hereandnow Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 So I haven't been able to go the NC route. The longest I lasted was 9 days. So I've been doing the LC thing for a little while now (breakup was almost 2 months ago). I talk, text or run into her an average of twice a week. Actually I've been running into her more frequently recently. So my strategy has become two pronged: 1. Keeping my eye out for other interested women while at the same time 2. Still hoping that I get back with my ex gf. I don't know how healthy this strategy is, but it is what I'm going with today. Any feedback is appreciated.
Geishawhelk Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 It's called prolonging the agony, and will turn and bite you on the ass so hard one day, that you'll wonder why exactly it was that you decided to defy all logical advice on here. I wish people would listen!!
Author hereandnow Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 I will definitely let ya'll know if an when it does bite me in the ass. I'm not saying it won't either. I suppose there were actually more prongs to my approach than I thought. I also 3. started writing a novel and 4. am buying a Harley Davidson in the next couple of weeks. Anybody tried motorcycles as a coping strategy?
Geishawhelk Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 James Dean had a Porche as his coping strategy...... Take care.
RRyan65 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 LMFAO! I bought a Harley right after I broke up with my first ex! '07 Wide Glide. However, I had already planned on buying it before our breakup was official, but still, I was a new man. Hey, buying yourself something nice is part of breaking the routine and introducing new stuff into your life. That is soo funny you asked... you know, for this break-up I was contemplating trading in my truck for a new Chevy, but I'm in college now, so money's a little tight.
Author hereandnow Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Yeah, I had been planning on getting a bike eventually, but while I was with my ex I was more or less content just being with her and never got off my a** and made any moves. Loved the James Dean bit Geisha! I mean, who would want to ride a bike without the imminent threat of unavoidable death. I wonder if motorcycles are more or less dangerous than intravenous coke, meth, heroin, cause I used to do all of that too! But back to the relationship topic: I've read over and over about people advocating NC, but then I look at some people's coping threads and they've been NC for 6 months and the pain's worse than ever. Is no contact really that much better for healing?
RRyan65 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 That's a good point. Here's how I see it: If you were dumped, NC after your proper closure and answers if you can get them. If you dumped, NC. If you were dumped and they contact you, C, but don't give in to their wants. If you dumped and they contact you, C, but don't **** with their feelings and do not feel sorry for them. My first break up involved contact and sex almost all the way until my next serious relationship. I don't remember having a problem with it mainly because she wanted back into my life but I couldn't accept that since she had already started seeing someone else prior to our official break up and even though initially I wanted her back, my better reason told me that there would be no way I could accept going back to a tainted relationship. So if we were to give it another chance, I would have to first go out there into the world and have some of my own experimenting. By the time I started messing around myself, I was over her and enjoyed my newfound freedom. My situations always seem to involve third parties, which in the initial breakup are dizzingly painful and confusing. But, if you have any nuts, you'll realize in a relatively shorter time, that there is no chance of getting back together. For those who think their ex hasn't seen anybody else since the break-up, and want to pursue, don't pursue too hard. Let it be friendly and again, if you were given the boot and you want back, the only way you'd have any chance is if they take you back on their own initiative.
Author hereandnow Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 I think it will take being with someone new to completely get over my ex. I mean, who else are you going to be thinking about until you're in love with someone new. It only seems natural that your last love is going to be on your mind. And to fill you in I was the one "dumped," though, for what it's worth, it started out as a break initiated on her end, it really wasn't a knock down drag out kind of thing.
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