pixies 80 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 without sounding totally neurotic and out of my mind: is the use of the phrase "i love you" THAT important? on one hand, i think it should definitely be expressed when both parties are ready. but on the other hand, i feel that phrase is overused and doesn't necessarily define the relationship. my current relationship has been about 7 months. in those 7 months we have had more ups and down than we'd like to admit. but we've always resolved them and effortlessly regained joy within the relationship. i've met his family (which in his words, is a big deal for him) and all of his closest friends. we're overall very happy aside from both of us being pretty emotional people who are both being faced with problems on an external standpoint. the thing that irks me a little bit is the use of phrases such as "i heart you", "you're my love", etc. it just seems a bit juvenile to me especially coming from a 30 year old man. what gives? does he love me and doesn't want to say it yet in fear of rejection? or is that just a cutesy way of expressing you general "like" for the other person? another thing: he always asks me if i hate him. wtf is that? when i tell him that's a silly question he says he was kidding around and of course he knows i don't hate him. but when he asks it, he definitely doesn't look like he's kidding. a friend said he's waiting for me to say "i don't hate you, i love you!" ugh. would a man really try to trick someone into saying it?
Ross PK Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Don't mean to make you feel bad, but I had an online relationship once, and the girl used to do exactly the same two things, except for saying she was just joking, since I never asked her about that. She ended up finishing me for no reason, she tried to make me look bad and completely cut me off, I never heard from her again.
oceangrl Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 I don't think its that important as long as he shows you that he loves you through his actions. A guy can say i love you so many times, but it really means something when you can feel that he loves you without words. Its that look they give you....and you just know. That to me, is more valuable.
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 I hate to disagree, but...if he hasn't said "I love you" straight out by 7 months...he isn't in love with you. Time to cut bait.
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Perhaps he is afraid if he says 'I love you' then things will change between you and he is happy with things the way they are. I suspect he may also be afraid that if he says it, then he will be expected to produce an engagement ring within a certain amount of time. Maybe the hate thing is a trick, and he is wanting you to say 'I love you' first? Dunno. Sounds like its time to have a talk about it and clear the air.
LovieDove24 Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Meet 4 coffee: I have to agree with you. Seven months is quite a long time to just date someone and not say I love you. I think it means he is still not quite there yet. On a more positive note...it can take a man years to realize and verbalize what a good thing he has in front of him. Question is, are you willing to wait?
zdheat Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 From your post I think it's obvious he's not going to say it first. He's waiting for you to say it.
Shygirl15 Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 I recently discovered that people have different meanings to the words "I love you", so perhaps in his own definition, he doesn't love you, yet.
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