dharris27 Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 Here's the quick run down... we broke up a little over a year ago now. We were together for two and i hate to admit that i broke up with him, just because i know that makes people dismiss you on this board. Please don't, it was the hardest thing to do and i was manipulated into staying with him (controlling, angry, socially avoidant, ect.) I did really love him though and still can see why someone would. We were both in a club in college that is having a christmas get together where we'll be sitting around a table together for the first time ever. He got a new girlfriend almost immediately and she worships him therefore they are still together, that was hard enough to see and i struggled with the strange reality that some guy who had begged me to be with him four times and even the last who even claimed that he loved me so much and he really wanted us to still talk ect... Well, that never happened of course. I wanted to stay in touch too, but instead he would just text me happy holidays even thought he had a new GF and once suggested we should talk he next time we saw each other but when i saw him he barely waved at me and then texted to apologize to me later. BTW he has the worst social anxiety and strange personality paradoxes related to that of any person i've ever known, so these strange games or whatever he played were almost expected but were totally hurtful. When i would/do see him with his new GF which seems to have been about ten or fifteen times in the past year we don't look at each other or talk. Obviously I'm single so it's really nerve racking for me. His new GF looks either smug or like shes going to freak out every time I am near even though she's like seven years older than me and him. I am so freakin nervous about being a small room with them. They make me feel like the most awful person, like i have no right to be where they are, and to have someone i slept with for two years treat me like air is probably the most painful thing I've ever experienced. I was such a good girlfriend to him and he treated me not nearly as well, he's even somewhat aware but i still feel like the awful one and sometimes i feel lame and stupid looking in their eyes because i'm still single. He's such a nervous wreck the three times we have been in a room together and she has not been there, i do what i promised and i say hi to be polite, ect. but he just responds really nervously and then ends up pacing, getting really nervous, and then leaving the room or venue even if all our mutual friends are there. (a couple people suggested he probably still has feelings for me) WHAT! Why did i choose to be with someone who's wrecked me like this, i don't know. How could he just know and have been so in love with me and everything turn out like this. How to i behave at the dinner when they are both there...i just feel so nervous.
orangehose Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Ugh, sounds like a stressful situation. Any way you could avoid the dinner? Probably what I'd do in this situation, but I'm a complete wimp about these things and probably shouldn't be imitated. Anyway, I guess the better advice would be to keep your chin up, try to sit away from them, say hello politely but then not go out of your way to make conversation if they don't talk to you. He does sound like he has some major personality issues. Don't read too much into his behavior, or at least not anything about you and your former relationship. He is what he is. Ultimately, what he and his new girlfriend think of you doesn't matter - what YOU think of you matters the most.
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