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I wonder how much control we have


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Here's the thing.

 

I'm 32 and a pretty decent catch - if I do say so myself. Far from perfect, but with a lot of solid qualities and a bit extra.

 

Anyway, my one serious relationship ended after 5 years and even though I know - on an intellectual level - that it was for the best, I don't find it easy at all to let go.

 

Why the f*** can't I just follow my head and deal with the pain, and move on. Why must I pine endlessly for what I know to be lost. It pisses me off that I must focus on how wonderful she was, when I know deep down she was probably never right and that her devotion was perhaps only ever half-way serious.

 

I need love in my life, and I need it right now. But I know I must heal first and all that follows, but I just don't want to be alone, you know?

 

I have so much to offer and am ready to receive, but there's this phase I simply must survive first.

 

Do you ever feel as if you could get better a lot faster, if only you were able to listen to your mind and let the past rest?

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