northstar1 Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 if it is some other issue then what is it? i am angry because i wasnt who i should have been towards the end, yes i wanted out i wont lie. but to never be with her again or speak to her no. i never wanted that. she created this. it wasnt my fault it hurt me so much i couldnt speak to her. or allow her to speak to me as if all is well when it wasnt. i moved away from friends and family, got so stressed by the whole ordeal that i developed ocd and that turned me into a wuss tbh. i dont know why i am keeping my self a prisoner of my past. it hurts me. i know im hurting myself. what else can i do. ive tried to move forward but cant Peter, so in your mind, what would it take for you to move forward and live your life? Talking your ex? Sending her a letter? You need to think about what sort of remedy you think is out there that you haven't done, other than trying to forget about her and move on? I think we all have craved being in contact with our ex's, that there is some magical phrase they will utter that will give us peace inside. But that's not reality man. Heck, there are still things I want to stay to my ex, things I feel I didn't do right, or didn't say to her.............but you know what? That's not gonna change anything for the present. I'm sure she's forgiven you of anything you are feeling as regret, it's time for you to forgive yourself, let go of the past and carry on.
smiiiley Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Hey Peter, we split up this august but kept in touch for the most part. I feel just like you that i have tried to move on but this heartbreak just wont listen to logic...i'm extremely depressed and honestly people give me advice like "keep yourself busy" or "hang out with friends"...i've done it..i've went on date, and everything...but i just can't shake these feelings...and i'm afraid i never will or i'm afraid it will take me such a long time to let this go and not sure i ever quite will...but i DO want to make this better..i just dont know how...and i want to reach out to him but im afraid im only going to get burned...actually i feel so annoyed with everything and everyone right now...i feel like im walkin in air and just dont want to be in this situation NEVER!! I struggle wit NC as I want to call him so bad but i know if he doesnt respond, it will just hurt me...He's the one who understood me, who knew me..he was a part of me..how do i let go of that? i know people say they "loved" their ex but LOVE is a strong word and i know in my heart i always felt that for him...even as friends...i just care for him sooo much i dont want him out of my life..but telling him that will make me look weak and vulnerable.....i hate this:(
Author Peter_pan Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 Peter, so in your mind, what would it take for you to move forward and live your life? Talking your ex? Sending her a letter? You need to think about what sort of remedy you think is out there that you haven't done, other than trying to forget about her and move on? I think we all have craved being in contact with our ex's, that there is some magical phrase they will utter that will give us peace inside. But that's not reality man. Heck, there are still things I want to stay to my ex, things I feel I didn't do right, or didn't say to her.............but you know what? That's not gonna change anything for the present. I'm sure she's forgiven you of anything you are feeling as regret, it's time for you to forgive yourself, let go of the past and carry on. hey north what it would take for me to move forward with my life is if i met someone better and more attractive i want her to be sorry.i want her to know she was totally harsh to me. tbh i am quite selfish cause i feel like i dont want her to get away with moving on and leaving me behind. i want to be happier than her. i know if there was a miracle and we got bk, it wud only be temporary happiness and i would feel living with her in her new home would be her path in life once again. i feel like im living off her riches or something i also found out today she is living with him now and she is driving down tomoz in her new car and she will definitely be out sat around my town i was with her when she bought her first car and we both shared it. and now she is sharing her bed with him at night and she has a new car. feels like i have totally lost at moving on and trying to better myself from her. she has a better life. i hate how she is with him and she only knew him a couple of weeks and had been with me for years! guys. shoot me now
northstar1 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 hey north what it would take for me to move forward with my life is if i met someone better and more attractive i want her to be sorry.i want her to know she was totally harsh to me. tbh i am quite selfish cause i feel like i dont want her to get away with moving on and leaving me behind. i want to be happier than her. i know if there was a miracle and we got bk, it wud only be temporary happiness and i would feel living with her in her new home would be her path in life once again. i feel like im living off her riches or something i also found out today she is living with him now and she is driving down tomoz in her new car and she will definitely be out sat around my town i was with her when she bought her first car and we both shared it. and now she is sharing her bed with him at night and she has a new car. feels like i have totally lost at moving on and trying to better myself from her. she has a better life. i hate how she is with him and she only knew him a couple of weeks and had been with me for years! guys. shoot me now Peter - a new car and a new bf does not make her life better. Think about that. You can't worry about comparing your life to hers anymore. Who the hell knows if she's happy, and at this point, you need to stop caring. Thinking about her being with her new guy is going to torment you. You need to realize this in order to be at peace - you can't make her feel bad, you can't make her realize that she hurt you. What YOU can do is make yourself happy and worry about finding someone to make you happy. This girl is in the past now, you need to leave her there and live in the present man. Make a new years resolution to yourself that in 2009 you are going to stop living in 2008 any longer.
Author Peter_pan Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 **** it. time to let go. after new year i swear down im not posting here until 2010 and can let you all know what ive been up to. take care people x
inulg Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 If someone dumps you for their own selifsh reasons, they don't deserve any attention from us anymore, let alone contact. this whole thread reminds me that i think alot of us dumpee's are looking for an apology. we just don't want to believe that the person that we labeled as 'different' is really just an '*******' ... i hate thinking that i gave my heart to such a jerk... i would never ever have allowed myself to fall in love if i knew he would be the way he is now.
Author Peter_pan Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 this whole thread reminds me that i think alot of us dumpee's are looking for an apology. we just don't want to believe that the person that we labeled as 'different' is really just an '*******' ... i hate thinking that i gave my heart to such a jerk... i would never ever have allowed myself to fall in love if i knew he would be the way he is now. thats true. so then shall i avoid going out and seeing her (might not even talk to me!) or shall i be the bigger person and go. should i bring up the split or shall i act like it never happened and just be normal and calm as possible? or have a dig and leave it, or if possible befriend her get her number and go from there, i e have a go at her after luring her in as im ok with it? new year res is not to post on here btw
hereandnow Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Where are you planning on running into her? You've been feeling down for a while, so maybe this is something you need to do for yourself. How much worse could you really feel? That being said, things probably won't go the way you want them to, and it probably will hurt worse for a minute, but maybe it's worth it for some closure. But, you never know until you try, and like I said, it sounds like you've been really down for a while. I saw my ex gf with someone else last night. Great fun. We've been broken up for about 2 months, and have stayed in touch most of that time. Really doubting the wisdom behind that now. But, actually, I'm feeling all right this morning. Having a hard time giving up hope though, just as you have.
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