guy.lepage Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 I've known at least 2-3 girls who openly say that if they could start things over, they would not be with the same guy. Is it me or is this a really strange statement?
D-Jam Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Some people make mistakes. They get into things with someone and realize they might not feel the way they thought they did, or this person turns out to not be the person they thought. It happens. Only time I think it's silly is when someone gets into a RL, things go sour, but they stay in for a long time, and then say they regret it...but are still with this person. That or those who get into a RL with a great person, but then lust more to be single or think there is a "bigger better deal" and thus regret getting involved. Too many people out there who settle for the sake of "having someone" and/or always thinking there is some better thing out there.
MN randomguy Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 I think its a matter of building an emotional attachment and then realizing intellectually that its never going to work. They're just afraid to go through the inevitable pain of a break-up. It skind of like an elective surgery. You know you're eventually gong to have to get your wisdom teeth out, you know its good for you, you're trying to avoid it.
Trialbyfire Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 While each relationship is an experience, some are lessons in pain and what not to do, whether they're your own personal actions or the actions of someone else. On the otherhand, without these difficult lessons, how do you learn what to avoid or what not to do, next time? I wish there was a way to put on a thinking cap, one that transmits all of life's lessons directly to you. This way you flow through life without hurt or scars. Maybe that's my new career in life. Finding a way to create one.
Gremio Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 This way you flow through life without hurt or scars. You aren't living life if you aren't subjected to pain at least a few times.
Trialbyfire Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 You aren't living life if you aren't subjected to pain at least a few times. That's because we have to take this spin, since we have no choice. If I could flow through life without pain, I would take the blue pill.
Vertex Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 We often have to take risks to get what we want in life -- and with great risk comes great potential upside as well as great potential downside. We could, alternatively, play it safe and close to home, but things would likely be quite uneventful. People have regrets when they often take a risk that didn't pay out in the way they had hoped Some people, upon realization of their regret, will break things off and look elsewhere for happiness. Others have become invested in the relationship so far that it's too difficult to pull out without a lot of damage being done. I would say that it's not so strange for girls to be saying that, but rather it's unfortunate that we, as people, can be pretty risk-averse. Many would prefer the status quo of a crappy, regrettable relationship than the uncertainty of a disastrous breakup and unknown future. Regardless, part of learning life is, unfortunately, making mistakes. We don't know the hot bed of coals burns us until we walk over it. Even when we warn others not to walk over it, some people simply have to experience it for themselves to really understand what to avoid. Others feel as if they are somehow exceptional and can handle the burn, or won't get burned at all. In any case, it would be nice to go through life without pain, but unfortunately, pain is an effective teacher and tells us what to avoid. We can't always understand all the warnings around us, and we can't go through such a long life journey without getting bumped and bruised a few times by what life has to offer. In short, some people are content with regret as long as it means they don't have to walk over those coals. Others are much more willing to walk, whether it be because they've handled the burn before and know how to better deal with it, or because they're willing to endure the burn for the prospect of something better.
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