shesmiles Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Since writing him a letter that showed him exactly where I stood and how I felt at that exact moment and what I've been going through day after day, I was so glad he never replied. I'm ready, Ready to move on and face the world but still not sure what to do with my rebound as I feel he is no longer my rebound and someone I could possibly see myself lasting a long time with. I care about him and I do have strong feelings for him and he has truly shown me that there is better out there for me, He treats me amazing. Sends me a dozen roses to my door and always compliments me, he makes me feel really good and I am so open with him, I feel as if I can tell him anything and he'll never judge me and I do tell him everything. He knows all about what I've been going through and he hates to see me upset. my problem - I am not ready for attachment or relationship and I am very attached to him already, We Still have intimacy which I know isn't very healthy and won't help the situation. I'm a little confused on what to do about this ...
lofi_tokyo Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Shesmiles, I think you're still using the guy as a rebound. Although it may seem like hes shown you how good things can be - hes so nice, and treats you well - the fact still remains that you JUST e-mailed your ex showing you're not over him. When you first met your rebound, did you think he was a rebound then? No. And I suspect once again, he does not seem like a rebound, but he still is. If you're not over you ex, then it is very possible you are using this new guy still. Also, dating him may make you think you're over your ex, but you already know how that goes, something like pictures could rip off the bandage and send you back into hurting. Why not give the wound time to heal? Endure a little pain and loneliness, but get over that silly ex by finding time for yourself, not by using someone who is going to become attached for emotional support. Personally I think it does not sound to me like you're ready for a full blown relationship right now. That being said! Some rebound relationships DO turn into loving, lasting, relationships. Theres nothing to stop that from happening in your case, so long as you acknowledge that this man could still be a rebound, you take things slowly, and you are open and honest with your partner. So far, it sounds like you've been very honest with him, and you have acknowledged he's a rebound... so I don't know, maybe it could work! The important thing is not to see him as a replacement, and not to compare him to your ex - that kind of behavior is indicative that he will always be a rebound, and nothing more.
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