Dating Little Miss Trouble

[Green]

The girl who I have been dating is pretty, and fun, just an all around cool girl. Oh yeah except for all the trouble and drama she brings into my life. First off it seems like she has nothing but guy friends in fact I've determined she has more close guy friends then I do. Secondly she goes to grad school with me and just dating her has caused me enemies with guys who seem to be talking **** to my face and behind my back real imature ****. And finaly and most importantly she seems to lie about really big things and not admit the truth until harshly confronted. Half of me really wants to break up with her and the other half of me is really happy to be getting the most sex ever! I kind of started breaking up with her once wouldn't take her calls and then she just showed up at my door and I let her in and we made up. Last night we had a serious fight over her lieing to me again and she could tell I wanted to break up over this crap so she says "I'm falling in love with you" and I told her she is just trying to manipulate me by crying and saying that. She is trouble but I still like her and its hard but I think I should just break up with her... I mean I don't know a good portion of me wants to try to work it out but.... Shes Trouble

[amaysngrace]

you're gonna love this.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kIZeVoRBuU

[Green]

you're gonna love this.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kIZeVoRBuU

 

Goes well with the thread and yes that is really part of what it is all about. I really think she might be sleeping around with other guys and even if shes not sleeping with other guys I know for a fact she is lieing to me about other guys... but if I could know for sure it was that she is just lieing to me that might be forgivable. Its hard really liking some one and really wanting to break up with them at the same time

[amaysngrace]

I know for a fact she is lieing to me about other guys... but if I could know for sure it was that she is just lieing to me that might be forgivable.

 

Its hard really liking some one and really wanting to break up with them at the same time

 

How do you figure lying is forgivable? Don't you want trust in a relationship? Aren't you worth more than that? Isn't your time more valuable than that?

[Kamille]

LOL Amaysn, I loved that song while I was doing my undergrad.

 

What is it that your girl lies about KMT?

[Green]

How do you figure lying is forgivable? Don't you want trust in a relationship? Aren't you worth more than that? Isn't your time more valuable than that?

 

because every one lies and for the most part I'm a human lie detector I can see hear feel when some ones lieing but then again maybe she'd just get better at lieing to me. And another reason I say maybe its forgivable is because I really enjoy having sex with her and the quantity of sex so maybe I'm just taking this relationship to seriously but she wants it to be a bf/gf relationship. Damn I was just looking foward to having a serious gf for a change shat like this always happnes to me

 

LOL Amaysn, I loved that song while I was doing my undergrad.

 

What is it that your girl lies about KMT?

 

She lied to me about the fact she lives with a guy and now recently I find out that guy she is living with is an ex bf so I'm asuming she had sex with him when before she specificaly told me he was a friend who she never even kissed. And she won't let me meet him so who the heck knows what that means... she is super weird about it

[amaysngrace]

No. Not everyone lies. Not when they say who they sleep with and who they live with and when they are intimate with someone most don't lie. I would hope most don't lie anyway.

 

But if you don't want something serious with this girl and you like her blowing you then go ahead. Personally I'd be skeeved but I'm not you.

 

It's a lot cheaper than a lap dance.

[Green]

No. Not everyone lies. Not when they say who they sleep with and who they live with and when they are intimate with someone most don't lie. I would hope most don't lie anyway.

 

But if you don't want something serious with this girl and you like her blowing you then go ahead. Personally I'd be skeeved but I'm not you.

 

It's a lot cheaper than a lap dance.

 

Its way cheaper and much longer then a lap dance and I've never been to a strip club.

 

maybe most don't lie about that stuff, but I posted in another thread today where a girl was getting married to a guy who didn't want to give her anal sex and thought she was a complete virgin when she had met him but it turns out she loves anal sex and before she met him she had it with his friend all the time... and no one really seemed to call her on that but me

[amaysngrace]

You have to decide what you want. If it doesn't gross you out that she maybe did her room mate before she met up with you then cool. But if you doubt her and what she says you may have a problem.

 

Some guys I know wouldn't think twice of hitting something when it's so easy to hit it. Others would lose their erection. And some keep their boner and let her suck it instead.

 

It all depends on what you're comfortable with.

[Geishawhelk]

For my part, I just think it's not wise to accept standards in people, you wouldn't stoop to in yourself.....

 

If we're so 'hard on ourselves' in striving to achieve good levels of morality, we have an extraordinary tendency to accept much lower standards, and second-best, in others.

Particularly if they persist in staying where they are, and being in total denial, just piling lie, on lie, on lie.

 

I detest the habit of lying.

It's good that you're trying to find ways round this, KMT, but honestly, in your position, I'd be a lot less tolerant.

[Kamille]

How long have you been dating?

 

I'm still on the fence about this one. I've "minimized" past sexual encounters with male friends in the past.

[Green]

You have to decide what you want. If it doesn't gross you out that she maybe did her room mate before she met up with you then cool. But if you doubt her and what she says you may have a problem.

 

Some guys I know wouldn't think twice of hitting something when it's so easy to hit it. Others would lose their erection. And some keep their boner and let her suck it instead.

 

It all depends on what you're comfortable with.

 

I don't want this, but I don't necesarily want the alternative of being sad and lonely either. It does gross me out to think she might be cheating on me but wouldn't be the end of the world if she just used to do her roommate but no longer does. Its probably just going to be over between us I just really don't want it to end I liked her more then just sex I like who she is or who I thought she was.

 

For my part, I just think it's not wise to accept standards in people, you wouldn't stoop to in yourself.....

 

If we're so 'hard on ourselves' in striving to achieve good levels of morality, we have an extraordinary tendency to accept much lower standards, and second-best, in others.

Particularly if they persist in staying where they are, and being in total denial, just piling lie, on lie, on lie.

 

I detest the habit of lying.

It's good that you're trying to find ways round this, KMT, but honestly, in your position, I'd be a lot less tolerant.

 

I'd love to find a way around this because she is a great girl but I havn't yet I really don't trust her and she was so weird about letting me into her place so afraid of what her roommate who I just found out last night she used to date after she wouldn't let me in. I think she was afraid he would say or do something way worse then anything I can right now imagine. And shes a smart girl she should know that by not letting me in I'm just going to imagine the worst. And she was so weird about it crazy even. I miss her already and we just had the fight yesterday.

[Green]

How long have you been dating?

 

I'm still on the fence about this one. I've "minimized" past sexual encounters with male friends in the past.

 

dating about a month, but would you right out lie... she lied about not having a roommate (said she lived alone). then she lied and said "no" when I asked if she ever kissed the guy she lives with and i find out she dated him... and on top of that she won't even let me meet him. Wow I hope you never did this Kamille

[Geishawhelk]

I think it may be a tendency girls have, because they're afraid guys will think less of them, and assume they've been sleeping around, "like li'll' Hoes".....

 

Inspite of all the modern ways of thinking, I thinks some people still have the ingrained 'double-standards' ethos:

It's ok for guys to 'sow their wild oats' but if girls just want to have fun, it's outright condemned.

 

This may be an assumption she's making about you, KMT.

Which in a way, may be a compliment.....

She may want you to think well of her, because she's afraid of hurting your feelings.....she likes you enough to try to make you think she's a well-behaved proper young lady....

 

That, of course, still doesn't justify the lies, but it may put an understandable slant on them.

 

I think you might need to take her out for a nice, quiet meal, and clear the air......

[amaysngrace]

I think she was afraid he would say or do something way worse then anything I can right now imagine.

 

Like what "hey dude you up for a threesome?"

 

Here's the thing. You aren't a mindreader. You don't know if she was afraid, embarrassed, anything. What's worse is if you ask her can you know she will give you an honest answer? No you cannot. She lies.

 

It's like once a thief always a thief, same with a liar.

 

I guess you could try to have a heart to heart with her if you really believe she's worth the effort. Start by asking her why she wouldn't let you meet him. Do it face to face so you can use your human-lie-detector skills to your advantage.

 

And see what happens. Or you can weigh it out and decide not to. The thing that trips you up is you don't have an accurate picture of who she really is. It's hard to get a feel for someone when you don't know the whole story. And she's not willing to let you in on her story.

 

And sometimes what we imagine is way worse than the truth.

 

But you have to decide which way you want it to go. You can give her a chance to come clean with you or you don't have to. It's your life. Your choice.

[carhill]

she lied about not having a roommate (said she lived alone). then she lied and said "no" when I asked if she ever kissed the guy she lives with and i find out she dated him... and on top of that she won't even let me meet him

 

Really? Buh-bye

[movingonandon]

The girl who I have been dating is pretty, and fun, just an all around cool girl. Oh yeah except for all the trouble and drama she brings into my life. First off it seems like she has nothing but guy friends in fact I've determined she has more close guy friends then I do. Secondly she goes to grad school with me and just dating her has caused me enemies with guys who seem to be talking **** to my face and behind my back real imature ****. And finaly and most importantly she seems to lie about really big things and not admit the truth until harshly confronted. Half of me really wants to break up with her and the other half of me is really happy to be getting the most sex ever! I kind of started breaking up with her once wouldn't take her calls and then she just showed up at my door and I let her in and we made up. Last night we had a serious fight over her lieing to me again and she could tell I wanted to break up over this crap so she says "I'm falling in love with you" and I told her she is just trying to manipulate me by crying and saying that. She is trouble but I still like her and its hard but I think I should just break up with her... I mean I don't know a good portion of me wants to try to work it out but.... Shes Trouble

 

 

Yep, that's waaay too mucc crap to expect that she'd one day be *different*. But, hot messes are hot for a reason, so just f*** the s*** out of her, and then graduate and find a job in another city. That's the gentlemanly and sensible thing to do . If you can't handle it this way, just change you number and address and focus on your studies.

[Kamille]

Yeah no, my lies don't negate the existence of past lovers. It just often minimizes how often we've seen each other naked (or, conditions permitting, if we've seen each other naked... But if I had sex with someone, I do say it). I may also underestimate the amount of men I've slept with when a guy asks me. (Oh, around 7 I think! - really I just stopped counting when I reached 7).

 

That's what I meant by minimizing. Nothing about denying the complete existence of a roomate who I would have also happened to be dating.

 

Weird. But I still get the impression there are a lot ifs in this story: if she lied about his existence, then she couldn't possibly have thought you two would be serious when she did say the first lie. It sounds, also, like she might be trying to "manage" hurting the roomate in any way, by introducing him to you...

 

Could you find out more? Would you believe her if you two had a heart to heart?

 

... but I have to agree with Amaysngrace, GW and CH... Lying isn't exactly the best way to start a relationship.

 

And beside, a good looking funny guy like you... There's bound to interesting potential gf just around the corner!

[Green]

I think you might need to take her out for a nice, quiet meal, and clear the air......

 

I think whether I break up with her or not that might be the mature thing to do but I really don't have the balls to break up with her in any other way then having the fight with her which I already did and then ignoring all her calls and msgs for the next few weeks.

 

And sometimes what we imagine is way worse than the truth.

 

But you have to decide which way you want it to go. You can give her a chance to come clean with you or you don't have to. It's your life. Your choice.

 

I'm sure what I'm imagining is worse then the reality but in a way I did give her a chance to come clean. Last night the night we had the fight about this she was going to pick a male friend up from the airport who was visiting. She invited me to come pick the guy up with her on the way there I was like maybe I'll sleep over at your place tonight and she was like no room not even in her bed because she has clothes in her bed. So I've never seen her apartment because she uses the excuse its a mess but I was like if this guys coming to visit and see it then why shouldn't I be aloud to see it. so I was really pissed and quiet when her friend got in the car from the airport I didn't want to embaress her but she kept pushing it infront of him. and shes like asking me where I want to go and I was like you know where I want to go. So she was taking me to her place and then she broke down in tears like she just didn't want me to go inside her place and I was like this is crazy I was like why are u so afraid of me meeting this guy I'm just thinking the worst right now and thats when she admitted she used to date him and she still wouldn't let me go into her place when I asked to go in

 

Really? Buh-bye

 

I have said buh-bye but keeping it that way will be harder, and I havn't officialy said the magic words we are over "I'm breaking up with you"

 

Second that motion, for sure!

 

thats kind of funny and its the clear decision to make but like I'm not perfect believe me I do some super crappy things. And I have a sense of humor that involves poop, fart jokes and she really laughs at it which is fun and says funny things and I have a good time with her. So its just crazy

 

Yep, that's waaay too mucc crap to expect that she'd one day be *different*. But, hot messes are hot for a reason, so just f*** the s*** out of her, and then graduate and find a job in another city. That's the gentlemanly and sensible thing to do . If you can't handle it this way, just change you number and address and focus on your studies.

 

been there done that

 

Could you find out more? Would you believe her if you two had a heart to heart?

 

... but I have to agree with Amaysngrace, GW and CH... Lying isn't exactly the best way to start a relationship.

 

And beside, a good looking funny guy like you... There's bound to interesting potential gf just around the corner!

 

I really can't believe anything she says about the guys in her life at this point. I have no idea whats going on but its something, at a minimum shes still hiding something I have no idea what.

 

She's a good catch other then this. Shes very funny, very pretty, smart cool good taste in movies and entertainment loves having sex alot. So no its no there isn't necesarily another one of her around. She really had me excited but what ever its back to the hunt if I have to let her go.

[amaysngrace]

Call her out on her crap then. She cried. It goes deep.

 

You make her sound like you think she's worth it.

 

It may work and it may not but at least you won't regret not trying.

[Green]

Believe me, there are LOTS of gals with all these qualities and more, and most of them don't lie all the f'ing time. I couldn't imagine having a relationship with a liar, much less respect them.

 

I still respect her even though she lied to me and she has done alot for me in that way she is very giving. there are not LOTS of gals with all these qualities by her very nature she is one of the few the rare. I've had trust issues with people in general before this I can honestly say I trust no one and think people by their very nature are liars. Its just a person needs to have a code certain people shouldn't be lied too and especialy about certain things. the nail in the coffin in the end wasn't her lies it was the fact that she is so wierd about not letting me in her place and to see her roommate. she tries to use wierd excuses but they make no sense

[Green]

well I wrote her a letter over facebook saying it was over and that I could drop her stuff off at the office when ever it was convienient for her. I'm actualy planning on going out on a date with new girl tonight who I just asked out today but had started flirting with b4 I met the girl I just broke up with.

[amaysngrace]

well I wrote her a letter over facebook saying it was over

 

Bum. I was liking the little miss issue girl.

[Green]

Bum. I was liking the little miss issue girl.

 

Miss Trouble but she did have plenty of issues too. Well the new girl seems kind of wild I hope I hit it off but I'm off to a bad start because when she commented on my in relationship status I just said it was a joke and put it to single. I didn't want to tell her that I just broke up... maybe i will tonight I don't want to make a fraction of the mistakes she did

[Meaplus3]

If shes lying to you that's just plain wrong and very disrepectful. You deserve a girl that's honest with you. The sex might be good.. but thats not what important here. What's important is honesty, trust, and respect and she cleary is lacking that. I say she either cleans up her act or can her.

 

AP:)