Tomcat33 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 4. I'm about done, I think Im going to cancel my account. I can pay $30/month to not get responses or dates on my own. Wait a minute, this caught my attention. You say you are on a paid site well many years ago when I tried internet dating I was on a paid site initially and as a woman I didn't pay. I couldn't jusfy it especially since I was not all that serious about being there. I just found ways to cheat the system and get in touch with men via a plan b I never paid a single cent to be on there LOL anyway the point I am trying to make is, you may not be getting answers because women are not paid members. A lot of those sites you have to pay to be able to respond to emails. What you might want to do, is give the following a try before you call it quits: take out a special email address just for your online dating and include the addy in your outgoing message that way if the woman wants to get in touch she will email you there.
Viking Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I posted on craigslist and have had pretty decent results for writing something up without planning it out much. I made a special email address for myself so that I didn't gunk up my primary and just went from there. I described what I liked, hobbies, my personal beliefs etc. I put that I wasn't looking for a girlfriend, but said instead that I was wanting to just meet people and see where it goes from there (implied dating ). So far I've gotten a few responses from people who go to my college, one who is looking for friends right now because she lost some when she broke up with her BF, another who is looking to date and is graduated and never used craigslist, but said my posting was interesting. I responded to a posting that was on there too (she's a vegetarian, pierced and tattooed-not my type), but she required a pic before she'd even respond. Well, I didn't even include a pic but she sent a response and asked for one because she liked what I had to say. Words are key it seems.
Bells Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Well, don't give up right away. Yes, as a woman- 30-40 mails a day is average. I respond to perhaps one mail in 100?? All women have different things they look at. For me, it's pictures at first... it's spelling second. Me responding to a guy that says "your hot" instead of "you're hot"... is an issue. It just is. You'll find a match. Keep your account active. Why are you paying? Do plenty of fish. It's free. www.plentyoffish.com Yeah, stick to the free sites....however, even on the FREE sites, I get the same results...little or no response. You'd be suprised how many women in the "My Matches" section that I've emailed that ignored me. lol Also, I see pretty much the same FACES of the single women on different dating sites....that are STILL chronically single...and of course, those said women ignored me. I kind of chuckle seeing them STILL on there and having not met anyone yet....even after YEARS of being on dating sites...I've seen a couple of women from 10 years ago. What's funny is....the women that actually COMPLAIN in their profile after having had their ad up for a while..... Some *Update* their profiles to express how all they meet are a88holes on these datings sites that have played her, and how she's "given up" on online dating.......then deletes her profile, and a week later she puts up a new one, as if nothing has ever happened. Of course, she's ignored my emails. Another woman actually was coaxing men to email her...I think one stated that she, "Well, I'm getting ready to take my ad down, gentleman, because I'm tired of the online dating scene....so email me while you still can!!" I'm like "Well, you probably wouldn't meet jerks and a**sholes if you at least gave me a shot by joining me for lunch. You'd be suprised how many women I have emailed within my 50 mile geographic area that have ignored me. I actually think I've reached the end of the line...and that there is actually a FINITE amt of single women I have emailed. lol Another thing is, I live in a rather rural area about an hour outside a big city....then I'd spot a woman living about .....5 mins from where I live.....had one actually play me...she actually lived in a neighborhood RIGHT across from mines. lol But she wouldn't meet up with me for coffee or lunch because she "wasn't ready" yet to meet. Thought it was a shame because she lived within walking distance. lol I prefer the real world social life....women actually will flirt, listen and date you. Thing about real world...the woman at the refreshment table or social gathering has to listen to you while you talk to her.lol There's no delete button in real life.
Viking Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I prefer the real world social life....women actually will flirt, listen and date you. Thing about real world...the woman at the refreshment table or social gathering has to listen to you while you talk to her.lol There's no delete button in real life. And in real life, they can't just "click" on some hot guy who isn't giving them any attention. They like the real world attention...
Shnuggles Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I had a good read here and I could give some info I believe... 1. Don't treat online dating as a main source of hooking up with someone. For me, its a thing I do after work and have fun with it. 2. Don't worry too much about the $30\month. Go out on the town can cost a LOT more. Plus, if you do find someone that $30 looks pretty small really. 3. Some online dating services are a joke and have plenty of fake people. Stick to the more popular sites (which I think you have). Lots of scammers out there! 4. Photos that have plenty of colour and good contrast between colours seem to stick out more. For example, laying on the grass with a big smile. The green looks good against skin and other strong coloured clothing. Make sure you smile and you're having fun in the photos. 5. Take a break. Play online for a month then take a month off. Should be some new faces by then and gives you a chance to touch up your profiles. 6. Have a hobbie? Join a club where you can meet people with the same interest. These can be very male populated unfortunately but they are out there. I can contact people for free on RSVP.com. I send 'kisses' to the ladies and they can send a kiss back if interested. Only costs money to send an email. I like it anyway.
edinsvet Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 3% is not bad. How long does it take to send a few hundred messages. If you are fast you can do it in a few hours. Send 300 messages out and you will have 10 girls writing you. What is wrong with that? That is probably more than you can handle.
BobSacamento Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 I think the problem is that there are a limited amount of women in people's areas. So if you send out a 100 you pretty much maxed out the people. But you continue to see the same people that you emailed on that haven't responded to you. I'm not sure if they are nervous to mail back or they are weeding out other guys to get to you. Rarely do they delete my messages, they usually leave them "read". What are the good free sites BTW?
SingleAgain08 Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 just my two cents -- I've done online dating off and on for a year and a half. When I get an email from a man I think might be a good match for me, I will email back within a day or two. I do like a little emailing back and forth before setting up a date, but if the emailing goes on for more than a week and the guy has not asked me on a date, I end it. It does not have to be fancy date -- coffee or drinks is perfectly acceptable. My feeling is that you really need face-to-face time with someone to see how you feel, and I don't want to invest my time in a ton of emailing with someone I haven't met. Also, I think that if a guy does not set up date relatively quickly, I have to assume he either lacks initiative or just isn't really that interested. So don't wait too long to set up a date for fear or coming on too strong -- if the girl likes you she will be eager to meet you in person and won't be weirded out that you asked.
WendE Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Unlike most people on this forum (it seems) I am a HUGE fan of online dating. I just know too many great people who are trying it. Which means there are great people to be found. I mean, if you find yourself on an online dating site than why couldn't the person you are looking for be there too? My own, personal, bits of advice for success in online date: 1) Put up a great photo of yourself. Personally, I think black & white photos can be sexy. And they stand out from the crowd. 2) Choose an online dating site that matches your style. I think this is absolutely critical. I was an a lame, and wrong for me, online dating site for a long time and that was not a good experience at all. So what dating site should you be on? I don't know you well enough to say. But maybe this could help: The Best Online Dating Site For You (Note: I have nothing at all to do with that website. I just think it has the most objective, most "human," least commercial review of the online dating options out there). 3) When you come across someone online you are interested in send a personalized, funny (if you can) email. Absolutely make sure you ask two or three questions that pertain specifically to that person! Often it happens that I get an online dating email and have no idea what to write back. So I don't. If you ask an open question (eg. not a yes/no question) about a subject that the person really cares about you'll almost always get a reply back. Hope that helps. And good luck!
bozwa Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 You know, just when I was about to give up, say I've had enough...the love of my life emailed me. Something told me to open his email, something told me to respond...against my better judgement (I'd met some real doozies off of those websites). We've now been together for exactly 2 years. It can happen. When you least expect it, it can still happen. When I finally stopped trying so hard, it happened.
Perry Posted December 31, 2008 Posted December 31, 2008 Sorry, BCCA, but if you got that low of a rate, you are doing something wrong. I met my now girlfriend through PlentyOfFish, and without a picture. Granted, I'm a motivational speaker and instructor for singles, so I know what I am doing, but that isn't the point. ... It isn't that hard to meet people, both off and online. Don't blame online dating. Oops, never mind. It seems you have met someone. heh http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t174772/
Author BCCA Posted December 31, 2008 Author Posted December 31, 2008 Sorry, BCCA, but if you got that low of a rate, you are doing something wrong. I met my now girlfriend through PlentyOfFish, and without a picture. Granted, I'm a motivational speaker and instructor for singles, so I know what I am doing, but that isn't the point. ... It isn't that hard to meet people, both off and online. Don't blame online dating. Oops, never mind. It seems you have met someone. heh http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t174772/ I don't have problems meeting people, online dating is just lame, I'm sorry. If youre getting people with no pic, you must be some motivational speaker, because I've tried, believe me, and I have a pic. Perhaps you can let me in on these magical words youre using? As for sending 100 emails a day, LOL!!! There isnt even 100 girls in a 25 mile radius of my house that I would go out with on any of these sites. I've tried 4 now, and generally, it's the same people on all of them. I would guess there about 60-70, and I've emailed most of them without getting a response. Maybe it works for some of you, but not for me. To each their own...
Perry Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 If online dating is "lame," why did you start this thread? Just don't do it. And correct me if I am wrong, but didn't you say that you have problems meeting women? Well, anyway, good luck out there.
edinsvet Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 There isnt even 100 girls in a 25 mile radius of my house that I would go out with on any of these sites. I've tried 4 now, and generally, it's the same people on all of them. I would guess there about 60-70, and I've emailed most of them without getting a response. Maybe it works for some of you, but not for me. To each their own... Where the hell do you live, Remind me not to move there!
Posco_Proudfoot Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Funny enough on this subject, I was pretty much giving up and in 2 days I've talked to 2 different girls. Both had contacted me first.
Author BCCA Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 Where the hell do you live, Remind me not to move there! I live in the 1st or 2nd largest city in CA. Im also in my mid twenties, and am not interested in anyone more than 5-6 years older than me. You would surprised how many women my age do not go the online route. I believe its great for people in their mid thirties and older, but just not for me. Perry, enough man. The thread is called the frustrations of online dating, not "online dating is awesome". I tried it out as ANOTHER means of meeting women, and dont like it. Not all of us are online dating all stars like yourself who get models with no picture...
birdie Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 I've never actually got as far as setting up a date online because seeing the photos of those poor, hopeful, lonely guys depressed the hell out of me. I've never seen anything so soul-destroying in my life
Perry Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 *chuckles and rolls eyes* Ok, BCCA, whatever you say.
Author BCCA Posted January 1, 2009 Author Posted January 1, 2009 *chuckles and rolls eyes* Ok, BCCA, whatever you say. Are you here to give advice or to brag? I think its great that youre an online guru and get women left and right, but it hasnt worked out that way for me, and I'll stick with the old fashioned way. Whats your point here?
Perry Posted January 1, 2009 Posted January 1, 2009 Ugh. Does this guy whine like this a lot? Maybe it is that time of the month. I don't know.... BCCA, I think I know part of your problem. You're an overly-emotional Tiffany. But it's ok. Here's a tissue. Now go sit down somewhere and relax. Everything will be ok.
Tony Posted January 2, 2009 Senior Moderators Posted January 2, 2009 No more sarcastic, discourteous, off topic or other guideline-violating posts will be tolerated in this thread. Please kindly post helpful, constructive information or simply don't post at all. Many thanks for your kind cooperation!
mclovin Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Online dating is just another option of how to meet people. It's hit or miss, like any other approach. Eventually, you're going to meet someone special. Give it time, it'll happen
ruggy Posted February 18, 2009 Posted February 18, 2009 Here's what I do. Read the profile. Ask a few questions about it in an e-mail and ask if they would like to chat some time. Mixed results. So woman also think their s-h-i-t don't stink so it can take some time. This one woman I e-mailed and she revisits my profile every couple of days. Very strange. Hard to figure out the nut cases though.
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