alwayssme Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 So I was looking at this book, I didn't have the chance to read all of it and didn't want to buy it but I skimmed through it..It was called "Men who love bitches" or something of that sort...also there were other books that talk about how you SHOULD be in order to keep the relationship going. For some reason the book pissed me off (lol)...i wasn't exactly ms. nice girl...but i did have some of the flaws they mentioned.. Do we NEED to play these stupid games in order to have someone look at us as "independent" or it is so attractive when you let your man or girlfriend think you don't need them in your life?? Err..Isn't love about finding someone and loving them FOR WHO THEY ARE? flaws and all? that book annoyed me because if its true then that sucks...i know its not like that for me..if i love you, i would feel hurt if u act like ur fine without me and act careless because that would mean that u dont really love me then... What are your guys thoughts on these mind games???
LiveandLearn Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 Do we NEED to play these stupid games in order to have someone look at us as "independent" or it is so attractive when you let your man or girlfriend think you don't need them in your life?? Err..Isn't love about finding someone and loving them FOR WHO THEY ARE? flaws and all? that book annoyed me because if its true then that sucks...i know its not like that for me..if i love you, i would feel hurt if u act like ur fine without me and act careless because that would mean that u dont really love me then... I've read that book. I can say that that's part of why I'm where I am right now in my relationship/marriage. But I didn't distance myself on purpose so that my husband will have that "thrill of the chase" feeling. My behavior was more of a defense mechanism. I would emotionally detach myself (or at least try to) from him to keep myself from getting hurt; I was trying to protect myself, which in the end, I still got hurt. Our arguments would always boil down to me being "cold and distant" with him, when he wanted me to be the exact opposite. It didn't really bring him closer, but just pushed him away. I have learned that about myself and know that that is what I need to work on. Relationships shouldn't be about mind games. Games are for children. Yes, the author brings up some good points; i.e. about not being a doormat, but that should be applied to your life in general, not just relationships.
hereandnow Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 I don't believe that stuff at all. I want someone who is going to be warm and caring and into me. I don't really get where all of this stuff is coming from these days. Obviously, one shouldn't be codependent or anything like that, but that kind of thing seems to take it to the other extreme. If someone isn't going to love you for who you are, what the hell are you going to do? Keep up an act for the rest of your life?
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