x3snorlax Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 Hi everyone!! this is my first post here x](this bunny thing is so adorable) my boyfriend and i been together for almost four months. weve known each other for a long time before that. and he gets really upset when i hug his friends(specifically this one friend).. and i only hug (and this is the most innocent of all hugs, no one is all up ons anything) them because he brought them around so much we all got to be friends. which i think should be a really good thing right? and its not just ALL guys. because i have many guy friends who i hug and i brought it up to him to try and figure out why it could bother him so much about HIS friends.. he says he just doesnt understand why cant we just not hug to make him feel better? but for me ive been in a controlling relationship before and had the same problem (but for all guys). my point is that wasnt healthy. i am not going to feel controlled because im just not okay with that. this is something i want to keep working very much but i cant let it become like my previous experience. how do i make us both happy?
Geishawhelk Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 How do YOU think you could make you both happy?
D-Lish Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 There is a HUGE difference between allowing yourself to be controlled and making concessions for your partner in order to keep the relationship happy. Your current boyfriend is NOT your ex, probably something important to remember. He has opened up to you that you hugging his friends makes him uncomfortbale... If my boyfriend confided in me something like this, I'd make things right immediately and just not hug his friends anymore. It would be really ridiculous to make a power struggle out of something so minimal. You want to keep hugging his friends out of spite? Makes no sense to me.
lkjh Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Agree with D-lish there is no need to start a fight over nothing
Author x3snorlax Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 WO who said there was a fight?? i wouldnt say it was so much as "confiding" as he was being really mean to the both of us and later i told him i really needed to talk about it. it really isnt a power struggle.. obviously i stopped hugging his friend.. what i mean by "making us both happy" isnt me "saying getting him to not care about me hugging his friends" my bf got straight up mad at me for hugging his friend.. and since it all hes been extremely passive aggressive to his friend. sound healthy?? whether or not he is my ex bf or not i have a problem with this. i AM NOT one of those ppl who displaces my old relationship frustration on my new bf. i know it sounds sort of small but i like him too much to let it slowly become a problem. i guess im thinking of it too much like a band aid but i legitamately still have a problem with this issue.. and if anything tell me why i shouldnt.. im really open to anything
lkjh Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Well if he doesn't have any other controlling habits then you shouldn't care about this. Plus you may not notice it but you probably act flirty with this friend even if its just friendly. You said it yourself; he really gets like this only with the one friend. A lot of girls do this without noticing.
Author x3snorlax Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 lol im always all huggy over my bf. i know the girl who is overly flirty, and i must say..i am the opposite.. honestly im so awkward x| but yeah il definatley try to look out for if it seems that way.. even if i know im not. but he does have some other controlling habits.. like when he wants to see me its almost like he HAS to see me and if i cant he really nags me about it we see each other everyday.. for hours. and i enjoy it its just how he expects me to change my plans for him.. and i already try to plan around him cuz i obviously like seeing him x] this all isnt tearing us apart or anything i just want some advice on how i should feel.. because initially with this friend stuff i was really angry even though i didnt show him that..
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