why me

[justdoe]

The best I can do to describe my situation is to post this poem I wrote.

Truth has been told

Never did I want to believe that someone would hurt and disgrace me like this Admitting the only reason for welcoming me into his home and taking care of me was not due to friendship. I was only meant to fulfill his sexual needs. All in all, I was his “home based whore”. This entire situation was probably the most well thought out manipulations of the century. Eight years have passed. Now it has all come to me crying, hurting, and hating the fact that I trusted someone so much. Now I am going to paid to leave here. He met a lady, lied about me. Took an oath and swore on his mother’s grave to stay “hush hush”. Then he told his brother who knows what. His brothers rings me a 6am and threatens me physically. But does the” Friend” care? No not at all. He went away for a bit. Before he returned I asked him to not ask me to do “jobs” anymore. So now I am not needed. Just a simple “home based whore” who refuses to work. Now I have to go away. And his network of friends and family will congratulate him for disposing of the “burden” a.k.a. ME. Hoping that time will heal my wounded heart and soul. As angry as I may be at myself for taking a chance and trusting another, I did gain something

[i gained knowledge

[i will be very careful as to ever fully trust another ever again

I will never speak to or contact this person ever againI do not wish them misery. I do not hate themI just pity someone who would take a strong lady and wear her down to a self destructing, Anorexic, sad, miserable hobbit. This was all done because…….. I HAVE NO FACE. I HAVE NO VOICE. I AM JUST A MACHINE. I lay ON MY BELLY AND INSERT YOURSELF INTO ME. These words are real and true. Life is not meant to be fair. It may be a series of test. Nobody knows for sure why things happen the way they do. We have to pick ourselves up and NOT allow the same thing to knock us back down. Next time I fall it will be from something new. These words are not negative. They are my way of saying, I WILL NOT LET THE SAME THING KNOCK ME DOWN MORE THAN ONCE! NEXT TIME I FALL, IT’S FROM SOMETHING NEW

I am SOOOO HURT I don't understand how a friend can be capable of this PLEASE HELP ME

[norajane]

I'm not sure I entirely understand your situation, except that you've been betrayed and terribly hurt by someone you trusted who used you in a bad way. I'm sorry that's happened, I'm sorry you're hurting.

 

I don't know why friends can do things like that, except that they were never really your friend. Some people are so self-centered and selfish, narcissistic personalities, that they really have no clue how to be friends, nor do they care that they hurt other people. They only love themselves, no one else, ever.

 

You're obviously very strong...you know that the best you can do for yourself is to move on and never look back. That strength will get you through the hard part, the heartbreak and the anger and the despair. And that strength - and TIME - will help you get through to the other side feeling better and much stronger than you feel now.

 

Now it is time for you to take care of yourself. Forget him. Focus on YOU. Please see a doctor to help you with the anorexia. Exercise and eat healthy. Pamper yourself; take a vacation if you can. If you can't, do little things for yourself, whatever your pleasures are. You will get through this.

 

Good luck to you!

[justdoe]

I am seeking true and honest advice. You have knowledge and strength. I have so much going on, but NO friends. Thank you so very much for reading and responding. Any and All comments, questions, even feedback that may be brutal and negative IS NEEDED. I would hug you if I could.

 

I AM LOST