Here comes the 'anger' stage

[Sari]

Last night I finally got around to unpacking some of my stuff after moving out of the home I shared with my ex. I'm now living in the spare room in the home of my sister and her bf. The room was a tip til last night, typical spare room jazz, old exercise bike, clothes waiting to be taken to the charity shop, fold-out bed, obviously very depressing and a far cry from the domestic bliss I have had for the past year. And I began to get angry.

 

I tried so hard to make our relationship work. I have quite bad commitment issues and also anxiety/depression problems, which would often result in feeling numb or down about my relationship, or panicky and anxious. I almost gave in to the feelings a couple of times, told my ex I was feeling bad, maybe we should finish, but every time I stayed strong and fought for our wonderful relationship because I knew this was the man I wanted to marry, and depression and anxiety could take a flying leap. I got counselling, stopped drinking and smoking weed, did exercise to boost my mood, tried yoga to relax me, ate right and got early nights, pumped myself full of vitamins and suppliments. I tried EVERYTHING.

 

Then this selfish SOB just turns round and says "You know what? I don't feel like I used to. Sorry. See ya." 3 years of love, trust and commitment down the drain. What did he try to do to rectify the situation? Well, he bottled it all up for months, blurted it all out one morning and f*cked off for a start. Then he told me he'd made too much of a big deal of the issue and please could he come home. I tell him he needs to get some counselling, and he agrees. He goes for one session, rings me straight after to tell me he loves me, then never goes again. His reason? "The therapist was asking me all these questions about you and us and I though, hang on, you don't know my gf and you don't understand how wonderful she is or how much I love her, our relationship is special and you are asking all these stupid questions about trivial stuff, screw this, I don't need therapy". Unfortunately I was naive enough to think that this meant everything would be ok. He continued to drink heavily and smoke weed, get late nights, started to clam up again, bam, 2 months later and we're broken up, and I'm living out of bin-liner bags on a camp bed.

 

So basically he did NOTHING. I did EVERYTHING. I'm not saying I was a perfect gf, far from it, and he was a very good bf for the most part, but as soon as it came to actually viewing our partnership as something adult and 'real' with real problems that need to be faced together as grown-ups, he does a runner. I'm disgusted with him for being such a wimpy little coward and running away. We discussed marriage and kids all the time, he swore he loved me and would never leave me, never felt like this about anyone before, blah blah, right up until the final break-up. But as soon as the initial 'spark' dies down and he is left with just affection, commitment, trust, friendship and strong love, he doesn't want to know. What a f*cking baby. He is 31 YEARS OLD. He has ruined my life, taken my home, ruined my christmas, broken my heart, broken my trust in men and love, basically left me a shell.

 

Somebody on here said that no one wants to work on love anymore. Well I did, but unfortunately it takes two, and if you are stuck with a 'romantic' ie a fantasist who dreams of fairytale endings and runs away at the first hurdle, then you are fighting a losing battle.

 

Sorry for the rant, and all bad language.

[EmperorR]

It's all good, I liked the anger stage it takes your ex of the pedastool and shows you how much faults they have. Let it out let it out.

[LouiseC]

I just read this - wow he sounds just like my ex.

 

We can just take from this that hopefully they end up cold and alone! I certainly believe in Karma, what goes around comes around - both my ex, and yours (and other b@stards and bitches who've done the dirty) will get what's coming to them.

[trueblue72ny]

I am afraid of the anger stage. I have not got to mine yet.