Dmoney28 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 This is more of rant than advice...but any given would be great. Me and my ex been in LC weekly since our breakup 4 months ago. We talk and converse better than we have the last year of the relationship(3.5 years). Up until now, i have been very good at not responding to her obvious attempts to get me jealous. Until today i have been so good at not letting this effect me. Until today. She called and we talked as usual. She mention she sent me a message on myspace and should respond back. "cool" i told myself. I checked it out, and i saw all the pics of her showing off her @$$. WOW. I was feeling so good up until that point avoiding her myspace page. 4 months of making pretty good progress...until i saw the pics. I lost my cool. I sent her a txt later that day me >"nice butt pics on your myspace, lol very sexy"........ her>"yeah, its getting so tight now".... me>"lol, nice...take care" i dont know if i handled that right, but i feel like crap now...god why did i let her lead me to that page...dammit, i'm sorry. I fell for the trap, i shouldnt have been so stupid...oh well, no more of a reason to go NFC.
californiadreaming Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 You are the one who I have taken most of my advice from. You are good @ giving advice, I am sure you will patch this one up just fine.
northstar1 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 This is more of rant than advice...but any given would be great. Me and my ex been in LC weekly since our breakup 4 months ago. We talk and converse better than we have the last year of the relationship(3.5 years). Up until now, i have been very good at not responding to her obvious attempts to get me jealous. Until today i have been so good at not letting this effect me. Until today. She called and we talked as usual. She mention she sent me a message on myspace and should respond back. "cool" i told myself. I checked it out, and i saw all the pics of her showing off her @$$. WOW. I was feeling so good up until that point avoiding her myspace page. 4 months of making pretty good progress...until i saw the pics. I lost my cool. I sent her a txt later that day me >"nice butt pics on your myspace, lol very sexy"........ her>"yeah, its getting so tight now".... me>"lol, nice...take care" i dont know if i handled that right, but i feel like crap now...god why did i let her lead me to that page...dammit, i'm sorry. I fell for the trap, i shouldnt have been so stupid...oh well, no more of a reason to go NFC. Can I ask why you are in LC with her in the 1st place ? (sorry if I don't know your history on this). I gotta say man, unless she's coming back wanting to reconcille, then this LC is not doing you any good, as evidence by what you've written.
californiadreaming Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Can I ask why you are in LC with her in the 1st place ? (sorry if I don't know your history on this). I gotta say man, unless she's coming back wanting to reconcille, then this LC is not doing you any good, as evidence by what you've written. Like I have said a million times, This man knows his situation better then anyone else. Because alot of you folks have had bad turn outs does not mean that the next mans turn out is going to be the same. I spoke with my ex 20min ago for 43 minutes for the first time in weeks, I'm not gonna post what happened in our conversation here, why not? Because there is a line that you have to draw with wanting advice. As far as advice and this site goes for me, I seek it when I am lost, and I take what I get with a grain of salt.
Author Dmoney28 Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 well, thats kinda the funny part of it. I cheated...yes, i know horrible, bad and the worse thing you can do. 8 psychologist sesssion, 4 group counselling meetings and 48 church services later, i know what i did was VERY bad, and have shown i was remorseful ( her words, not mine ). So i'm kinda in the dog house...thus LC9 nothing is garunteed of course). She says she will forgive me, just trying to get past the hurt. And trying to trust me again. If were just a simple breakup...i would have had NC to the fullest. But damn...did that sting. I know not as bad as what i did of course( no were near as bad). Its just for the last 4 months i have countered her every attempt to make jealous..like a f'n pro. But i slipped up, now i look like a insercure looser.
northstar1 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Like I have said a million times, This man knows his situation better then anyone else. Because alot of you folks have had bad turn outs does not mean that the next mans turn out is going to be the same. I spoke with my ex 20min ago for 43 minutes for the first time in weeks, I'm not gonna post what happened in our conversation here, why not? Because there is a line that you have to draw with wanting advice. As far as advice and this site goes for me, I seek it when I am lost, and I take what I get with a grain of salt. That is precisely why I asked him why he was in LC, with the context that I didn't know his story. Clearly he was bothered by the contact, and that is why I asked.
Author Dmoney28 Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 right on cali. My situation is very distinct. I mean, its one of those things that only time can cure. She cried the last time i suggested NC. So LC is best for a possible reconsiliation...but i'm not putting false hope into it. At this point, im a realist. If it happen...great, awesome. If not, i'll be so indiffrent to the matter, it wont hurt as bad ( day 3 of NC i feel like a champ, i got my thoughts back). This is more like a irritation than hurt...i'm so tempted to put up some shirtless pics of me posing ( i'm a bit of a muscle head)...just to get back at her. She checks my myspace like every 3 days or so. I'm tired of these mind games.
californiadreaming Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 well, thats kinda the funny part of it. I cheated...yes, i know horrible, bad and the worse thing you can do. 8 psychologist sesssion, 4 group counselling meetings and 48 church services later, i know what i did was VERY bad, and have shown i was remorseful ( her words, not mine ). So i'm kinda in the dog house...thus LC9 nothing is garunteed of course). She says she will forgive me, just trying to get past the hurt. And trying to trust me again. If were just a simple breakup...i would have had NC to the fullest. But damn...did that sting. I know not as bad as what i did of course( no were near as bad). Its just for the last 4 months i have countered her every attempt to make jealous..like a f'n pro. But i slipped up, now i look like a insercure looser. Its okay dude, Don't play into all of the "hype" or "games" who is the real love guru? One might say it shows insecurity, one might say it shows that you care, who knows what her intentions were? I say just go on... Keep your LC thing going. Like you say take everything on this site with a grain of salt. If I was to listen to everyone on here, She wouldn't be coming back, I'd be too hopeful, I wouldn't have a shot, etc... But, I just got off the phone with the same woman who texted me to say that she wasn't ready to talk to me yet, and then turned around and called me twice. I have spent 5 long years with this woman, and we have been through ups and downs, things I can not even mention, vacations, fights, and so much more. I know this woman loves me, I know she is really hurt because I treated her poorly, I know its going to take alot of building her trust, and so much more again, but I know that in time I will be able to do that. And I know that because I know my situation.
Author Dmoney28 Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 you know what...dammit i need to rant. I had a couple of beers, and i need to get some stuff off my chest. I am so sick of these breakup / makeup mind games. Its sad that two adults cant simply say "i still love you, but i dont know how to go about getting back together"...All this MYSPACE BS...all these late night txt's..."im just sitting here listening to your favorite song..harold melvin..i miss you"...wha?..you txt me at 11:00 pm to tell me that. What makes me angry...is when she txt's me her "did you post on CL today?"... me "nope why"? her "good, just checking, wanted to make sure" i look on Craiglsit to find out what the hell she was talking about. Someone from the same city and age as me posted saying " i know we were not meant to be, i love you , but i want you to find the best friend and lover you need"....wha? why not just ask me if i posted that message. Then she says "my grandma called my mother...she asked if we were reconcilling...i smiled"..... But when i ask her about the matter..she say..."i just dont know right now...i feel like i still cant trust you..i'm trying" . Anyone who descides to Try and go throug this lOOOONGGGG process of trying to get your ex back through NFC or LC...its going to SUCK...SUCK. She will test you...she will try and entrapt you. Its like they try and crack you. Well, its all good i guess. I did majorly screw up. Its cool. All i know , that through all the ups and downs of the past 4 months...i'm so much stronger than i ..or her thought possible. NC for a week. She cant go more thna 5 days without calling me. Everyday with NC makes you get stronger and stronger. And honestly...at this point her games have made me so indiffrent and hollow. Sorry , just ranting...i feel better now, HA HA
californiadreaming Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 you know what...dammit i need to rant. I had a couple of beers, and i need to get some stuff off my chest. I am so sick of these breakup / makeup mind games. Its sad that two adults cant simply say "i still love you, but i dont know how to go about getting back together"...All this MYSPACE BS...all these late night txt's..."im just sitting here listening to your favorite song..harold melvin..i miss you"...wha?..you txt me at 11:00 pm to tell me that. What makes me angry...is when she txt's me her "did you post on CL today?"... me "nope why"? her "good, just checking, wanted to make sure" i look on Craiglsit to find out what the hell she was talking about. Someone from the same city and age as me posted saying " i know we were not meant to be, i love you , but i want you to find the best friend and lover you need"....wha? why not just ask me if i posted that message. Then she says "my grandma called my mother...she asked if we were reconcilling...i smiled"..... But when i ask her about the matter..she say..."i just dont know right now...i feel like i still cant trust you..i'm trying" . Anyone who descides to Try and go throug this lOOOONGGGG process of trying to get your ex back through NFC or LC...its going to SUCK...SUCK. She will test you...she will try and entrapt you. Its like they try and crack you. Well, its all good i guess. I did majorly screw up. Its cool. All i know , that through all the ups and downs of the past 4 months...i'm so much stronger than i ..or her thought possible. NC for a week. She cant go more thna 5 days without calling me. Everyday with NC makes you get stronger and stronger. And honestly...at this point her games have made me so indiffrent and hollow. Sorry , just ranting...i feel better now, HA HA Damn g what you know about that Harold Melvin? I didn't think you was that hip. Anyways, Man I am drinking a Red Stripe as we speak, I gave up on drinking 4 tall boys a day the day that we split, But today with this mixed emotion I feel it was needed. Although, I must say I am feeling pretty cool right now. What I am coming to realize is this love stuff is crazy man! we have similar but different stories to why our relationships ended, but the moral of the story is that we want our women back. You have been in LC for 4 months, and it look to as if my LC is just beginning. The thing that you told me is that no matter what "WE" our at fault for this ultimate outcome. The thing you told me is that "WE" are even lucky that our women are speaking to us. If it is games we have to go through to make this work, then we gotta do it homie! Simple as that, If I can deal with this pain, I can handle any test that this woman can through at me, for however long is necessary. I don't know about you, but I love my woman, I love her to death, and I really, really want her to see before I leave the planet earth that I changed. Whether she gives us the title, we get married, we become friends or, we do nothing. I want her to know that I can not make up for what I did, but I can give and show her the respect that she wanted, needed, and deserved. Yea, I told her that I am sorry, and explained why I apologized tonight. Yea, I explained how and why I am working on change. I can not leave the earth with knowing that I was that way to her. In my eyes if we are friends, I'm a be the best of a friend that she has - In other words if she ever needs anything, I am here. If I am here lover, And God, knows that I pray for this multiple times a day. Then I am going to be the best lover she ever will experience. As simple as that. So man, F all the bs of what anyone says, you know where u lye, and its going to be long and frustrating, but if you want the end to end with you two together handle it.
Author Dmoney28 Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Oh hell yeah...harold melvin and the blue notes..what!!!! The delfonics, the spinners..The Ojay's...Marvin gaye. I got all that. And what sucks, is my ex loves those groups too...and tries to use it to make me all emotional. But yeah..i got my composure back. Just had to say some words. I love her like crazy. This road we walk...its a long and painfull one. Cali...i'm telling you bro...expect alot of ups and downs. Expect alot of verbal test. This will be the most intense emotional thing you will ever go through. I'm at a point where the "inccednets" are brought up as just that. Took months before she would even say that without either crying..or yelling. So progress yes......buts its slow...and long....and it hurts. And when you were laid off...and have too much time on your hands...it makes it even worse. But i accept my responsibilty.....and i take it it with a grin on my face and a "getty up" in my step. either way...im a better person becuase of this horrible situation.
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