loveisconfusing Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 I know it is long. :/ Please read all. I need some feedback bad! OK. So I just discovered this site and figured I would spill the beans to help me with this breakup I have going on. So lets begin. Me and my ex have been basically on and off for 2 years. When things were good they were good and when they were bad they were not so good. We had a hard time dealing with each other's personal traits so to speak. The little habits we all have. One thing it always seemed as if I could never make this girl happy and I always tried. So anyways. We worked together. Starting dating. Then starting spending all of our time together. There was issues here and there but we really became close and seeked each other's company. She quit the job and had no job for a while had to move out of her place and moved in with me. I was basically covering everything but her bills. She lived with me 3-4 months and one day we got into a fight over the phone and when I came home all her stuff was gone with just the key left on the bed. No note no call no nothing. She wouldn't pick up her phone either. So after a few days she called me and left me messages and wrote a heartfelt letter. We ended up getting back together but she didn't move back in. About 1-2 months later I then moved across the US to another state to be closer with family. I was making these plans when she moved out and left me before. Some stuff also happened at my job and I wanted to quit so I figured I could go live back home temporary and be with family and then buy a house. The state I moved to was a lot cheaper for houses and the living was easier. We decided we would do the long distance thing. It was rough for the first month or 2 and we starting losing contact. I missed her and wanted her to be with me. She was unsure. I got my own place and finally convenced her to move out to where I was with me. This was about 3-4 months after I moved away from the state we were both in. When she moved out to me I was taking care of everything. All food, rent and most of her bills and all items needed. It seemed like she was just not happy. Like nothing could make her happy. So we fought here and there about it. And eventually it seemed like we would fight a lot. We also had a lot of good times. So it was not all bad. So I started thinking maybe this was not what I wanted and there were things that happened in the past I just couldn't get over. Like she started dating someone we worked with when we were on a break. And other things. So after 3 months with her living with me in the other state she says she wants to go back home alone to see friends for 2 weeks. This upsets me because I have been wanting to go on a vacation with her and it also felt weird so soon she wanted to do this. We got into a fight and basically broke up before she left. All her stuff was still at my house and we would see what we would do when she was gone. She when she left she went also to vegas with her friends and all this. This bothered me. She like she wanted to leave to go party with out me. So while she was gone I was upset about everyhthing thinking about things I could not get over and I basically pushed her away and basically broke it off with her. She then had her car shipped and I packed all her stuff and sent it to her. She never came back. So after being gone for a few weeks she called and also wrote me a letter. I missed her and she was telling me things I wanted to her. So we started talking regularly again but not together. Then something happened where I got upset with her and we stopped talking for a month. So since she has left living my place it has been 6 months. During those 6 months she has tried to get back with me and I never committed but told her I still love her and that I am moving back to where she lives. I basically told her I need to see her before I can make my decision. So the end of Oct and Beginning of Nov we started talking alot. And we were being all cuddly talkie and all that. Then one night we were on messanger and I got really tired. There is a 3 hour difference in where we live. She was not responding. So I told her on messanger I am going to bed. She called that night but I was asleep. So from then on I called her a few times but she never answered and she never called me back. Then finally after a text I sent her on Thanksgiving she responded but with something generic. So eventually after pestering her long enough to see what is going on I find out she is now engaged with someone. So less than a month after she is telling me she loves me, wants to marry me and have kids then she gets engages with someone. This was like 2 1/2 weeks after we talked and she told me stuff like that. She said it just happened. It was someone she knew back in jr high when she was 14. Now she is 27. So now I want her back. And she won't take me back. She is supposidly engaged but has no ring. I love her and want her back but I do not know what to do. I always felt like we would always end up together. I feel stupid because of my hesistation I am not with her now. I am the one that broke it off and waited to come visit her and tell her commitment. This is all so crazy. I thought I would have time to get over some things I was holding onto. Someone help me. I do not know what to do. She is telling me it is too late now and this and that.
BikerBeagle Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 It doesn't sound like she's left you with much of a choice ...cut her out of your life and move on. I don't say that lightly, I know how difficult it is, but you simply have to do it.
Author loveisconfusing Posted December 14, 2008 Author Posted December 14, 2008 Yea I know. But for some reason I have it in my mind I can get her back if I just try hard enough. I mean it is crazy to think after 2 1/2 weeks of her telling me she loved me and all that, that she would all of the sudden end up engaged out of no where. I think she is pushing me away but the love is still there. I would hate to go thru life thinking what if I didn't try harder to get her back... But then again I think... Do I really want this or is it because I don't have her anymore.
Author loveisconfusing Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Anyone? Anything? I know it is long... Need something.
Geishawhelk Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Bikerbeagle gave you all the good advice you need. Cut, run and leave it behind. Go complete and total all-round NC - and move on.
BikerBeagle Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Yea I know. But for some reason I have it in my mind I can get her back if I just try hard enough. I mean it is crazy to think after 2 1/2 weeks of her telling me she loved me and all that, that she would all of the sudden end up engaged out of no where. I think she is pushing me away but the love is still there. I would hate to go thru life thinking what if I didn't try harder to get her back... But then again I think... Do I really want this or is it because I don't have her anymore.It takes 2 people to make a relationship, so in the end, it doesn't make any bit of difference how 'hard' you try, she's already bugged out of the picture. You are right, it does seem 'crazy' ...because it is ...things are always crazy when you try to apply logical process to an emotional situation. You need to probably realize that this was not "all of a sudden", though. It was FOR YOU, but I can guarantee you, it wasn't for her. She's probably been 'working on this' for a while, quite likely while the two of you were together.
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