twrtwn Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 We had a great (from both sides - I am confident) relationship for 1 1/2 yrs. Introduced by my brother. Good, stable divorced man married 23 years, divorced 6 but a really devastating divorce. Was faithful and always has been with me too. I really trusted his honesty - if you didn't want the truth, don't ask him. I am also divorced for a while. I am the only woman who has "stuck" since he's ben divorced. He dated around but said nobody special. Have had very few arguements. He is also stuborn and never says he's sorry - I always have to call and patch things up. he doesn't like confrontation. e told me he loved me here and there but told me from the start he wasn't comfortable saying those things. Not a mushy kinda guy. Very rough, tough construction worker (although at times I told him I liked to hear it and at times he said it). Family & friends love him and me and have been told we are so meant for each other - can tell we are so good for each other. His buds & family said they never have seen him so happy. He has tons of sporting hobbies which I have never stood in the way of. I am independent too with interests and career of my own. Space has been no problem. See each other almost every Sat. afternoon through Sunday afternoon since we met and he wanted that (we both did). The only problems have been distance 1.25 miles and he never minded - until 3 weeks ago. e and a few really lame reasons for ending it. I think, because I talked about the future a few times in the last 6 mo. I questioned how we may resolve the distance issue someday down the line. He always would respond that he doesn't know and he doesn't like to think about something he can't fix yet. I even figured out a good plan I discussed with him one night and he hugged me and kissed me and smiled, like he was not upset - I only brought the future questions up a few times but he would get uncomfortable and tell me, "Do you know how we'll end up?" or "who knows what will happen", (I really don't want or need to get married again which everyone here should know - no pressure there - I told him from the start I don't need that but don't want to end up an old lady alone or go on with someone for years and years only for them to be playing me- which he understood and always said if it came up..."I'm still here, aren't I?"). Anyway...out of the blue, he ended it - on the phome after a week of not calling me or seeing me.. Using the distance as the main reason and also, he told me from the start he wasn't comfortable saying "I love you" or expressing sentiment. And he said I always wanted to change him when I wanted hi to say that. He said, due to distance, what if there ws a snow storm (we dealt with that last year) and that he is handy and can repair things for me but he's not 5 minutes away if I need help. he said I am th emost awesome person he has met and I am thoughtful and kind and clean and sexy as all hell, that's why this is so hard. I don't get it and am very hurt and shocked. is it the fear they talk about with men? Is he emotionally unavailable and running scared? Or is he just happy being a single guy with a simple guy life that doesn't want that disrupted? I really think he loved me althoug at times he got irritated with me and people in general. His brother had to move in with him due to health and financial issues which has been stressful to him. Also the hoilidays last year created some "depression" like things with him and we didn't see each other (due to distance, his mood and plans & family comitments) all Christmas season until after New Years and here we are again....at the holidays. I am in No Contact right now and plan to stay that way. I am hurt, have been a wonderful GF and friend, have been there for him and loved him and done thoughtful things and been loyal but this is bullsh*t. I'm pissed. Is this a case of fear,due to his hurtful marriage, he be a man in fear or getting too and want to break off because he was getting to close or I was. What are your thoughts? I really appreciated readin Lost in ChGo's article. Please....does a man like this ever repond to NC?
pollywolly Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 I'm sorry.I don't have much advice as I am going through something very similar. Just wanted to say hang in there. Mine has responded somewhat to NC; I can at least tell that he is lonely and missing me a bit. Someone will be along shortly that will hopefully give you some insight.
Author twrtwn Posted December 17, 2008 Author Posted December 17, 2008 Thank Pollywolly for your support and thoughtful response. I hope your situation works out the best for you! Take care and take car eof your heart!
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