Bells Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 ....they know you can't touch them with a 10-foot pole? And I'm sure they know this as well? I dunno, I have had some married women flirt with me, or be extra nice to me to the point where it could get awkward (but not too naughty)....but I found this with women who are married. And they know, that WE single men know that we can't touch them. Basically saying, if they were single, they wouldn't be flirting otherwise? Just something I've noticed NOT swayintg they ar trying anything
Dexter Morgan Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 ....they know you can't touch them with a 10-foot pole? Who says? They are seeking attention and if they flirt with you, you'd be able to, if the circumstances were right, have them if you wanted.
movingonandon Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Who says? They are seeking attention and if they flirt with you, you'd be able to, if the circumstances were right, have them if you wanted. That is true. NO woman, no matter how happily married is un-winnable (even if she does not invite it, which is the opposite of what you're dealing with). Basically any guy can have any woman if he does the right things in the right circumstances. So that's not the issue. The issue is do you really want to be the scumbag that could likely ruin 2 peoples lives? Basically, is it worth it? I'm not saing that it is not worth it sometimes, but this is probably in the minority of cases.
Author Bells Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 That is true. NO woman, no matter how happily married is un-winnable (even if she does not invite it, which is the opposite of what you're dealing with). Basically any guy can have any woman if he does the right things in the right circumstances. So that's not the issue. The issue is do you really want to be the scumbag that could likely ruin 2 peoples lives? Basically, is it worth it? I'm not saing that it is not worth it sometimes, but this is probably in the minority of cases. No it's not worth it...not at all....I think one is army wife with a hubby that's over seas. Dont' want to mess with that, I honor marriages.
Left in a Lurch Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 I get that all the time. Trust me, if you pursue it they will act on it. I used to think like you that they were doing it because it was totally safe for them, but now I think it might be more like they can justify it in their mind because they know you as a friend, and not just as some dude trying to get in their pants. I was seeing one married woman for a while and we were perfect for each other and had a little history but I had to end it because I didn't want to be that guy and although she said she wanted kids but would never have them with her husband, she was still married and it wasn't fair for anyone involved. I wouldn't push the envelope if I were you. But if she is totally hot and you can find a way to make her husband out to be a douche in your mind, then go for it. You save a lot of money on flowers and dinner, and you basically get great pent up frustration sex.
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 They do it because they want to feel attractive again, and feel that their H saying they are attractive 'doesn't count' because it is a subjective attraction. They want to feel that they are attractive in general, and not just because they are a 'wife' or 'mother'. If they were single, they would likely not be as secure and outrageously flirtatious because if all else fails at the end of the night, they at least have a H at home to go to. Married people don't have as much to lose ego wise as a single person. A single person who is rejected goes home alone. A married person isn't as concerned about rejection like that.
Jilly Bean Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Hiitsme, in all sincerity - have you been in prison for 15 years or something? I ask because you're in your mid-30's, yet your dating acumen is that of someone who is 13. I don't mean this as harsh as it appears, but the posts you make are constantly remedial questions about romance that any high schooler would know the answer to.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 No it's not worth it...not at all....I think one is army wife with a hubby that's over seas. And that is the worse kind of straying wife.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 They do it because they want to feel attractive again, and feel that their H saying they are attractive 'doesn't count' because it is a subjective attraction. They want to feel that they are attractive in general, and not just because they are a 'wife' or 'mother'. And a husband shouldn't have to put up with them going out and seeking attention from other men because the affections and words of their husband don't "count".
Trialbyfire Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 There's a line in the sand between lightly flirting and flirting with intent. If they start to make you uncomfortable, it usually means it's gotten to the latter, which can easily be shut down by giving them the death stare or with a few well placed insults.
Touche Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 You did get some good advice so I don't have much to add other than I wanted to call BS on this: That is true. NO woman, no matter how happily married is un-winnable (even if she does not invite it, which is the opposite of what you're dealing with). Basically any guy can have any woman if he does the right things in the right circumstances. That sounds like that propaganda they sell you on that sostupid site. Puhleeze. I may have made the mistake in the past of being too flirtatious but no way in a million years would I ever cheat on my H. I don't care what "tricks" the guy has...I wouldn't fall for them. No man is ever going to hold a candle to my H anyway. So it would be pointless for anyone to ever even try. Any guy can have any woman? :laugh: Too funny....and delusional as well.
motive2002 Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 no way in a million years would I ever cheat on my H. I don't care what "tricks" the guy has...I wouldn't fall for them. I sincerely hope that there's at least one more like you out there somewhere.
Touche Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 I sincerely hope that there's at least one more like you out there somewhere. Aww, thanks motive. I'm not perfect though. I've made mistakes. I'm insecure in certain ways and like to be physically admired. Old tapes from high school when I was an ugly duckling I guess, coupled with my advancing age....but no excuses. I'd never want to hurt my husband in any way, shape or form. He's a one in a million man. It kills me to see women crap all over the good ones. It's sad and they're fools if they think they're not treasures to be treasured and cherished. They're fools to think the good ones are all over the place. They're not. And I'm glad I didn't make more of a fool of myself than I already have. Live and learn.
movingonandon Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 You did get some good advice so I don't have much to add other than I wanted to call BS on this: That sounds like that propaganda they sell you on that sostupid site. Puhleeze. I may have made the mistake in the past of being too flirtatious but no way in a million years would I ever cheat on my H. I don't care what "tricks" the guy has...I wouldn't fall for them. No man is ever going to hold a candle to my H anyway. So it would be pointless for anyone to ever even try. Any guy can have any woman? :laugh: Too funny....and delusional as well. Honey, that's the way you feel *right now*. And if I was your husband I would have appreciated it very much but at the same time would have harbored no illusions that you would feel the same way 5 years from now (or five minutes from now, for that matter). I understand the pride you're feeling right now, and hope you keep it that way, but I've slept with a married woman who - i know for a *fact* - has felt the same way about her husband at some point. All it takes is the right mix of circumstances + "Being a gentleman 101" (and "Being a scumbag 101", but that's another issue ) So it's no propaganda. that's the way women are (and that's why we love them )
Touche Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Honey, that's the way you feel *right now*. And if I was your husband I would have appreciated it very much but at the same time would have harbored no illusions that you would feel the same way 5 years from now (or five minutes from now, for that matter). I understand the pride you're feeling right now, and hope you keep it that way, but I've slept with a married woman who - i know for a *fact* - has felt the same way about her husband at some point. All it takes is the right mix of circumstances + "Being a gentleman 101" (and "Being a scumbag 101", but that's another issue ) So it's no propaganda. that's the way women are (and that's why we love them ) Seriously, and with all due respect Moving...it's bull. I've been with my H for 14 years. We didn't just meet last week you know. We've been through so many things together. The kind of bond we have isn't likely to just go flying out the window you know? Not for us. Maybe for some people. There's no right "mixture of circumstance + being a gentleman 101" that would EVER make me cheat on my husband..none. Sorry but you're wrong. Besides, (hint, hint) some women see through that bullshyt. You're not fooling anyone with that Don Juan nonsense. It never even worked on me when I was single so it certainly wouldn't ever fly while I'm married! But yeah, whatever...if you think MOST women are "winnable" whatever....You sure don't know any women like me then. Have fun with the easy ones!
Author Bells Posted December 16, 2008 Author Posted December 16, 2008 Hiitsme, in all sincerity - have you been in prison for 15 years or something? I ask because you're in your mid-30's, yet your dating acumen is that of someone who is 13. I don't mean this as harsh as it appears, but the posts you make are constantly remedial questions about romance that any high schooler would know the answer to. Well, I'm sorry that some of us aren't geniuses like you....but actually, this question is a bit more unique than my typical questions and actually, I think I've come a long way, because I haven't posted any of my typical questions, plus hadn't posted much here lately anyway. Why do you feel the need to talk down to people? OH, I forgot, this is a message board where you can feel at more liberty to say insulting things to people when you're not actually face-to-face with them.
Author Bells Posted December 16, 2008 Author Posted December 16, 2008 There's a line in the sand between lightly flirting and flirting with intent. If they start to make you uncomfortable, it usually means it's gotten to the latter, which can easily be shut down by giving them the death stare or with a few well placed insults. Well, she was sitting next to me, and she's like marking on my paper or making sacastic comments...but in a fun way. This was really unprovoked. I did a presentation on bears...and we got on this joke about bears and stuff.....then I was taking home some candy and said, "Well, I'm going to feed the bear" (meaning with the candy) In a sense, it feels good to have women flirt with you, but it would HELP if they were single....and single women usually don't flirt with me in such a manner. Why? Because this crap is working in the opposite. SINGLE women will have their friggin WALLS up, married women don't. lol It shouldn't be that way, but it does. And she goes, "So that's what you call it., lol" I was like ooookay....hubby's been overseas way too long.
Benique Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 flirt because ..... what ? You are uniting all married women under one cover . It`s always a mistake to unite all (does not matter whom)into one Big group,as every person is individual always . . . I am married for 26 years already , and I Do Not flirt . I use to talk a nice way,but the moment I notice,the conversation took some other direction , I become strict and cold . Though I Luv flirting ,but I find some other ways to do that (maybe online under a nickname so that no one knows its me ,me , me .... .....) and guess, not all women are winnable .
RecordProducer Posted December 17, 2008 Posted December 17, 2008 That sounds like that propaganda they sell you on that sostupid site. Puhleeze. I may have made the mistake in the past of being too flirtatious but no way in a million years would I ever cheat on my H. I don't care what "tricks" the guy has...I wouldn't fall for them. No man is ever going to hold a candle to my H anyway. So it would be pointless for anyone to ever even try. Any guy can have any woman? :laugh: Too funny....and delusional as well.Me thinks you protest too much! Just kidding. Well, not just ANY guy at least...
RecordProducer Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I just wanted to add something to this (great) topic. You guys talk about how and why some women would cheat, but I want to tell about the opposite: a woman who will NOT cheat is the woman who is in love with her husband and who is not treated like crap by him. (Of course, I exclude the women who will divorce their husbands before they cheat.) The husband doesn't have to be an angel, but as long as he is not severely mistreating her and is able to keep her in love with him - she will simply have no desire to cheat on him. Intentionally inhibiting your urge to cheat is only technically fidelity. Real, genuine fidelity is when you have no desire whatsoever to sleep with anyone else. Unfortunately, there are women who do sleep with other people just because they're not being treated nicely by the ones they love - even though they have no desire to sleep with anyone but their husbands. This, on the emotional level, is a more genuine type of fidelity, in my opinion. That's why placing the guilt onto the cheater is often a controversial issue; hence the many forgiven affairs.
Recommended Posts