Threesome Issue

[Fayth]

Hi All ^_^

 

In regards to a threesome with my boyfriend, I would like to know how your experiences went. We are trying to decide if it is best to go with a friend or a stranger.

 

We have a solid relationship, which is why I am not insecure about sharing the bed. However, there are a few drawbacks that I can see for both options.

 

I like the stranger idea because there is no attachment, but there is always the unknown sexual past. I like the friend idea because I trust her (yes, there is a potential taker), but I am worried about how this will affect our relationship afterwords. All three of us are good friends. Finally, I'm not sure how I will react to the threesome. I am turned on by the idea and would love to do this for my boyfriend, but I'm not sure how I would deal with the aftermath.

 

Help?

[BikerBeagle]

I am turned on by the idea and would love to do this for my boyfriend, but I'm not sure how I would deal with the aftermath.

 

Help?

If you are doing it "for your boyfriend", then you are already doing it for the wrong reason. If you are already wondering how you are going to feel about it afterwards, you probably aren't going to feel very good about it.

 

Listen to and follow your gut on this ...but, if you choose to go ahead with it, pick a stranger.

[norajane]

Have you given thought to the potential aftereffects?

 

- Bf may be so turned on, that he'll keep wanting to have threesomes often

- BF may be too into her and less into you during the threesome

- BF may contact her behind your back for a one-on-one

- You may get upset or uncomfortable or jealous during...will bf agree to stop?

 

 

Why does bf want this? Is it so he can have sex with 2 women, or because he wants to watch you have sex with a woman? Do you WANT to have sex with a woman, really?

 

Would bf agree to a threesome with another man? IF not, ask him why and consider his answers in connection with why you would do this for him.

 

Both friend and stranger have their drawbacks. Would you have sex with a man who is a stranger? If not, then why would you consider a strange woman ok?

 

What if your friend decides she's going to go after your bf and cut you out of the picture, or your bf decides to?

 

Basically, there are so many pitfalls, be prepared to lose your relationship with your bf or don't do it.

 

Threesomes are less risky if the three of you are acquaintances, but none of you are dating.

[Fayth]

If you are doing it "for your boyfriend", then you are already doing it for the wrong reason.

 

I'd be doing it because I find it a turn on in addition to pleasing him. What's so wrong about that?

 

Have you given thought to the potential aftereffects?

 

- Bf may be so turned on, that he'll keep wanting to have threesomes often

- BF may be too into her and less into you during the threesome

- BF may contact her behind your back for a one-on-one

- You may get upset or uncomfortable or jealous during...will bf agree to stop?

 

 

Why does bf want this? Is it so he can have sex with 2 women, or because he wants to watch you have sex with a woman? Do you WANT to have sex with a woman, really?

 

Would bf agree to a threesome with another man? IF not, ask him why and consider his answers in connection with why you would do this for him.

 

Both friend and stranger have their drawbacks. Would you have sex with a man who is a stranger? If not, then why would you consider a strange woman ok?

 

What if your friend decides she's going to go after your bf and cut you out of the picture, or your bf decides to?

 

Basically, there are so many pitfalls, be prepared to lose your relationship with your bf or don't do it.

 

Threesomes are less risky if the three of you are acquaintances, but none of you are dating.

 

If I didn't absolutely trust him 100%, I would not even have considered this.

He would stop if I was uncomfortable during.

I suggested the threesome. I would like to fool around with a woman.

Neither of us want a threesome with another man.

 

Sorry, I'm just trying to clarify this for myself. But I'm really starting to think no to the stranger idea.

[Lizzie60]

I am turned on by the idea and would love to do this for my boyfriend, but I'm not sure how I would deal with the aftermath.

 

This is a sacrifice that you are willing to make FOR YOUR bf.. not a good idea.. I don't think this will work, either with a friend or a stranger..

 

Unless you are NOT madly in love with your bf... I don't see how this can work.. I would never share someone I am IN LOVE with.. but with someone I'm 'best friend' with, it would be OK..

 

This can compromise your friendship with your female friend.. and even compromise your relationship with your bf.. what if you develop 'jealousy feelings' you never encountered before?? then what?

 

Is your bf also open to the idea of a threesome with another guy.. if not.. he's a control freak.. and that's not fair play...

[BubblyPopcorn]

My experience with threesomes, none. I view it as a representation of fantasy that involves a third person. I have entertained the idea in my mind on one or two occasions, but that’s as far as I would allow it to go. I would advise that you are both 100% certain going into that you can carry out that particular fantasy into real life.

 

Most people are not even IF they believe they are or could be. You will have to know what your limitations are, what his limitations are, what is negotiable and what’s not negotiable. In addition to that, there are limitations and principles of the third person. So, one could gather that there is a lot involved and a lot at stake, for the sole purpose of this particular fantasy. Will it be worth it? Therein is the decision and the answer.

[Cherry Blossom 35]

I have been the "third wheel" in this scenario a few times. You need to be prepared for what could happen here. In my case, I have done it with a friend who is bi, and is attracted to me. So she was getting something out of it it, too, besides just pleasing her bf. The thing is, the bf was very attracted to me and he talks about me to her, which sometimes makes her jealous. We have known each other forever so there are pretty clear boundaries. I would never go after her bf, and she knows that.

[Nemo]

It's wonderful that your boyfriend is prepared to make this sacrifice so that your relationship can fully blossom. I hope it becomes a regular thing, and be sure to change the "extra" from time to time to keep things fresh. A threesome is a valuable addition to any couple's sexual repertoire.