RRyan65 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 When I come here to this forum initially, it's usually due to the fact that my ex's broke up with me by dropping the bomb: They're seeing someone else. This causes serious rejection and lowered self-esteem. I then place all the blame on me and don't even acknowledge that they cheated. I also place them on a pedestal and am blinded to the real reason why the relationship didn't work out. I had the very unfortunate experience this time to have crossed paths with my ex and her new guy on Friday, only 5 days after the breakup and the first time I decided to go out with friends. That **** sucked. As we passed each other, we stared at each other but didn't say a word. It was surreal. I had practically begged this girl to give it another shot while I was in the shock phase of the break up. I now realize that had she gave me another shot, this new 'mock' relationship would've disintegrated in just a matter of days due to the trespasses commited. I'm still not over her, but certain things are becoming clearer. In order for her to even open herself to the opportunity of seeing someone else, means that she had long fallen out of love with me and lost respect for me by trying to keep me on the wings. That **** is unforgivable, my friends. I am now finally able to channel the anger part of the breakup, so I must be on my way to recovery. It is important, if you are in my situation to make sure you take your pride seriously. In both my previous relationships, I tried to initiate a break up, but was far too sensitive at their pleas to give the relationship another try. I went against my first instincts to end it in the most mature way possible, gave the relationship another shot, and then I became the victim of two terribly devestating, immature breakups. My lesson learned: Once you make a decision like that, you better stick to your guns, or you'll be the one ending up getting hurt in a bad way. I could let my self-esteem sink further by believing that I had been rejected because of numerous flaws that are out of my control, but the reality is that my only flaws (as far as breaking up goes) are that I'm too damn sensitive to their feelings and I have respect for the relationship we had regardless of the fact that I wanted it to end. Basically, I gave them their second chances and never cheated. I have not been given the same courtesy however. That being said, I feel like I am on a higher ground for once. That's it. (BTW, if your girlfriend booted you despite being the near-perfect guy because she wanted to get banged by other guys, good riddance to her) Lastly, if in a couple of months either of them would like to bump uglies, 99% chance that I'll go for it
hereandnow Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Running into the ex with her new guy that soon, yowza. I'm dreading the day that happens to me, and it's almost been two months. (I don't actually know if she's dating anyone or not.) I was at a theater with some friends about three weeks after the break, and I guy I just met said that he'd hung out with my ex and her friend and boy, that alone f***ed me up good.
Author RRyan65 Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Let me tell you, in the past 48 hours since this happened to me, my world has been turned upside down. I didn't sleep but one hour Friday night because the image of her face as I walked past her was branded in my eyelids. And yes, 5 days after the news that she met someone, is waaaay too soon. And the fact that this was 7 days after she texted me "I want this too work out because you mean so much to me" and "I wish you'd whisk me away and we can live together...blah blah blah" is even worse. This girl is a girl who I considered relatively stable, but I'm beginning to have my doubts. I hope for more clarity in the upcoming days. Right now I'm relishing in this anger wave that I wish I could ride forever (it's not vengeful anger, which is no good. It's the righteous kind)
hereandnow Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Some of the posts I've read here really freak me out. Dudes some way or another seeing their exes posting online looking for casual sex, gangbangs. Yeah, f***ing gangbangs. I really hope that guy was just screwing around, but he seemed pretty serious. I'm not one to get pissed off over trivial things, but if I were that guy? I've been known to pull some stupid s*** in my day!
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