Lynx331 Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 Im in real situation here... I honestly feel drained of "life" inside me. A week an a half ago I broke up with my girlfriend, we talked some after the break up, didn't see eachother except for one time. Basically... I didn't approve of the way I was being treated.. And neither did ANYONE around me.. That includes parents, friends, family, and coworkers. All of them said I did the right thing by breaking up with her.. The night before yesterday I went and hungout with an old friend... She ended up kissing me because "I just looked so sad" which I thought about me ex through every second of it. She then tried to get me to have sex with her.. And quite literally I could NOT do it. After I left I called and told my ex about what happened because I believe in total honesty. She was upset, obviously, but I felt ok knowing I did the correct thing. We both decided on no contact after that. We didn't talk all yesterday until about 730 where I was histerical and broke down and texted her. She replied with meet me at 830, so I went and met her. She said I came here to say I forgive you for what you did, and I want to wipe our plates clean and try this again. We then talked about the problems we had, and how they would need to be corrected. She said that being without me for a week, and knowing I kissed someone else made her realize how much she really does love me. It all sounded sincere to me... She said she wants me to be the man she marries, she wants me to be the one she has children with, and grows old with. This is all well an good... But we did have talks like this before.. Granted it was only a day or so we were broke up those times... Now here is my problem... I don't even know what to do. Continued on next post.. iPhone is about to crash.. Now
Author Lynx331 Posted December 13, 2008 Author Posted December 13, 2008 I don't even know what to do.. I told my parents about what had happened. And they both think I am an absolute fool... My mom said she's a user, and a priss, and that if we get back together she is not invited to our family Christmas, and that she will be lucky to get a hi or a bye out of anyone in the family after the way she treated me. Now my parents are very likeable people.. And they are not mean whatsoever.. All my friends love them.. I am just absolutely floored by how upset they are about this. My mom even said maybe I need to talk to someone... And to be quite honest I am really really considering getting some professional help here... I just love her, and care about her, and think about her every minute of the day... my mom says that she uses me as a doormat, and that she ****s on me... But maybe she genuinely wants to make this work no matter what.. They say I changed so much and never did anything I wanted.. Which is not entirely her fault.. Because I never put my foot down and said hey this is what I really want to do.. I'm just lost everyone... I feel like the life is sucked out of me.....
BikerBeagle Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 You know, if all of your friends, family, and pretty much anyone you know agrees that your ex treated you like dirt and says it's a lost cause ...there has to come a point when you say, "hmm, they all might be right!". Your ex came back because she needs to have her hooks into you ...and finding out you are already kissing other girls (which, btw, what the hell were you thinking telling her?!?!) probably drove a control freak like her crazy. What do you need to do? Grow some testicles and man the hell up.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 This sounds like a man up situation. You started to move on and she was upset. That is not your problem anymore. She is not going to change. At least not in any way that will help you. Take it for what was. A relationship that had run its course and that you can learn something from and can grow.
Author Lynx331 Posted December 13, 2008 Author Posted December 13, 2008 How does she treat you bad? Everything has to go her way, I never got do to things I wanted, she would cAll me names, belittle me infront of my friends... Everything was always MY fault no matter what. Granted I never did put my foot down like I should have... I made another post a while ago explaining everything when I get home I'll paste the link to it on here. But we did talk about everything like adults and seemed to compromise very well.. But then she could be just telling me what I want to hear I guess... It sounded heartfelt and genuine...
x3snorlax Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 you know there is another girl out there who wants a guy like you and would treat you right.. i think the sooner you realize your going to be better without her, your going to feel a lot of self worth. and i think she might be a little insecure and feels like she needs to "keep" you around. you sound very understanding and sensitive.. and it seems like she might be taking advantage of that. p.s your parents are seriously worried about you.. they are more important then your mean gf, and they always will be. they honestly love you, and most likely wouldnt influence a personal choice on you if they didnt think it was best.
Dexter Morgan Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 All I can say is, if your momma doesn't like a gf of yours..........you better listen to yo momma.
The Collector Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Everyone is going to tell you to move on, but that's easier said than done when the object of your love is offering to come back. But is she willing to change her behaviour? Are you going to change your behaviour and not put up with her shenanigans and disrespect, even if it's going to be a daily battle? Chances are she's not going to be able to change, and may only have regained interest when you lost yours, but if I were you I'd have a talk with her first and get her to convince you to give her one more chance and that she'll change, etc. One hint of trouble and dump her and move on.
Author Lynx331 Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 You know, if all of your friends, family, and pretty much anyone you know agrees that your ex treated you like dirt and says it's a lost cause ...there has to come a point when you say, "hmm, they all might be right!". Your ex came back because she needs to have her hooks into you ...and finding out you are already kissing other girls (which, btw, what the hell were you thinking telling her?!?!) probably drove a control freak like her crazy. What do you need to do? Grow some testicles and man the hell up. Yea thats true, they could all be right. And i just told her because i am honest.. sometimes too honest.. So by man up you mean, leave her and stay away? Or if i take her back stand my ground? This sounds like a man up situation. You started to move on and she was upset. That is not your problem anymore. She is not going to change. At least not in any way that will help you. Take it for what was. A relationship that had run its course and that you can learn something from and can grow. There is really no chance for her to change? She came to me.. told me that it doesnt matter she wasnt going to let me walk away without a fight because she loves me.. and being with out me for almost two weeks made her realize what she had and how much she really did care for me.. and last night.. she actually went and talked to my parents.. and swallowed her pride and read a letter to them that she wrote, and then my mom "let her have it" alittle bit.. Now i really cant believe she did that.. that must have taken alot for her to do that. Her reasoning for doing that is she wanted to show me how much she loves me and cares for me... She seems sincere about wanting to work this out... is there really no hope for that? you know there is another girl out there who wants a guy like you and would treat you right.. i think the sooner you realize your going to be better without her, your going to feel a lot of self worth. and i think she might be a little insecure and feels like she needs to "keep" you around. you sound very understanding and sensitive.. and it seems like she might be taking advantage of that. p.s your parents are seriously worried about you.. they are more important then your mean gf, and they always will be. they honestly love you, and most likely wouldnt influence a personal choice on you if they didnt think it was best. Your right... they are very worried about me.. i just cant understand why i am still so, hooked on her. I love her... i just cant understand... You said the same thing that my parents said.. that there is someone out there that will treat me right.. is there even a chance that she now realizes and is willing to work with me on this?? All I can say is, if your momma doesn't like a gf of yours..........you better listen to yo momma. Even if that means leaving someone you love and care for?? Everyone is going to tell you to move on, but that's easier said than done when the object of your love is offering to come back. But is she willing to change her behaviour? Are you going to change your behaviour and not put up with her shenanigans and disrespect, even if it's going to be a daily battle? Chances are she's not going to be able to change, and may only have regained interest when you lost yours, but if I were you I'd have a talk with her first and get her to convince you to give her one more chance and that she'll change, etc. One hint of trouble and dump her and move on. Well if there is one thing i learned, i need to stand my ground on certain things.. but you really think chances are she wont be able to change? Id hate to go against my parents advice.. only to have it blow up in my face.. I just feel if i choose her.. its like im choosing her over my parents.. i really just feel so horrible about all of this.. it sucks.. its really bringing me down.. i really dont know what was is up anymore Thank you for everyone for replying.. i really appreciate it.. i feel so down and so lost.. and you all giving me insight.. is making this alot easier on me
BCCA Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Are you from San Francisco as well? I just noticed
Dexter Morgan Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Even if that means leaving someone you love and care for?? yes, cuz your mom can usually tell a snake in the grass where as we can't. And if you love and care for a snake in the grass, then you have your own problems. I wish I would have listened to mine in the early stages of dating with my xW. She tried to warn me, then backed off when it was clear I didn't want to listen.
Author Lynx331 Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 yes, cuz your mom can usually tell a snake in the grass where as we can't. And if you love and care for a snake in the grass, then you have your own problems. I wish I would have listened to mine in the early stages of dating with my xW. She tried to warn me, then backed off when it was clear I didn't want to listen. And did the relationship fail for the same reasons your mom pointed out to you in the beginning?
Dexter Morgan Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 And did the relationship fail for the same reasons your mom pointed out to you in the beginning? Well its all related. The R failed when I found out she had been unfaithful. But her narcissistic and immature character is linked to that.
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