Peter_pan Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 i dont even no where to start. my whole situation is f'd up. i cant win. its a year later. i still think of her. it still hurts. feels like the air needs to be cleared or something. but again, its been so long, she still with him, what would i even say. it wouldnt even matter. if i go out this sat, i know ill see her. there are couple clubs in my small town.... even if i think for one second "if we were together now..." parents wouldnt agree, she dont live in this country any more, she has a bf who she basically went out with straight after me, shes prob a different person now, all of this **** has happened, id always be paranoid bad memories would still hurt.... im so feeling like **** again. i wish things werent like this. sigh sigh sigh sigh x 100000 im sick of being sick about it, im sick of posting here for the 644th time, im sick that things are this way. im sick knowing that she got my number off a mutual friend we share and asked about me, never to call or txt im sick thinking that maybe she did that to get back with me but was to scared. im sick knowing she hasnt contacted me in a year. im sick thinking how maybe its my fault that i couldnt be strong enough to keep in contact and stick it out i miss her. i miss her family. i miss our good times. im not one for getting with other girls easily. she was probably the best i'll ever get or have. ive eaten up my fair share of advice, i believe there is none left. i hate how this whole thing worked out not for me.
EmperorR Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 Man you have to let go its the only way, give up the hope it's done finish over. "People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead. You've got to know when it's dead."
Author Peter_pan Posted December 17, 2008 Author Posted December 17, 2008 shake the dust off and all that jazz right? i feel so hurt. like we argued and didnt get on etc, so mutually decided that we needed space , so lived in separate rooms. also with uni coming i felt trapped with only ever being with her and she felt the same way. both kinda wanted independence. she said "other wise your get to your 30's and think it, then what? you would never have known what its like to experience other things, other people. she was correct. things went well after that. fwb worked for a month. then she got a new job and met this guy and she changed. she made her mind up we were done and moved on. only she did it right away. didnt want me anymore. her feelings had changed she said. i realize i had my issues that needed sorting. ocd. in the end she stopped caring and acted so distant cold and angry at me. it made me very upset and i would often cry in my room whilst she went out with her mates. i tried getting her back but she was gone. she is his now. i feel totally responsable for the breakup and realize now if only i had realized what i had. i dont want any other girls, to me she was my soul mate and best friend. no one since or before has known me inside out like she did. mayb that and living together so young (19-20) was just to much pressure. not that we werent meant to be. my life is complete in terms of friends now and i am recovered from my illness. i wish i could un do time what can i do guys? i want her back. but know it just cant happen.
BikerBeagle Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 OCD and you've "recovered" from it? ...doesn't sound like it to me. I can understand that you are hurting, but a year later? ...you should be experiencing at least some of the light at the end of the tunnel no matter how long you dated her.
Author Peter_pan Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 yeah i have experienced some light at the end of the tunnel. even had another gf at one point for 3 months ! but realized i missed my ex more than before you mean it dosnt sound like it because "this" is my obsession now? like its switched off from one thing to this? i feel like there is no where to run or escape. its a lose lose situation
BikerBeagle Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 OCD is a disorder that doesn't target just one thing ...people who have OCD can obsess over anything, often multiple things depending on the severity ...so to say it 'switched' is a mistake. You have always either been obsessed with this person, or you are now obsessed with the pain of the situation (you simply can't let it go) ...or BOTH. Someone who has recovered from OCD would know this, so my guess is, you haven't recovered at all. Are you getting professional help? ...you probably need to.
Author Peter_pan Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 oh right well i guess your probably right. i dont know what to do. i wasnt obsessed with her at all only after she left me "you are now obsessed with the pain of the situation (you simply can't let it go)" this can be the only explanation what should i do? what professional would i see? a relationship counselor or? also i am planning on going out sat night and pretty sure ill see her, good idea or shall i avoid it and not see her ( its been a year nearly )
BikerBeagle Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 what should i do? what professional would i see? a relationship counselor or? You should see a therapist ...a psychologist, preferrably, who specializes in OCD ...Psychiatrist possible. NOT a relationship counselor ...what in the world for? ...you aren't IN a relationship and it's not a relationship issue you are looking to correct! also i am planning on going out sat night and pretty sure ill see her, good idea or shall i avoid it and not see her ( its been a year nearly ) I'll tell you to avoid her, but at this point, I don't think it matters ...for the simple fact that I don't think you will be able to KEEP yourself from going out on Saturday night just to see her.
Author Peter_pan Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 im 100% terrified of even seeing her, i dont know how i will react or feel. it would be hard to get me out on sat. i still dont know if i should
JooLee Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 do you know why, one year later, you are still obsessing and feeling this way? because you like the pain. you have felt it for so long that its the only thing you know, therefore, when you see a chance that might make you feel happy again, you would create a situation that would lead you back to feeling pain. in a way you can call yourself a masochist? i dont know, but it does sound like it. You need a healthier approach to life. Getting back your ex girlfriend would not change the world for you. You will not get any smarter, healthier, funnier. Yes momentarily you will be happy, but then insecurities will creep in and YOU will jeopardise your own relationship, your own happiness, because you are in love with misery. "i cant win. its a year later. i still think of her. it still hurts." win what? win the fact that you are happier than her? why is it? because you are not taking steps to be a better you. YOU decided to be unhappy. YOU decided you wanted to obsess and feel the pain. YOU have the control, peterpan, the remote is in your hands, USE it. There is no point crying over things that has happened. MOVE ON. LIVE YOUR LIFE. LAUGH. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, SO GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE TO BE HAPPY. about this saturday night. sure, go ahead and find her in every club and cry over it. a perfect example of how YOU are creating your own PAIN. sorry if its harsh but its not my intention at all. just, take a second and think, life is not all about being in love. there is so much more to live for, to be happy for.
hereandnow Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Sorry to hear you're going through so much pain, Peterpan. I have OCD as well. I began seeing a therapist for it about 17 months ago. I'm curious as to your symptoms, etc.
Crazy.S Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 PP I am in the same exact situation as you are. It has almost been over a year since she dumped me. I still think about her everyday and it is annoying. She got a new bf right after too. I miss everything about her. I know it sucks man, but there's really nothing we can do about it. I feel powerless, like I have no say and there's no options besides to move on. The only difference between us is that she lives 70 miles away from me. But I totally understand how you feel and it is really frustrating. We try so hard to move on, but at night it is the same thing. My heart is so numb from the pain that I don't even know if I still love her. But I definitely do miss her. The only thing that is keeping me sane is that I hope to be happy again. I really miss that feeling, it is something to work for.
Author Peter_pan Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 thanks for the replys they are very good! she lives 600 miles away from me and visits her original home (mum and siblings) which are in my home town. so every x mass summer easter etc she will visit for x amount of time. here and now i shall pm you. i shall re read everyones thoughts and comments and think of what i shall reply "but then insecurities will creep in and YOU will jeopardise your own relationship, your own happiness, because you are in love with misery" see that sentence has mad me realise something, my sadness did create insecurities and un happyness, i was in misery whilst with her and pushed her away some of the time. i dont know why? , i guess i just assumed she would always stick by me and never leave. esp not to start something else with someone else. she said to my mate, it just happened between them he was there at the right moment for her when we were splitting up.... great she told me, "its not what i want anymore, dont you care about what i want!?" i do not enjoy the pain, i just dont really remember a time ive been happy with my life. maybe its the ocd, ive lived with it so long that it just makes me feel constantly down? in her last letter to me, she was nice. she said she would always hold a place in her heart for me, i was her first love. and that if i ever needed to call her just pick up the phone. but how could i knowing she was with him now i just dont get why she said that. its like she didnt know it was killing me inside ? i do question a lot about whether i did the right thing going nc and ignoring her, not even being her friend or staying in contact. i know it was best in the short run but it hasnt worked out great in the long run has it. i dont know her anymore and she used to be my best friend who i could talk to about anything and same for her she said on the phone the last time i spoke to her last feb that she was upset that i wasnt speaking to her. but i told her it was to painful to be in contact and unless i had moved on then i couldnt. 4 months later i txt her (not knowing they split) and she never replied probably due to not wanting to talk about him. which is what her bm told me. so then i left it hoping she would contact me, she didnt. i tried to reach out before i left for home. simply txt her saying hey its me i am leaving on sat, would be nice to see you before i leave as i may not see you again she never replied . i guess she wanted to shut me out her life so she could move on completely. that hurts. still does. then at the 6 month mark with being with him, they split again. she came back to my home town to visit her mum etc, she met up with my bm and told him. got my number off him and asked how i was. he said to her you should give him a txt. she said maybe i will. she never did. i didnt want to break my NC and so left it. i was happy she wasnt with him. and again i hoped she would initiate contact, she didnt. i feel its all my fault. i feel like when i wished her luck and said i hope he is worth it that i gave her closure. she never gave it to me. i was left in hope for months that she would return. its now finally got through my head she isnt and i dont know what to do. i miss our good times and memories spent with her and her family during holidays etc aww guys . i hate this. looking back its like im never happy in the present i am only happy looking back at past events that make me realise what i had. this is obviously the case for my relationship yeah i wasnt happy feeling trapped with her and only having one girl friend thinking we would end up married. but now i realise she was perfect for me and i just pushed it away. what the hell can i do. i remember writing a letter to her but never sent it. it says about our good memories and the little things that i love that make her. and looking back, things that annoyed me about her just make me miss her even more. why did it end so cold. it didnt have to be this way i feel because she went off with him and i couldnt hack it or deal with it properly that i have truly lost her forever. yes its true i miss what she offered and her love etc. and yeah i can find it again in someone else hopefully, but i know now that it is HER that i miss being part of my life and I miss that we just drifted apart i dont know what to do tbh. i know getting her back would only give temporary happiness but then what. that is what i mean by i cant win.
northstar1 Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 thanks for the replys they are very good! she lives 600 miles away from me and visits her original home (mum and siblings) which are in my home town. so every x mass summer easter etc she will visit for x amount of time. here and now i shall pm you. i shall re read everyones thoughts and comments and think of what i shall reply "but then insecurities will creep in and YOU will jeopardise your own relationship, your own happiness, because you are in love with misery" see that sentence has mad me realise something, my sadness did create insecurities and un happyness, i was in misery whilst with her and pushed her away some of the time. i dont know why? , i guess i just assumed she would always stick by me and never leave. esp not to start something else with someone else. she said to my mate, it just happened between them he was there at the right moment for her when we were splitting up.... great she told me, "its not what i want anymore, dont you care about what i want!?" i do not enjoy the pain, i just dont really remember a time ive been happy with my life. maybe its the ocd, ive lived with it so long that it just makes me feel constantly down? in her last letter to me, she was nice. she said she would always hold a place in her heart for me, i was her first love. and that if i ever needed to call her just pick up the phone. but how could i knowing she was with him now i just dont get why she said that. its like she didnt know it was killing me inside ? i do question a lot about whether i did the right thing going nc and ignoring her, not even being her friend or staying in contact. i know it was best in the short run but it hasnt worked out great in the long run has it. i dont know her anymore and she used to be my best friend who i could talk to about anything and same for her she said on the phone the last time i spoke to her last feb that she was upset that i wasnt speaking to her. but i told her it was to painful to be in contact and unless i had moved on then i couldnt. 4 months later i txt her (not knowing they split) and she never replied probably due to not wanting to talk about him. which is what her bm told me. so then i left it hoping she would contact me, she didnt. i tried to reach out before i left for home. simply txt her saying hey its me i am leaving on sat, would be nice to see you before i leave as i may not see you again she never replied . i guess she wanted to shut me out her life so she could move on completely. that hurts. still does. then at the 6 month mark with being with him, they split again. she came back to my home town to visit her mum etc, she met up with my bm and told him. got my number off him and asked how i was. he said to her you should give him a txt. she said maybe i will. she never did. i didnt want to break my NC and so left it. i was happy she wasnt with him. and again i hoped she would initiate contact, she didnt. i feel its all my fault. i feel like when i wished her luck and said i hope he is worth it that i gave her closure. she never gave it to me. i was left in hope for months that she would return. its now finally got through my head she isnt and i dont know what to do. i miss our good times and memories spent with her and her family during holidays etc aww guys . i hate this. looking back its like im never happy in the present i am only happy looking back at past events that make me realise what i had. this is obviously the case for my relationship yeah i wasnt happy feeling trapped with her and only having one girl friend thinking we would end up married. but now i realise she was perfect for me and i just pushed it away. what the hell can i do. i remember writing a letter to her but never sent it. it says about our good memories and the little things that i love that make her. and looking back, things that annoyed me about her just make me miss her even more. why did it end so cold. it didnt have to be this way i feel because she went off with him and i couldnt hack it or deal with it properly that i have truly lost her forever. yes its true i miss what she offered and her love etc. and yeah i can find it again in someone else hopefully, but i know now that it is HER that i miss being part of my life and I miss that we just drifted apart i dont know what to do tbh. i know getting her back would only give temporary happiness but then what. that is what i mean by i cant win. Peter, you need to let go of the guilt and the regret. We all can look back at the relationship and have regrets for things we did/said or didn't say or do. I know I have regrets for things I didn't say. And those regrets consumed me for months, wishing I could have gone back and done it all over again..............now I've come to terms with those things, that I can't change what has happened. But, you need to forgive yourself for these regrets, or it will continue to consume you. The past is the past. You cannot go back and change things. No one is perfect in relationships, all we can do is learn from our past for our future. For your own sanity, you need to let it go man. Live happy.
Author Peter_pan Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 thanks mate if you were here right now id hug you and probably shed a tear you know relationships suck. because a) she was my best friend b) was closest to me like no 1 ever has c) she stuck by me when i was at my lowest point in life and when they end, thats it. there gone completely. i never thought id see the day she wasnt talking to me or what ever. i cant stand it. i am seriously considering trying to become her friend not to get her back, just so we are on speaking terms or mutual or what ever. so that i know she is ok. i still care about her even though all this has happened. i feel immature that this massive gap got created because i wanted to use NC as a tool to get her back. saying that because its been this long, i can easily continue to be like this. or i have the remote or power to change this. maybe its what needs to be done. the bridge has been burnt and road blocked maybe not for ever but quite possibly. and unless they are in your life one way or another, then how will you ever know ? would it be another regret
smiiiley Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Peter i am very curious to your story...i see it has been a year later and you're still thinking about your ex...xan you tell me for how long did you go no contact and what exactly happened? i'm wondering if going complete NC is best...or does NC just keep all these feelings bottled up that you wish you can say and keeps you from truly moving on? i am struggling with NC
Author Peter_pan Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 hey long long story tbh it was feb last year i went NC. i called her and tried one more time to change her mind about stuff. but she was set on being with this new guy and had no feelings for me anymore. i feel like when i called her i gave her more closure than what i needed on my part even though i knew she was seeing him. she told me it was nothing serious. the only reason i stayed nice and wished her luck was because i didnt want this..... to never hear from her or see her again. but looked what happened. so my advice would be to say what you have to say and leave it. dont be all childish and call names just say what ever you have to say, then you know its off your chest and as time passes at least you know you had your say and after x amount of time it wouldn't be weird to try and have a go, after all, everything has changed anyway
smiiiley Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 hey long long story tbh it was feb last year i went NC. i called her and tried one more time to change her mind about stuff. but she was set on being with this new guy and had no feelings for me anymore. i feel like when i called her i gave her more closure than what i needed on my part even though i knew she was seeing him. she told me it was nothing serious. the only reason i stayed nice and wished her luck was because i didnt want this..... to never hear from her or see her again. but looked what happened. so my advice would be to say what you have to say and leave it. dont be all childish and call names just say what ever you have to say, then you know its off your chest and as time passes at least you know you had your say and after x amount of time it wouldn't be weird to try and have a go, after all, everything has changed anyway what exactly do you mean by that? i feel like i'm going to be in the same situation as you are a year from now. are you still in love with her?
Author Peter_pan Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 hey long long story tbh it was feb last year i went NC. we just drifted apart agreed mutually to be friends with benifits and then she decided to move on. i decided i loved her and only wanted her, but it was to late, she met someone new and went out with him right away. and is still with him. she finally told me after weeks of me trying to get her back etc that she had been dating him and that she wants me to move on. she did this in a reply to my email i sent her a week before setting off for a holiday. i called her when i returned and tried one more time to change her mind about stuff. but she was set on being with this new guy and had no feelings for me anymore. i feel like when i called her i gave her more closure than what i needed on my part even though i knew she was seeing him. she told me it was nothing serious. i told her i couldt be in contact cause it was to hard and that maybe once i had moved on i could. 4 months later i reached out via txt and got nothing in return. since then i hoped she would contact me, as the ball is in her court the only reason i stayed nice and wished her luck was because i didnt want this..... to never hear from her or see her again. but looked what happened. so my advice would be to say what you have to say and leave it. dont be all childish and call names just say what ever you have to say, then you know its off your chest and as time passes at least you know you had your say and after x amount of time it wouldn't be weird to try and have a go, after all, everything has changed anyway i mean that if you dont feel as though you had your say about how you feel, they did you wrong and that its just low and dis respectful, then they never admit to being wrong, there not regretful and you just help them move on by being nice. so have it all out and leave it, unless you can be friends. if she hadnt of been dating him or being his new gf then i would have easily been able to stay in contact, but i hoped she would regret it and come back. i never had my say and a year later wish i had because either way ive not seen nor heard from her yeah i still love her. she was my first proper everything but i love who she was and that person died a long time ago. its sad. its life. and i mean i cant just randomly have a go at her now, its been to long, it would be weird and not worth it because everything has changed anyway theres just no point. and that in itself is just annoying
smiiiley Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 hey long long story tbh it was feb last year i went NC. we just drifted apart agreed mutually to be friends with benifits and then she decided to move on. i decided i loved her and only wanted her, but it was to late, she met someone new and went out with him right away. and is still with him. she finally told me after weeks of me trying to get her back etc that she had been dating him and that she wants me to move on. she did this in a reply to my email i sent her a week before setting off for a holiday. i called her when i returned and tried one more time to change her mind about stuff. but she was set on being with this new guy and had no feelings for me anymore. i feel like when i called her i gave her more closure than what i needed on my part even though i knew she was seeing him. she told me it was nothing serious. i told her i couldt be in contact cause it was to hard and that maybe once i had moved on i could. 4 months later i reached out via txt and got nothing in return. since then i hoped she would contact me, as the ball is in her court the only reason i stayed nice and wished her luck was because i didnt want this..... to never hear from her or see her again. but looked what happened. so my advice would be to say what you have to say and leave it. dont be all childish and call names just say what ever you have to say, then you know its off your chest and as time passes at least you know you had your say and after x amount of time it wouldn't be weird to try and have a go, after all, everything has changed anyway i mean that if you dont feel as though you had your say about how you feel, they did you wrong and that its just low and dis respectful, then they never admit to being wrong, there not regretful and you just help them move on by being nice. so have it all out and leave it, unless you can be friends. if she hadnt of been dating him or being his new gf then i would have easily been able to stay in contact, but i hoped she would regret it and come back. i never had my say and a year later wish i had because either way ive not seen nor heard from her yeah i still love her. she was my first proper everything but i love who she was and that person died a long time ago. its sad. its life. and i mean i cant just randomly have a go at her now, its been to long, it would be weird and not worth it because everything has changed anyway theres just no point. and that in itself is just annoying wow! that was exactly what i feared would happen. I really wanted to talk to you about this when I read what you're going through and think maybe you can help me. Okay, here is the thing. Me and my ex went out for two years and were best friends and each others everything (you know how that goes). Then I decide to go to Miami for a couple of weeks (we were having problems, he was being distant...i couldnt cancel the trip etc..) When I came back he was so distant so I decide to break up with him...then I start crying and tell him I just want him to be there...He says he wants us to break up and the reason why he's distant is because he has lost feelings but he reassures me there is no one else... Like a person who is hurting like crazy, I cry, beg and cry and apologize for God knows what..and just really make him feel like he's my everything..at first the break up was hard for him, but then he MOVED ON! Last time I called him, I was an emotional wreck (he has never seen me like that EVER) so he said "i didnt know how to handle you so emotional because i have never seen you like that and i dont know how to deal with it." So he acted cold and told me to move on and that we are not getting back....I never made him feel guilty for all the stuff he did to me..not even once did i show anger (that is built inside of me soooo strong now...i have intense feelings of resentment because i truly did not deserve such a COLD treatment) So he walked away feeling like he did nothing wrong...with all the crying and begging i did, and APOLOGIZING SAYING I WOULD CHANGE (He hurts me and im apologizing??????) I feel like I want him to call, to CARE for all the pain he caused me..but he doesnt...and i'm afraid if i call or write to him on myspace (WHICH HE WOULD NOT EVEN ACCEPT ME AS A FRIEND BECAUSE HE TALKS TO OTHER CHICKS) i feel like i'm only going to feel rejected and 10 times worse....but then living like this is ssooo crushing because he's always on my mind...i go from missing the old him to hating and wanting to scream at the a**hole he turned into...he was SOOO SOOO different...he was one of those guys that were sweethearts the "nice" guys....now he has become a jerk to ME....the one that loved him....sorry this is so long...but i feel like i can relate to you and wonder maybe you can help me with some advice....im 20 by the way...he is 22
smiiiley Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 when i look backa t the relationship he did things wrong and so did i..i get that..were all humans...but he kept everythign inside until one day he lost the love and walked away without caring about my feelings.........i'm not even going to get into it but so much happened after the break up that made me feel like SH*T....it was terrible and confusing...he had sex with me and told me he cared about me soooo much and would never walk out of my life completely....then he treated me like crap and told me his life was fine without me......he broke me apart and i never got a say in it....i feel so dumbbbb....and yet i still love him and miss him soooo much.....i cant separate the two......who he was with who he is...i still hope that guy who cared about me is still inside of him.....i still want him to talk and care for me...i still long for him....... does it ever end???
Surfer Dude Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Hey Smiiiley, don't be depressed. You're gonna be fine, you know that right? Your ex sounds extremely immature and lacking responsibilty towards people around him. He can't even handle himself, how could he handle his partner's problems. If he runs away at the first sign of your problems, then he's definitely not ready for a serious relationship. The whole "I don't know how to deal with you" is a really lame excuse to break someone's heart. You lost nothing but an immature and irresponsible man, but you have the chance to gain everything by being with someone who is going to treat you right. My ex fiance cheated on me and dumped me for another man, I was a total wreck for months. But then I realized I don't have to grieve after someone so selfish, she doesn't deserve that. If someone dumps you for their own selifsh reasons, they don't deserve any attention from us anymore, let alone contact.
Author Peter_pan Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 yeah smiley i know what you mean, she broke my heart and was the one going off into another relationship so soon and I was the one apologizing etc being needy to get her back. and yeah im not saying i didnt have my faults as i did. like you stated we are all human! and he reason he is giving you the cold treatment is maybe because he dosnt know how to handle it since its his first break up to? so there for does not know what if feels like to be broken or he cares about you soo much that he decided to distant himself from you because he is scared of you and your emotions and dosnt want to hurt you more. you did the right thing by not having a go, you cant "make" someone care for you or apologise if they feel they did nothing wrong! when i went NC because i knew what was going on, when i called i said "so is this how you want things to be between us" meaning not talking to one another and her going off like with him and instead of her apologizing she said "what you not speaking to me" so i said !! its a bit bloody hard for me isnt it, you have a new BF (dumb B**ch) ugh i just hoped she wouldnt have stayed with him and come back to me, but she didnt and thats what i have to deal with. but what annoys me more is that when i have reached out i got blanked. because she is with him. her bm said to me when i asked her would ther be any reason for her to be ignoring me, she said, she dosnt want to talk about him to anyone esp not her ex. they broke up but i thnk there good now. that reallllly pisssed me off how long ago did you split with him?
Surfer Dude Posted December 19, 2008 Posted December 19, 2008 Peter, your problem is not that your ex dumped you and went away with someone else. It's some deeper issue existing inside you, she didn't create this extreme grief and obsession inside you, it must've been there even before, waiting to be triggered by some external event. I'm sorry if this sounded harsh (NHF), but I'm really trying to be honest with you. What do you think you'll achieve by repeatedly going over these matters in your mind? You are keeping yourself a prisoner of your past. She is not doing that to you, you are. Why are you doing this to yourself? Bro, you gotta do yourself a favor and let it go. There are other women in this world.
Author Peter_pan Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 if it is some other issue then what is it? i am angry because i wasnt who i should have been towards the end, yes i wanted out i wont lie. but to never be with her again or speak to her no. i never wanted that. she created this. it wasnt my fault it hurt me so much i couldnt speak to her. or allow her to speak to me as if all is well when it wasnt. i moved away from friends and family, got so stressed by the whole ordeal that i developed ocd and that turned me into a wuss tbh. i dont know why i am keeping my self a prisoner of my past. it hurts me. i know im hurting myself. what else can i do. ive tried to move forward but cant
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