complication Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 so im not sure if im allowed to be in contact with you or if you even care about hearing from me...but i do want to wish you a happy 21st birthday!!! its a milestone and its definitely exciting. hope all your exams went/are going well and have a great holiday break!She dumped me after 1 year after "lost feelings". I tried to fight for it, futile, said she missed me but not in that way. Ignore her for 2 months. Messages me on Halloween, I ignore it. 3 weeks later at a party, she flirts with me, I go for a kiss bue she backs off - says "i'm not lovey dovey". She decides to walk home with me, I tell her "i have no feelings for you, I never want to get back with you, and have been dating". She said she hasn't been dating, seemed taken back when I said I didn't want her back ever, and she said she messaged me to see if I'd respond. I ignore her for 3 more weeks, tell her in person "we can be civil in passing", then ignore her more. She sent me that above message on Facebook 4 months after we broke up, day before my birthday. It seems too friendly. I want her back, so I decided to respond with the following 5 days after.. thanks for the wishes. it was unbealivable. watcha doin this break?
Geishawhelk Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 It seems as if really, if you're angling to get back with her, even though she seemed to back off, and you made it clear that you didn't want to get back with her ever. So your thread question is really not relevant, is it? What would be more relevant, is to ask whether we actually know what's going on here (no) and whether we think it will work (no).
Author complication Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 It seems as if really, if you're angling to get back with her, even though she seemed to back off, and you made it clear that you didn't want to get back with her ever. So your thread question is really not relevant, is it? What would be more relevant, is to ask whether we actually know what's going on here (no) and whether we think it will work (no). I've been putting up a front, I suppose equivalently to what she has. If I want to rekindle, I have to be friendly first, hang out a few times. See how she reacts to me being flirty. She has'nt replied to this message yet today, so we'll see if she's trying to not seem anxious.
samspade Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 She's just checking in to see if she still has you on her little hook. Obviously, she still does. Go back to ignoring her, don't play her game.
Author complication Posted December 16, 2008 Author Posted December 16, 2008 She's just checking in to see if she still has you on her little hook. Obviously, she still does. Go back to ignoring her, don't play her game. What "hook"? My message back was purely friendly, nothing even remotely flirty.
samspade Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Responding at all means you're on her hook. You told her coldly "we can be civil in passing" and now you're asking her her plans over break (read: let's get together)? Maybe that wasn't your subtext, but she may see it that way, which is why it's better not to respond. Dumpers (especially females) love to check in and see that they can still get their ex's attention, for two reasons. One, they like the attention, and two, they feel better about having dumped them knowing that things are still "friendly." I think you had the right idea ignoring her. Waiting five days to respond was smart, too. But don't b.s. me, my friend. "Purely friendly, nothing even remotely flirty" - but you just said "I want her back so I decided to respond with..." See the incongruity? It's okay if you want her back, I know the feeling, but be honest about it.
Enema Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Agree with samspade. Making sure puppy still responds when she pretends she has food to give. Ignore her completely, and stay ignoring her.
CaliGuy Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 She tosses breadcrumbs until you take the bait. When you do, she disappears. This my friend is called a "game". If you don't want to play games with her, stop taking the bait.
nittanylion Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 She wants to keep you on a leash. Now, you can cut off the cord or continuing this negative attention. Its really your choice!
Cub Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 Damn, these guys stole my thunder. Anyway, with exes, a good rule is not to contact them until you no longer feel the desire to contact them. After that, it really doesn't matter.
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