Dont want to live anymore

[melissa123]

Thought id update my story if your interested.

It took a heartbreaking turn last night and im shattered, honestly ready to die.

After coming here and everyone thinking he left me as he was gay, turns out he now has a new gf.

The pain in simply unbearable.

This new gf is impossible to fault. I have known her for years and I cant fault her.

My heart is simply at that point where it cant take anymore pain.

I had been doing nc and feeling well until some loser txtd me last night saying "did you know ***** is now going out with *****"

 

Its so unbearable.

This is the third time I have been left for someone else.

Why am I never good enough? There is always someone better.

Like I said my heartaches so much that I cant take it.

Im ready to just throw it all in.

 

I dont see the point in going on anymore, I am never good enough for anyone, there is always someone better who comes along.

I cant eat or sleep, I just cant function. The pain hurts so bad.

 

I know I need help, but even so, I know always im just not good enough for anyone so why do I bother living.

All I do is get hurt

 

plz help me

[Sari]

Hi Melissa, please don't get yourself worked up in to such a state, try to calm down and take some deep breaths. You will be ok and this feeling will pass. Try to do something relaxing, take a lavender bath or drink some camomile tea or have a lie down.

 

I think you may need to talk to someone qualified in self-esteem issues, a therapist or something. You say that you often get left by men, maybe you are giving out needy vibes or have obviously low self-esteem. I'm sure you are a lovely girl with plenty to offer a guy, but you need to start believing it! Talking to a therapist may help. Hugs.

[Sari]

And please believe that you will feel better eventually. It will take time but do not do anything to harm yourself, it is a very permanent way out of a temporary bad situation. I can't imagine how you must be feeling but if I found out my ex was seeing someone else I would probably feel like dying too. He may well be on the rebound and if he can treat you so callously and replace you then he is not worth your valuable time. Do you have anything to take your mind off it or help you relax?

[Benique]

Noooooo.Noooo.No!

Never say things like that !

 

 

Look at your situation from another side !

Now you are FREE ! You know what this means ?

You are free to do,to act,to meet,to date ,to love, whatever, you like .You are open to new ,new life,new acquaintance,new date,new man,new dream ,all and anything you like,dear .

 

 

He left ? Send him to **** ,you know where

He gave you freedom .

Take it .

Live a life,dear.

 

 

Single not always means alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

________________________________________________

 

"Husbands and wives, who sincerely loved each other during their earthy lives,live together again , albeit the mode of communication is the thought, and not the speech."

[alwayssme]

Melissa listen, I used to say what you're saying and then apologized to God and to myself soo much for even thinking that way. This might sound cliche to you right now but seriously do u have any idea how blessed we are? yes being heartbroken hurts like hell, im living it, i KNOW!!! but there are people who cant talk, walk, see and who have deseases..some dont even have enough food to it..i know these "people" seem imaginary because u dont know them...but they EXIST and they are going through it. So no matter what you're going through...NEVER say you wish something you really dont wish.

 

 

What you want is to be alive and happy! You dont want to die. I know being heartbroken is the next most hurtful things (after the ones i mentioned)...I went through so much on my first 3 MONTHS!! believe me, i honestly think there's a few people who went through as much as i went through...i was so hurt/depressed that it was hurting me to even breathe. I could not eat, i lost 20 lbs and im a petite little girl so imagine...i wanted out of my misery SO BAD!!! this is personal but i'll share it anyway...for the first few weeks i was numb...then when the numbness went away around the second month, i literally almost lost my mind. It was a pain like i have never experinced. I remember being SO SO SOO SAD that i couldnt function. I couldnt go anywhere without thinking of him and without crying. I went on dates and all i talked about was my ex...then decided i couldnt see anybody and just stood by myself...

 

 

Now its been 4 months and comparing to how i felt then with now...wow huge difference....that doesnt mean it doesnt hurt...it still hurts SOOO MUCH but i think im more sane now...i still struggle with wanting to call him, i still love him and miss him but i have gotten better and so will you. you dont see it now but it does get better. If you're truly overwhelmed, I would suggest talking to a therapist or if you want you can private message me on here. I hope you feel better, I know the pain you're in and if you're religious just keep praying! Hugs!

[trixy]

I became suicidal in my early twenties, I dreaded every new day and couldn't work out how I could get through it. I had councelling for several years and it changed my life. I am a really positive person now who laughs through most things.

 

Whenever I see the tell tale signs of depression appearing again I use a variety of things to buck my self up.

I treat my self to some metime (bath, nails etc) to make me feel good about myself, I use calming essential oils to ease my nerves and I use affirmations to shore up my self esteem if it gets low.

 

Please look after yourself, he really isn't worth it.

[Surfer Dude]

Thought id update my story if your interested.

It took a heartbreaking turn last night and im shattered, honestly ready to die.

After coming here and everyone thinking he left me as he was gay, turns out he now has a new gf.

The pain in simply unbearable.

This new gf is impossible to fault. I have known her for years and I cant fault her.

My heart is simply at that point where it cant take anymore pain.

I had been doing nc and feeling well until some loser txtd me last night saying "did you know ***** is now going out with *****"

 

Its so unbearable.

This is the third time I have been left for someone else.

Why am I never good enough? There is always someone better.

Like I said my heartaches so much that I cant take it.

Im ready to just throw it all in.

 

I dont see the point in going on anymore, I am never good enough for anyone, there is always someone better who comes along.

I cant eat or sleep, I just cant function. The pain hurts so bad.

 

I know I need help, but even so, I know always im just not good enough for anyone so why do I bother living.

All I do is get hurt

 

plz help me

 

I know this must be a rough time for you, but seriously why kill yourself because of some douchebags who couldn't appreciate you? Those SOBs don't deserve any tears, any thoughts from you at all. You wouldn't take your life because of them, right?

 

Maybe all this is an indication of some deeper issues that bother you, and these breakups were just an external trigger for them. Perhaps you should seek professional help, or at least do some self work, it could help you a lot. Just don't give up, you will be fine. Life is beautiful, don't give up on it!

[melissa123]

Im sorry, but ive just completely lost it at the moment!

Im really unable to cope with all this.

This guy was my life and the initial breakup was hard enough but to find out that there was someone else involved has destroyed me.

Im not good enough for anyone.

I just dont see the point in trying anymore.

I set my self up to be ripped to pieces everytime.

I dont know what it is about me that makes myself so easy to get over and move on from.

But theres something so why bother.

I hate this so much, the hurt is umimaginable, and I do feel silly saying things like not wanting to live anymore but its honestly how I feel at the moment.

I feel everyone would be better off if I was just gone!

 

I was starting to cope a bit better when everyone said he was treating me like crap and was not worth my time

Now I know why he was treating me like crap, because he had feelings for someone else and wanted to get rid of me.

So how can I stay mad at him for that?!

He wasnt really an awful person he just wanted to get rid of me so he could have this other girl. He was fine to me before she came along.

And she is a million times better than me, anyone would say so.

 

This is the hardest thing ever. Im shaking & crying as I write this and not even wanting to be here!

[LucreziaBorgia]

1. This is the third time I have been left for someone else.

Why am I never good enough?

 

2. I am never good enough for anyone, there is always someone better who comes along.

 

3. I know always im just not good enough for anyone so why do I bother living.

All I do is get hurt

 

 

1. You will need to think of it more this way: Being left three times for someone else is three times you've been spared living out relationships with people who aren't right for you.

 

2. The 'someone better' who comes along may be 'better' for your ex's but I can tell you this: that 'someone better' will be for you when you are ready for it.

 

3. Why bother living? Because you know deep down in your heart that basing your entire life's happiness on three breakups doesn't really make any sense. Some of us have been through horrendous, life altering breakups and found ourselves happier than we thought possible - happier than we would have ever been with the 'one who got away'.

 

One day you'll thank whatever gods you have in your life that you did let those past people 'get away'. The thing that you think is killing you, is in fact the thing that is setting you free to find and be with someone who truly will make you feel happy with yourself and in that relationship every day.

 

You can't see it now. No one can at the time it is happening. Despair is a hard thing to overcome, and forming new perspectives can be even harder.

 

It is easy to say "Life isn't worth living", but much harder to say "What can I do for myself to make life worth living?"

 

Don't rely on someone else for your happiness. Once you get to the point where you rely on yourself for that, you'll be ready to open your heart to a REAL Mr. Right.

[PinkToes]

Melissa, you will get through this. You WILL get through this. There will be a day when you feel OK again, I promise you. What he chose to do has absolutely nothing to do with the beautiful spirit you are.

 

And I will tell you, there is no one in this world who would be better off without you. No one. Not your family or friends. Not this man. And definitely not the man you will someday love, who is right now hoping and praying that someone like you will come into his life.

 

The pain you are feeling today WILL go away. Try to keep moving, take a walk, get some fresh air. You can get through this.

[gd26]

This guy was my life and the initial breakup was hard enough but to find out that there was someone else involved has destroyed me.

Im not good enough for anyone.

 

I am sorry for your pain. I know firsthand the pain and despair that comes with the loss of love.

 

What you need to realize though... is that the saddest thing about your experience is not losing him... it's that you have lost yourself to him. As you wrote about "This guy was my life". That means that you gave up YOUR life, your power to him.

 

This is what I myself have done in my past relationships. When I met guys they adored me for what a balanced witty intelligent person I was... but as I developed feelings for them, I stopped valuing myself and got all hung up on them. I became clingy and desperate. Then that started making me so much less attractive in their eyes... which is why they started running away from me. And worst of all, I became unattractive in my own eyes, which destroyed my self-esteem.

 

That is what you have done. Losing some jerk isn't the issue. It's you losing yourself which is really sad. You have forgotten to love yourself. You have put all meaning into what someone else thinks of you... instead of realizing that your confidence comes from within, and not what somebody else thinks of you.

 

You gave your life to him, so right now you don't have a life. Well, it's time to reclaim YOUR life back!!! Work on making yourself that confident, happy, balanced, healthy woman who loves herself and has a life... and I assure you, you won't have too many problems getting with quality men in the future.

 

Take a deep breath... wipe away those tears, and decide today to start loving yourself far more than you've ever done. Do whatever you need to do to relax... take a shower, read a book, call a friend, go shopping, whatever. Then tonight start journaling your thoughts about what it would take for you to really love yourself and make yourself the best person you can be. Write down your goals, and start making yourself into that beautiful ideal woman that you hope to be. If you need support or therapy, don't be afraid to reach out for human contact.

[sedgwick]

I have a hard time always comparing myself to my exes' new partners, or to their exes when I'm with them. It helps me to state concrete facts about who I am and who she is instead of saying "she's better than me." I feel like everyone is better than me, but when I try to really say why, that illusion sometimes shatters a bit. Why do you think she's better? And what's good about YOU that your ex will lose out on now that he's no longer with you?

 

I totally understand wanting to die after being left. I was dumped 17 months ago and my heart still aches constantly. I truly cannot imagine ever loving again, but I'm finding it within myself to want to live. You can too, I promise. I DO understand how you feel. You're not the only person who has ever had these thoughts.

[quankanne]

I'm not good enough for anyone.

 

Mel, honey ... the only person you need to be good enough for is you. Not some guy who doesn't appreciate or value you for the person you are.

 

yes, you're going to hurt, because you believed in what you had, but you know what? You will realize that this person was meant to be with you for a certain amount of time for a certain reason, a reason you need to figure out so that it can help you become the woman you're meant to be.

 

don't get so wrapped up in another person that it becomes your identity, because that's not healthy (or smart). There's a lot of good about you that the right guy will discover when he is meant to discover you. If you give in to thoughts of suicide, you deny the both of you from that special relationship. With that thought in mind, do you really want to waste your life by killing yourself before you even had the chance to experience the love that God, fate, the universe intended you to have?

 

you are someone very, very special, and somewhere out there is the person who is going to tap into that really fast, because he is meant to be the one you will share your love with for good. *smile* I can bore you with tales of being so in love with The One while I was in college, and then meeting Mr. Quank, and not figuring it out until we were married several years that this is where I was meant to be. I think love is often like that, giving us opportunities to grow our heart, to be hurt and to recover so that when it really happens for good, we know we've got what it takes to share that love for good.

 

hugs,

quank

[gd26]

Mel, honey ... the only person you need to be good enough for is you. Not some guy who doesn't appreciate or value you for the person you are.

 

yes, you're going to hurt, because you believed in what you had, but you know what? You will realize that this person was meant to be with you for a certain amount of time for a certain reason, a reason you need to figure out so that it can help you become the woman you're meant to be.

 

don't get so wrapped up in another person that it becomes your identity, because that's not healthy (or smart). There's a lot of good about you that the right guy will discover when he is meant to discover you. If you give in to thoughts of suicide, you deny the both of you from that special relationship. With that thought in mind, do you really want to waste your life by killing yourself before you even had the chance to experience the love that God, fate, the universe intended you to have?

 

you are someone very, very special, and somewhere out there is the person who is going to tap into that really fast, because he is meant to be the one you will share your love with for good. *smile* I can bore you with tales of being so in love with The One while I was in college, and then meeting Mr. Quank, and not figuring it out until we were married several years that this is where I was meant to be. I think love is often like that, giving us opportunities to grow our heart, to be hurt and to recover so that when it really happens for good, we know we've got what it takes to share that love for good.

 

hugs,

quank

 

Fantastic advice.