Personality Disorders: The Controllers, Abusers, Manipulators and Users.

[Trialbyfire]

http://counsellingresource.com/distress/personality-disorders/understanding/index.html

 

Here's a consolidated view of the different types of personality disorders:

 

Personality Disorders are divided into three groups, or “clusters”.

• Cluster A personality disorders are individuals who have odd, eccentric behaviors. Paranoid, Schizoid, and Schizotypal Personalities fall into this cluster.
  
• Cluster B are personalities that are highly dramatic, both emotionally and behaviorally. Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic, and Histrionic Personality are in this group.
  
• Cluster C are personalities characterized by being anxious and fearful. Avoidant, Dependent, and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality fall into this cluster.
  

Cluster B disorders are sometimes known as relationship destroyers.

[Touche]

Yep. And they usual "destroy" - though "eject" would be the more appropriate term - relationships with those who are confused about where their loyalties should lie.

[Trialbyfire]

I strongly encourage members to read this article. It focuses on Cluster B disorders which rotate around drama, highly emotional states, a sense of self-entitlement such as situational morality, etc. It's very telling.

[Tony T]

I don't mean to hijack this thread BUT just how many sane, rational people are there around...people without some sort of psychological disorder that others have to tolerate?

[Nemo]

You don't have to be nuts to be a LoveShacker, but it sure helps.

[Trialbyfire]

Surprisingly Tony, there are quite a few sane and rational people running around. Where you'll find the disorderly congregating is through the threads on LS, people who've experienced the disorderly and people who are the disorderly, trying to figure themselves out.

 

After D-day, thanks to LS, I also went for therapy and forced pushed my ex-H into therapy. The great part of it was that he still continues to receive treatment, thus isn't creating havoc with the people around him and having received my therapy for anger management issues, I got my clean bill of emotional health from my therapist. She absolutely rocked. Creds up the ying-yang and decades of experience, all around the world.

 

I guess that's why I'm a strong proponent for therapy. It really helps if you can find the right one.

[Ocean-Blue]

I see a lot of Cluster B in me.

[Nemo]

Surprisingly Tony, there are quite a few sane and rational people running around.

Maybe all that running distracts them from the disturbing reality that they're completely NUTS.

[Trialbyfire]

Maybe all that running distracts them from the disturbing reality that they're completely NUTS.

Haha...runners are nuts, there's no doubt about it. Who would beat themselves up like that physically, day in and day out?

[Storyrider]

Your best bet is to find someone with a psychological disorder that compliments your own, so you can get a good codependency going.

[Trialbyfire]

Your best bet is to find someone with a psychological disorder that compliments your own, so you can get a good codependency going.

What happens when you don't have a disorder? Do you find someone to mess you up?

[Nemo]

Your best bet is to find someone with a psychological disorder that compliments your own, so you can get a good codependency going.

I think you mean complements. "Oh, what a nice personality disorder you have. You must be so popular in the nuthouse."

[Storyrider]

I think you mean complements. "Oh, what a nice personality disorder you have. You must be so popular in the nuthouse."

Ah, you're right, you OCD sadist!

[shadowplay]

Wow, you're really on a personality disorder crusade, TBF.

 

Keep in mind that there's a lot of debate within the psychological community about the validity of personality disorders as they just describe clusters of traits that don't necessarily have common etiologies. I don't necessarily agree with either side. I do think some are more legit than others (like Borderline, for example).

 

Some are virtually untreatable as they're probably temperament more than anything, like NPD. How do you "teach" somebody to be less of an a-hole?

[Trialbyfire]

Not as much a crusade shadow, more like an awareness heightening. You read thread after thread after thread of heartbreak from the members on LS. Within each thread, you see how so many of these symptoms, primarily from the people and actions being described.

 

I think that if more people are aware of disorders, the more can consider therapy not so much because they themselves are disordered but to help them get beyond what the disordered have done to them. I think early intervention is a great way to go.

[Nemo]

Wow, you're really on a personality disorder crusade, TBF.

Can one have a personality disorder about personality disorders? I sometimes obsess about my obsessions, but I don't think that's relevant to this thread. I can't be sure, though. Then again, who can be sure about anything? I sure can't. What does it mean to be sure? Is that "absolutely" sure? Who can be sure that they will never, ever change their mind? Never can be a very long time, you know.

I don't necessarily agree with either side.

So you like being in the middle?

[shadowplay]

Can one have a personality disorder about personality disorders? I sometimes obsess about my obsessions, but I don't think that's relevant to this thread. I can't be sure, though. Then again, who can be sure about anything? I sure can't. What does it mean to be sure? Is that "absolutely" sure? Who can be sure that they will never, ever change their mind? Never can be a very long time, you know.

 

So you like being in the middle?

 

Yeah, it's actually common knowledge that medical and psychology students go through a phase where they think they have everything after reading about different illnesses/disorders in their textbooks. Makes sense since many illnesses describe a cluster of common traits or symptoms. It's all about the severity. A professional has seen enough people to have a good sense of how far somebody deviates from the norm. Also, people are bad at objectively judging themselves.

[marlena]

Just wondering. Are there too many people with disorders or too many disorders for people?

[Ocean-Blue]

We can ask if we're becoming increasingly over-medicalized. Or is it that we are only now learning about diseases of the mind...hence the apparent onslaught of all these disorders and diagnoses being handed out. Who knows. There are those that take advantage of this stuff - they use it as some kind of shield (to absolve themselves of personal responsibility sometimes). Other times, the diagnosis is real and helpful.

 

I'm going through a lovely phase where I'm being told I'm quite mentally f'ed up. I have no idea if I am or if it's people completely misundrestanding me. I don't know what to believe. I try to not read anything on personality disorders...b/c the more I read, the more convinced I became that I am fundamentally flawed.

 

I have to say, I really envy the normal women in this world. The ones that can have healthly, satisfying relationships. It must be nice.

[Trialbyfire]

Look O-B, everyone has some fundamental flaws. It's the level of flaws that are grouped together, that get the label of disorder or not.

 

If you see enough that concerns you, consider discussing it with a councellor. There's nothing wrong with an emotional health check, regardless of disorder or not. That's one thing that bugs me about people. I sincerely wish that people would understand that going to get therapy doesn't make you nuts. You're already nuts or not.

[Ocean-Blue]

I agree, TBF. It's always good to be self-aware (generally speaking).

 

I am actually in the process of seeing a counselor, GP and some other people. It has come to a temp. halt now that I'm back home. I will resume all of it when I get back.

 

To be honest, I don't think the people I've spoken to know what they're doing. I hate how narrowly people interpret everything.

[Trialbyfire]

That's no good. It sounds like you're going to have to hunt around for better ones. I don't know how you could easily find a good one. Mine was highly recommended to me by people I trusted so she was an easy find and once I met her, the synergies were perfect. We connected within the first 5 minutes, I blurted everything out with no reservations from that minute on with no looking back, session after session. I'm guessing this isn't the type of relationship you have with yours.

[Ocean-Blue]

That's no good. It sounds like you're going to have to hunt around for better ones. I don't know how you could easily find a good one. Mine was highly recommended to me by people I trusted so she was an easy find and once I met her, the synergies were perfect. We connected within the first 5 minutes, I blurted everything out with no reservations from that minute on with no looking back, session after session. I'm guessing this isn't the type of relationship you have with yours.

 

Well it's mainly be blabbing away with her making a few comments here and there. I find that most people I've spoken to (in a therapist capacity) have treated me like I'm some kind of entertainment. It really doesn't feel like it's going anywhere.

[Trialbyfire]

Well it's mainly be blabbing away with her making a few comments here and there. I find that most people I've spoken to (in a therapist capacity) have treated me like I'm some kind of entertainment. It really doesn't feel like it's going anywhere.

It takes a few sessions before they start to get a feel for you. If they're inexperienced or overloaded, or just plain not great, they're not going to be terribly useful. It helps if you set some ground rules with them, whether or not you want to be interrupted, whether you want recommendations and opinions throughout your commentary or not, whatever. It helps to set expectations for both of you.

[Ocean-Blue]

Yeah. I'm hoping that more sessions with my psychologist will begin to peel away the layers of initial BS.

 

It's very interesting though. You go through life wondering if something is "wrong"...you don't really know. Sometimes you scoff at the idea and attribute it to you being "lazy" and not "hard working" enough. Sometimes, you succumb and relish the idea that maybe you aren't so horribly screwed up, that it's because of things that were out of your control that you are the way you are. Either way, one has to take control and make changes.