Taking Friendship to the Next Level

[dexxxy]

I know this topic has been covered a fair few times though i have a slightly different version of the question and i really need some help.

 

Going back many years in school, i was introduced to a girl by the name of Steph, who was an addition to my friends group and at the time she was with a boyfriend. I had a slight feeling for her though a month later i ended up in a relationship myself and she broke up.

 

Two years later the group split and she went with her friends and i went with mine though earlier this year, the group got back together though on the first group catch up night at the pub, she ended up meeting a guy and are now "gf/bf". I personally don't see their relationship lasting that long because she is insecure and he's just wanting to be with someone.

 

I'm a very mature person for my age and i have spoken to my friends about this and they say that it would be a good match though i scared if i say the question that i will loose a good friend and make it awkward when going out. I’m not sure if she has interests or just likes my sense of humor.

 

What should i do?

Has it been too long of knowing her?

Do I test the waters more when she breaks up with her boyfriend?

 

 

 

Thanks!

[BlueHarvest]

Not to make your opinion of her less....but why would you want to involve yourself with a girl who, in your own words,"is insecure and just wanting to be with someone".

 

What do you view as getting out of the relationship with her? Do you think that you can be her knight in shining armour there to protect her from the wrongs of the world? To protect her from ever being lonely again?

 

To me a relationship is a trifecta...it has to have logical love, physical love, and emotional love.

 

Physical Love=Basic attraction, consumated usually by sex.

Emotional Love=Trust, understanding, shared intimate moments all make up emotional love.

Logical Love=An understanding of where your life(lives) is(are) going...an example of this is two kids going off to colleges on opposite sides of the country. Logic dictates that this relationship would be hard pressed to last simply because they are being seperated physically. Logical love also has some regard to how much you connect on an intellectual level.

 

If you have logical love and physical love but no emotional love...then you haven't built up enough of a connection and are rushing into a relationship.

 

If you have physical love and emotional love but no logical love...then you have what is called hopeless romanticism...similar to Romeo and Juliet.

 

If you have emotional love and logical love but no physical love...then you have a friendship.

 

My 2 cents.

[diggy]

This is probably a bad idea because if she had feelings for you she would have probably shown it already.

 

However, you might have a chance, but it depends on how much you value her friendship vs how much you want her to be yours.

 

If you really really want her to be yours, then go all out and win her over, and if you fail, you will lose the friendship. Risk/reward:)

 

Good luck man!

[dexxxy]

I personally feel as though i have all three factors in feelings towards her. I had a thorough reflection and I've realised that she kind of flirts back though i guess because she's in a current relationship that she doesn't want to ruin it or whatever. I guess my only solution is to wait until the right time comes along and analysis it from there.

 

Thanks for you reply

[PrincessPeach]

Why do people always think it will be awkward after they tell that good friend of theirs they are interested in them romantically?!? From my experience it is only akward when the person who tells makes it awkward themselves. Them thinking that it will be awkward is what makes it awkward.

 

Let me put it this way...

 

If you tell a girl you like her... nothing from your end has changed! You liked her before you told her, you like her after. The ONLY difference is that now she knows about it. But for you it's exactly the same... so if you start acting different, that is what will create awkwardness. She'll think "He was a good friend, but now he acts differently around me."

 

Just keep being the same you after she knows. if she likes you... she'll let you know some way or another! If not, then you're still both treating each other the same as before so what's there to be awkward about?

 

Would you stop being friends with a girl because she said she liked you? Probably not. You would likely be more inclined not to be friends if she started acting in weird ways that you weren't used to her doing. You'd think she was acting weird and would wonder what happened to the girl who you were friends with rather than what she turned herself into.

[dexxxy]

Yeah, your right. I think i just have to view it as what ever happens, happens for the better or worse. If i succeed in thinking like this then i'm sure i wont be thinking about how awkward it will be afterwards because i'll then know the answer.