LovieDove24 Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 For those of you who are married or have been in a long term relationship, I wonder: Did your relationship start off full of chemistry and then settle into something more sustainable and loving? OR Did it start off more like friends and the chemistry came later?
jwi71 Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 First one! She'd come over Friday after classes and not leave till Monday - getting out of bed only for "nature calls". Yes, we did actually skip meals one weekend. That was a good weekend!
GoodOnPaper Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 Kind of in-between. Like a fast-forming companionship that was more than friends but never really having the chemistry (at least on my side) that I figured there should be.
lonelyandfrustrated Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Ours started with TONS of chemistry, but after eight years and four kids, it's more like the chemistry of mixing bleach and ammonia.
Tony T Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Ours started with TONS of chemistry, but after eight years and four kids, it's more like the chemistry of mixing bleach and ammonia. You really know how to get a point across! Do you think a lot of marriages are destined to end up like this or some similar circumstance?
Touche Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 For those of you who are married or have been in a long term relationship, I wonder: Did your relationship start off full of chemistry and then settle into something more sustainable and loving? OR Did it start off more like friends and the chemistry came later? Wow, that's a tough one. It's not really either one. We started as friends, although we were both attracted, but I really didn't think I was ready for anything serious. He accepted seeing me as friends only and shortly after I fell head over heels in love. And now, it's "sustainable and loving" as you put it with bursts of the passion we had at the beginning.
Lovelybird Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 I think both cases are possible. chemistry came later sounds more "solid" Passion is a must I think. For those who have happy marriage, there must have something magic that tie them together in the very beginning, then later on they've made some decisions to continue that magic. I like Touche's version, friendship is a must too. besides passion, I have to know where the man's heart lay
lillygirl Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Both at first. He was just out of basic training and *buff* but nice and great to talk to as well. We both understood each other. I can't imagine being in a relationship that didn't have a strong friend element. For me, it would be impossible to stay in the bad times without it. Great question.
Wicked Smile Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 For those of you who are married or have been in a long term relationship, I wonder: Did your relationship start off full of chemistry and then settle into something more sustainable and loving? OR Did it start off more like friends and the chemistry came later? When I got married we were powered with a combustable fuel lol. When it was hot it was REALLy hot but it got so distant between those hot periods over time, quite quickly. The issue for me was I was incapable at that time to take my love to the next level and she wasn't capable of giving me what I needed. Without love it's just sex. I could have that with no problem with someone else. Somehow....Our relationship hit bottom. For both of us. I asked for help, cheesy i know, and woke up the next day infused with a whole new level of love for her. Not based on sex or getting what I wanted, but a need for her to be in my life, happy and fulfilled. The passion wasn't even on my mind at the time. As a side affect we grew a whole new bond. A deep love and fell head over heels in love with each other. The passion we have now is RED hot. Because I need her, I want her. It's better than it ever was. Sometimes we want to be slow and savor the moment. Others I make her take it hard til she shivers like a woman desperate for water as I give it to her. She loves it both ways. Both are needed and both are awesome. But passion comes from either 2 places. love or lust. If it's lust then it will die out when the newness wears off. When life seeps into the fantasy of it. If it's truly love then 2 tunnels form. 1 for the daily life of living and another for living for each other's moment. I couldn't imagine a woman I'd rather take and look into her eyes as she took it than my beautiful wife. Ask me that early in our marriage and completely different person would have answered you.
stillafool Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 When I got married we were powered with a combustable fuel lol. When it was hot it was REALLy hot but it got so distant between those hot periods over time, quite quickly. The issue for me was I was incapable at that time to take my love to the next level and she wasn't capable of giving me what I needed. Without love it's just sex. I could have that with no problem with someone else. Somehow....Our relationship hit bottom. For both of us. I asked for help, cheesy i know, and woke up the next day infused with a whole new level of love for her. Not based on sex or getting what I wanted, but a need for her to be in my life, happy and fulfilled. The passion wasn't even on my mind at the time. As a side affect we grew a whole new bond. A deep love and fell head over heels in love with each other. The passion we have now is RED hot. Because I need her, I want her. It's better than it ever was. Sometimes we want to be slow and savor the moment. Others I make her take it hard til she shivers like a woman desperate for water as I give it to her. She loves it both ways. Both are needed and both are awesome. But passion comes from either 2 places. love or lust. If it's lust then it will die out when the newness wears off. When life seeps into the fantasy of it. If it's truly love then 2 tunnels form. 1 for the daily life of living and another for living for each other's moment. I couldn't imagine a woman I'd rather take and look into her eyes as she took it than my beautiful wife. Ask me that early in our marriage and completely different person would have answered you. I think I need a cold shower now!!!!:love::bunny:
Author LovieDove24 Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 Haha stillafool, me too!!! Ever thought about writing romance novels Wicked Smile?
Saville Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Ours started with TONS of chemistry, but after eight years and four kids, it's more like the chemistry of mixing bleach and ammonia. I know it is not a funny situation to be in, believe me, but when I read it I was...ROTFLMAO. Saville
GemMoon Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 I think I need a cold shower now!!!!:love::bunny: me too..oh my gosh..
Wicked Smile Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Haha stillafool, me too!!! Ever thought about writing romance novels Wicked Smile? Now that's something that just won't happen..lol. I can see it now. I'd lose 90 of my 100 man points and be on probation. I'd rather just give my wife the novel in person But seriously, passion is the key. To go through life with mere motion is quite useless. I'd rather go in with lotion and RED hot!!
lonelyandfrustrated Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 You really know how to get a point across! Do you think a lot of marriages are destined to end up like this or some similar circumstance? I think that when people (or one person) think that a marriage is a failure because the fireworks have cooled, that's when you get the chlorine gas fumes. If you don't expect the ups and down of long-term relationships, if you don't take commitments seriously, you're gonna have a hard time. If YOU get it, if YOU'RE serious, and your partner is not, you're gonna get gassed.
Lovelybird Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Somehow....Our relationship hit bottom. For both of us. I asked for help, cheesy i know, and woke up the next day infused with a whole new level of love for her. Not based on sex or getting what I wanted, but a need for her to be in my life, happy and fulfilled. . quite a story ! what happened that changed you feelings and thinking towards her?
Author LovieDove24 Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 Lonely and Frustrated... I am not married myself but I can certainly appreciate what you're saying. The underlying passion should always be "there" but its not always at the forefront. If one of the two of you, or BOTH of you aren't going to stay commited when it's hit the back burner then it doesnt matter HOW much passion is there when its good. Is this this what you're saying? Wicked Smile... I'd also like to know what made you wake up that morning and have your "lightbulb" moment with your wife. Was it the commitment that kicked in that lonelyandfrustrated was referring to??
tomswife Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Ours started with an urge to explore. It's been 7 years we are still exploring, it is quite an adventure.
Recommended Posts