prettybaby Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 So I had a date, and I think it went pretty well (although it was a bit on the shy side as far as physical contact goes, but I guess I shouldn't beat myself up too much since it was only the very first date). Date started at 7PM and ended around midnight (basically dinner and lots of talking and laughing). He walked me to my door like a gentleman. He told me he had really enjoyed it and that we should definitely do this again, I smiled and agreed, and there was this awkward second and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. I'm not too concerned about the kiss on the cheek vs kiss on the lips thing, in this particular case. A kiss on the lips would have felt weird so early on, especially since he seemed a bit shy too. However, I'm thinking I should have said something clearer like "yeah, we really should do this again. Feel free to call me any time you feel like it" or something along those lines. Instead, I got all shy and gushed and blushed and just agreed. I guess I should just wait for him to call me now? I don't know if I'm supposed to do anything at all at this point lol I feel so clueless.
spookie Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 Wait it out. I don't think it's expected that you make the next move.
OpenBook Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 Aww, that is so sweet!! He walked you to the door. He said he really enjoyed it and wants to do this again. You blushed and gushed, and kissed him on the cheek. You both made a happy memory. Relax! And don't wait by the phone for him to call. Keep going with your own life! If he's worth his salt, you will hear from him again. Now is the time to trust in the universe, that everything is unfolding as it should... even when it doesn't unfold the way you expect it to.
Author prettybaby Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Ahh, I guess I'm just worried he wouldn't call and that I'd end up wondering what I did wrong and whether I screwed up when he walked me to my door lol But yeah, I guess I should just sit back and let whatever happen.
EYECANDY000 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 call him and tll him you really enjoyed the date. I think nowadays women need to speak up move and be a little more aggresive. and If you are to shy to call then send a text and say "thanks for a great evening, lets do it again"
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 If he likes you he will call. He's not going to let a little shyness on your part keep him away from you. I totally know how you feel though.
Author prettybaby Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 call him and tll him you really enjoyed the date. I think nowadays women need to speak up move and be a little more aggresive. and If you are to shy to call then send a text and say "thanks for a great evening, lets do it again" Well, I didn't feel like the text was a good idea (I did consider it for a second on Saturday lol). But I had already texted him a little thank you message after we had had lunch together a couple of weeks before (which wasn't an actual date). And I didn't want to sound like a predictable robot by doing the exact same thing again. I hope that makes sense? lol Anyway, thanks for your responses I guess I just needed to be reassured lol Lame, I know! Oh well
Shygirl15 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Nice! Sounds a lot like my last first date..lol (except the kiss). I also agree he should be the one to make contact. I would have liked if he called the next day, but maybe he's a slower.
Author prettybaby Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Nice! Sounds a lot like my last first date..lol (except the kiss). I also agree he should be the one to make contact. I would have liked if he called the next day, but maybe he's a slower. Oh yeah, he's definitely more on the shy/slow side (which I suppose isn't necessarily a bad thing?) I used to get all panicked at first because he didn't keep up with the LoveShack standards LOL But the more I'm getting to know him, the more I realize that's just the way he flows, so I'm slowly learning to relax.
Shygirl15 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Oh yeah, he's definitely more on the shy/slow side (which I suppose isn't necessarily a bad thing?) I used to get all panicked at first because he didn't keep up with the LoveShack standards LOL But the more I'm getting to know him, the more I realize that's just the way he flows, so I'm slowly learning to relax. Not at all. My BF (who is the last first date I referred earlier) is exactly the same way. I also didn't keep up with LS standards (talked online for a month before meeting up!) lol but we're doing just fine. Just go with the flow. People are different. Getting to know his ways is the key here. I hope it works out.
Gremio Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Oh yeah, he's definitely more on the shy/slow side (which I suppose isn't necessarily a bad thing?) I used to get all panicked at first because he didn't keep up with the LoveShack standards LOL But the more I'm getting to know him, the more I realize that's just the way he flows, so I'm slowly learning to relax. When it comes to my interest in a woman I'm seeing I believe I make it clear in my actions and words. I am "shy" if you will when it comes to making the first move though. I take it slow because at times the line can be very thin, and if you make a move when she isn't ready, that could damage the relationship irreparably.
BlueEyedGirl Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Sigh. This guy is not making ANY effort to contact you first. Even the shyest of guys would do that if interested. I know that you don't want to hear this but reporting me to LS moderators is not going to change the truth: he. is. just. not that. into. you.
Author prettybaby Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Sigh. This guy is not making ANY effort to contact you first. Even the shyest of guys would do that if interested. I know that you don't want to hear this but reporting me to LS moderators is not going to change the truth: he. is. just. not that. into. you. lol what the hell?
shockandawed Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 I wonder how many 1st and 2nd dates never go any farther because of all the miscommunications and supposed rules. He probably hasn't called yet because someone put in his head the silly 3 day rule. Just as you haven't initiated anything because the girl is supposed to wait. I have dated a few girls who always emailed me or texted me a day or two after a date to thank me and mention they were looking forward to seeing me again. I always liked it as it gave me a clear impression of what they were thinking. Took alot of pressure off. I see no problem with you sending a text or email thanking him and definitely wouldn't be concerned with looking like a pattern. Actually, you now bring up another problem. Since you sent one last time, and haven't yet this time, you could be scaring him off. I would probably think it didn't go well with the logic that she sent me a thank you last time and hasn't yet this time. I really think consistency is a good thing early on.
Author prettybaby Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 ^^ Hmm, you do have a good point there. I guess I'm just not feeling that a text right now is necessary. I do know for a fact that his two jobs get really busy right before Christmas and he's already a bit on the slow side to begin with. So worst case, I'll just wish him a Merry Christmas in 10 days and keep the ball rolling from there. Plus, that 3 days rule is mainly an american thing. People around here don't really think about that kinda stuff, so I'm not worried if things move slower than that. And I know BlueEyedGirl will repeat again and again that I should stop talking to him because "he's.just.not.into.me", but I'm the one who just had dinner with the guy! I'm in the best position to judge that, thank you.
Author prettybaby Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 I wonder how many 1st and 2nd dates never go any farther because of all the miscommunications and supposed rules. He probably hasn't called yet because someone put in his head the silly 3 day rule. Just as you haven't initiated anything because the girl is supposed to wait. I have dated a few girls who always emailed me or texted me a day or two after a date to thank me and mention they were looking forward to seeing me again. I always liked it as it gave me a clear impression of what they were thinking. Took alot of pressure off. I see no problem with you sending a text or email thanking him and definitely wouldn't be concerned with looking like a pattern. Actually, you now bring up another problem. Since you sent one last time, and haven't yet this time, you could be scaring him off. I would probably think it didn't go well with the logic that she sent me a thank you last time and hasn't yet this time. I really think consistency is a good thing early on. Ok crap. Now you have me doubting. To text or not to text? ughh
amaysngrace Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Don't text. Like you said it will be what you did before. And that may come off as boring. Wait for him to call. If it left this much of an impression on you it most likely left the same impression on him. You can't usually get a charge off someone who isn't charged themselves. So he really may be doing the three day thing to avoid appearing "needy". And like you said he is very busy with work. Just be patient. But other than that it sounds like you had a good time Friday night.
Author prettybaby Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Aarrgh, yes yes, you're right lol I'll keep you guys updated thanks!
movingonandon Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 So I had a date, and I think it went pretty well (although it was a bit on the shy side as far as physical contact goes, but I guess I shouldn't beat myself up too much since it was only the very first date). Date started at 7PM and ended around midnight (basically dinner and lots of talking and laughing). He walked me to my door like a gentleman. He told me he had really enjoyed it and that we should definitely do this again, I smiled and agreed, and there was this awkward second and I gave him a kiss on the cheek. I'm not too concerned about the kiss on the cheek vs kiss on the lips thing, in this particular case. A kiss on the lips would have felt weird so early on, especially since he seemed a bit shy too. However, I'm thinking I should have said something clearer like "yeah, we really should do this again. Feel free to call me any time you feel like it" or something along those lines. Instead, I got all shy and gushed and blushed and just agreed. I guess I should just wait for him to call me now? I don't know if I'm supposed to do anything at all at this point lol I feel so clueless. That's totally a sex on a the 2nd date material, i'm just sayin' Don't do anything, just wait for him to arrange a 2nd date. There could be an issue if he's indeed shy, in which case he might go underground unless he hears from you. If that's the case, I'd still advice tha tyou wait about a week before sending him some casual email or text saying wassup.
Shygirl15 Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Aarrgh, yes yes, you're right lol I'll keep you guys updated thanks! Prettybaby, he's taking too long, though. Date was Friday, right? And it's now Monday. I'm beginning to think maybe you need to call him, and just sound casual, you know, like you're just checking up on him or something. Maybe he's too afraid/shy to call or whatever. Help him out
Author prettybaby Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 I don't know, that 3 day rule sounds like BS though lol He honestly has no clue about any of that stuff so I'm not too worried about the 3 day mark. I guess I just wanna make sure I didn't/don't do anything stupid!
movingonandon Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 I don't know, that 3 day rule sounds like BS though lol He honestly has no clue about any of that stuff so I'm not too worried about the 3 day mark. I guess I just wanna make sure I didn't/don't do anything stupid! I never followed the '3 day rule', and never regret it. i have no idea where did this ridiculous crap came from, but apparently it's here to stay. It's not how long you wait to call, it's what you do whan you call, duh...
flc Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 I also never follow that rule and almost always follow up the next day. In any event txt'ing or calling him will not change anything. If he is interested he will call you, if not he won't. If he calls you after longer than a week then I would be concerned that you are just filler.
Author prettybaby Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Gahh, okay, so I have a casual little thank you text in mind and I'm on the verge of sending it. I guess it can't cause too much harm? lol
likestolaugh Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 it won't do any harm. It's been several days now... it's a nice gentle "I'd like to hear from you" kind of reminder... at the very least, it'll give you peace of mind for a while..
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