She wants to take a break to straighten thing out and calm down

[A wanderer]

I'm back after a month! Ok my gf and I are still going out but we've never dated. We've met eachother at night and kissed and stuff but never gone to the movies or anything. So what do I do? She wants to take a break to straighten thing out and calm down. I am thinking that a nice dinner movie thing would work. So should i do that, something else, or let her be?

[PurpleAngel]

You guys done need to be entertained by seeing a movie, you need to communicate. Talk to each other!!!

 

Talk with her tell her how you feel, listen to what she has to say and then let her be after that. Its really up to her after that! Can't make someone want to stay or care for you for that matter!

 

Good Luck

~PurpleAngel~

[A wanderer]

She doesn't wanna break up. But I am lost because she's just confusing me. She says she needs a confidence boost and she wants this break to do so. Also, she wants this break to be like a year or two long but expects me not to date anyone else in the process. I don't know if I can do that. Should I dump her(which I don't wish to do), give her space(which I may not be able to bear), commit suicide(which isn't wise), or just like see if actual dating will fix it(which is what I do want to do). She's coming over tomorrow(sept. 14, 2003) so I'd like some help before she arrives.

[clia]

Color me confused. You are going out, but you've never dated? I do not understand this. Why have you not taken this girl on a date?

 

Also, she wants this break to be like a year or two long but expects me not to date anyone else in the process.

 

I'm rolling on the floor laughing. Please tell me you would not agree to this. This is INSANE.

 

Ask her if she wishes to date you properly, and if she does not, then break up with her. This is not a girlfriend--this is some kind of weird control freak.

[PurpleAngel]

She says she needs a confidence boost and she wants this break to do so.

I don’t understand why she needs a break to do this. It indicates to me that she doesn’t feel terribly happy in the relationship if she needs to get out of it to get a confidence boost!?!?!?! Something stinks here!

 

she wants this break to be like a year or two long but expects me not to date anyone else in the process.

Are you joking, this has to be a joke right? She has absolutely NO right to ask this and the fact that she is even asking says something very strong about her character, selfish! She is showing you NO love OR respect by saying this, ‘I want a break, but I want it to be for 2 years and by the way you cant see anyone else...’ WHAT THE....!!! No thanks! Let her go have her break my friend and MOVE ON!

 

 

Should I dump her(which I don't wish to do),

YES

 

give her space(which I may not be able to bear),

COMPLETELY!

 

commit suicide(which isn't wise),

What for? That’s just silly talk. Life’s too special to do a STUPID thing like that! I sure as hell wouldn’t want to leave this earth for someone who is totally ****ing with my head to miss out on my TRUE love and SOUL mate who is probably waiting for you around the corner!

 

just like see if actual dating will fix it(which is what I do want to do).

I understand you may have jumped into the relationship without actually taking the time to do the whole wine, dine and romance thing BUT I think its a VERY important part of the relationship. My mum always said, "the quicker something starts, the quicker it ends’ so let this be a lesson, TAKE YOUR TIME! Really get to know someone, otherwise they end up ****ing with your head like she is!

 

She's coming over tomorrow(sept. 14, 2003) so I'd like some help before she arrives.

Look in all honesty, no one can tell you what to do, but if someone said to me that they wanted a boost and needed to break up with you to do it, well that really says it all. I am sorry but that’s totally insulting! How old is she?

 

Honestly, if I where you I would talk to her one last time, if these are her terms I would MOST DEFINITELY not agree to them. Give yourself some self-respect. I have been through something similar and I DID NOT agree and you know after a little time he came back and said what a fool he had been. If you agree what will give her the motivation to get her crap together and come back??? This is the real test of your love, if she really wants and loves you she will do what she has to do quickly and come back. BUT having said this don’t hope that she does, but let whatever has to happen be and MOVE ON! This is the best thing you can do. She is looking after her business, you should do the same!!!

 

Good Luck

~PurpleAngel~

[A wanderer]

OK my thoughts are this we pretty much forget all that we've already done and see if we can relive our relationship. This way it works well. My mom also said it was fishy and that she must be joking. The joking part I am hoping for however the fishy part I'm not sure on. I just can't break up with her I can't. I love this girl way to much and I am not a normal guy. I treat her with as much respect as she gives me. She doesn't want a permanent break up either. What do I do? If I have to I will give her the 2 years break because I love her that much.

[jade2000]

Well I am going through the same thing with someone who wants a break and i love him also.