LiveandLearn Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Thought I should maybe start a new thread about this: Ideally, if I can qualify for a civil annulment, I would like to have one. We didn't get married in a church and neither of us are Catholic. From what I can gather online, adultery/infidelity technically does not qualify as grounds for an annulment, but I would possibly like to try. I haven't consulted a lawyer yet. Is there any way I can petition for an annulment/divorce but have HIM pay for everything? Are annulments cheap? I believe they take longer as well. We live in CA, so I think we may also qualify for something called Summary of Dissolution, which is suppose to be a faster and cheaper divorce. Any info or shared experience regarding annulments would greatly be appreciated.
melodymatters Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Sadly, annulmets are MUCH harder to get and usually more expensive ! I was with a guy 6 yrs, we got married and he had a nervous break down and left 2 weeks later ! My attorney suggested i just go with the divorce as it would be cheaper and quicker. The reasons I was told were valid for annnulment were: mental illness, lying about wanting to get married ( weird i know, but I guess if it was a 'joke' or something) and one of the parties lying about whether they wanted children or not. I was not going to get MR X to agree he was crazy or a liar, so i went with the divorce, but i often refer to it as an annullment, as that's what it was in my eyes ! good luck !
Trimmer Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 I don't know much about annulments vs. divorce, from the civil perspective. What is the difference, in terms of the real effect it has on your life, your legal status, etc?
Trialbyfire Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Maybe the lack of property division? I can see it being beneficial to someone who doesn't want to divide up marital property.
Trimmer Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Maybe the lack of property division? I can see it being beneficial to someone who doesn't want to divide up marital property. But if marital property exists, it has to be disposed of somehow, once the legal entity of the marital community is dissolved. So I don't think you can avoid the issue if there is community property. It's not like an annulment is likely to be simpler to do - my impression is that for a given marriage, an annulment can actually be more complicated to execute than a divorce, as you have to show that there was fraud, hidden mental illness, an inability to consummate the marriage, etc. It's kind of like they'll let anyone dissolve a marriage with divorce, but you have some things to prove and hoops to jump through just to meet the standard of getting an annulment. So I do know that the effective legal result of an annulment is that the marriage "never existed," as opposed to a divorce where the marriage is considered to have existed for some duration and then ended at a specific time. I'm just wondering what the practical difference is. Is it just an emotional thing, being able to tell yourself that you weren't really married at all, or having the court validate and justify the corruption in the marriage, something like that?
Trialbyfire Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 But if marital property exists, it has to be disposed of somehow, once the legal entity of the marital community is dissolved. So I don't think you can avoid the issue if there is community property. I can't argue intelligently about this issue, since it's not something I know anything about. Having said that, say one party is the major breadwinner and the other a SAHS, with no children. I would guess that anything acquired financially, for the duration of the marriage, belongs to the bread winner, no? A total, pull out of my arse guess. So plse, plse, dispute away. I do know that if there are children, things get more complex, with child support, etc. I think there might even be other aspects of support but whether that's similar to alimony, I don't know. Edit - I should add an addendum about cohabitation laws per jurisdiction, that could impact.
carhill Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 It really depends on the jurisdiction and the judge, as well as the time until the annulment is adjudicated. If this is into years and children and marital property is involved, the process can be as or more complex than a divorce, as both parties are returned to their former status, as if the marriage had never occurred. Sounds easy, but it's not Grounds for annulment typically involve one party's lack of capacity for marriage or some type of fraud. Unless the adultery/infidelity occurred at the time of the marriage and could be proven to be a fraudulent act in the commission of the marriage, that annulment boat will likely be pretty tough to row. Regarding summary dissolution: • Do not have children together • Were married for a short period of time • Do not own a lot of property • Do not have a lot of debt • Agree on how property and debts will be divided after marriage • Lived in California for the last 6 months • Lived in the county of filing for the last 3 months IANAL and heartily suggest you see one
Author LiveandLearn Posted December 16, 2008 Author Posted December 16, 2008 So I do know that the effective legal result of an annulment is that the marriage "never existed," as opposed to a divorce where the marriage is considered to have existed for some duration and then ended at a specific time. I'm just wondering what the practical difference is. Is it just an emotional thing, being able to tell yourself that you weren't really married at all, or having the court validate and justify the corruption in the marriage, something like that? For me, that would be my main motivation for getting an annulment, but it's starting to seem like it's not worth the trouble. Financially, we don't have much between us. We don't own a house/property. Just material things that can be easily divided. I just feel that my 5 month marriage doesn't, and shouldn't, even count as a real marriage. I sure as hell don't count it as one. I don't want to count it as one. I guess it's more of a pride/emotional issue. I don't think he deserves to be able to rightfully say he was ever married to me.
Diamonds&Rust Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 If you're seeking emotional validation from the courts, an annulment judge will be upset at you for wasting their time. You'll have your moment to bitch about him, but then you will have to accept that your case is a divorce case instead. You will then have to do it all over again in divorce court. That's not to say you can't seek an annulment. You just have to find grounds for an annulment, which usually involves proving that the marriage was in some way *never* valid to begin with.
Author LiveandLearn Posted December 16, 2008 Author Posted December 16, 2008 If you're seeking emotional validation from the courts, an annulment judge will be upset at you for wasting their time. You'll have your moment to bitch about him, but then you will have to accept that your case is a divorce case instead. You will then have to do it all over again in divorce court. That's not to say you can't seek an annulment. You just have to find grounds for an annulment, which usually involves proving that the marriage was in some way *never* valid to begin with. Christ, that is a lot more work than I care to do He has admitted to me that their EA started before we were even married. But even then, I guess that's not really grounds for an annulment.... Our best bet is to just file a petition for Summary of Dissolution. I know I absolutely can not afford a lawyer right now. And it's not like we have much to divide between us, other than furniture. We don't own a house or property or have children. This is all too stressful. My heart goes out to all those that had/have to go through this sh*t
carhill Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Contact a legal clinic or divorce mediator and discuss your options. Either is generally much less costly than engaging a private attorney. The only upside I've seen is my lawyer (non-divorce-related) takes credit cards so I get free trips (mileage credit card) out of his legal advice The critical factor IMO is both parties approaching the subject in a calm and unemotional way. MC helped myself and my wife a lot in this regard. Personally, I think I needed the help more than she did. She'd tell you this
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