alwayssme Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 My ex has called me frequently lately...brief short conversations but thats beyond the point...At times he says he has to go, then last night I said I had to go...The conversations are nothing more then "Hi, how's it going?" but regardless....Please read below and tell me if im being paranoid and what should i do... I'm having a problem though or maybe I'm just being very paranoid. I have a friend (he is JUST a friend and won't be anything more than that)...but the problem is that in the past i used to really like him and i was with him right before i met my ex). I wont get into details but complications happened in my relationship because of him and my ex doesnt like this guy. Now that I talk to the guy again (we have mutual friends so my ex probably knows about it), I'm afraid that my ex might get mad at me and stop talking to me. I'm afraid he'll hear lies about me messing with the guy (either from the guy or random people) or that he'll just automatically assume so. Then I feel like any shot of us getting back will be ruined by this. Why am I feeling like this? Is it because my ex has been calling me? I feel like I'm being so paranoid to the point that I want to call my ex and ask him to hang out and actually tell him that i talk to the guy but were JUST friends and nothing more. Also my ex used to hear lies about me cheating on him with this guy and I don't want him to start having doubts and think wrong of me. HE would NEVER confront me, he would just completely cut off contact and think im "messed up". I have hurt him badly in the past (years ago) so his trust is broken although i tried my hardest to rebuild it. Gosh, I sound crazy overthinking about all this. He told me loud and clear WE ARE NOT GETTING BACK and he no longer is in love with me!! so why do I have this gut feeling like he's going to change his mind but something will get in the way and he won't even try? and i'll never know about it? I just have this very weird gut feeling... How do I deal with this? Do I call him and somehow bring up this guy without making myself sound crazy and paranoid? lol...ughhh! i hate drama and knowing the same people sucks...esp. when some of his friends are your enemies and tried to break us up...What do I do???
alone_confused Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 WOW slow down! lol. You are putting yourself in a state of panic, and for what? an ex? come on now, it is none of his concern or business who you are friends with, who you sleep with or if you want to be a topless dancer I don't now what to say, he left you, told you plan and clear that you are never going to get back together, so why are you even talking to him, and why does his opinion even matter to you anymore?, That gut feeling you have, i have too, its not a gut feeling as such, its Hope, but at what point do we say enough is enough, why the hell should we wait around in hope that they might change their minds, are we that worthless? is that all we deserve? they aren't that damn fantastic when you look at the bigger picture. I say let him be upset, i say let him be jealous, who cares what he thinks anyway, you shouldn't;t have to explain anything to him anymore, i know its not that easy but it is the truth, i say go NC.
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