PandorasBox Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 This guy I have been seeing and a friend of mine and a new she has been seeing went out last night. We had a good time. However, my friends new guy kind of bothers me. I don't know him all that well and only been around him maybe twice within the past few months. My friend and I both have FB pages and so does her new guy. They both know I like certain actresses etc, so one day I get on my FB page to see a pic her new guy had tagged on my page of the actress, and someone had photoshopped the pic, and made her was very large. Of course her and her new guy made fun of it and asked me how I liked my favorite actress now, and I went along with didn't think much of it, after all is it was kind of funny. The thing is, he has now done this several times with different things, and they both have put pics up of me from parties and get togethers we all went to, that I didn't particular want put on there. Not because they are inapproperiate, but you know how when you put a pic up of yourself its usually ones you want to put on there that you feel look good or decent. I feel kind of embarrassed in a way with some of the things they say and put on there. At first I do think it was kind of funny, but now its kind of annoying, rude and makes me feel kind of bad. To top it off, its not just pics but its some of the things he says. I think he is meaning for them to be funny, but there is kind of like a sarcasam to them, if that makes sense. No, I haven't said anything to either one. The guy I'm seeing, even told me he picked up on some weird vibes from that guy as well, kind of like there was an underlying sarcasm or rude intent when he says/does things as well, but passes them off as jokes. My friend just ended a 5 year relationship back in the summer and I'm glad she is dating, again and its a guy she went to HS with. Of course she one of these types to that puts alot of time and energy into a guy as well and kind of looses herself. I guess my question is, should I say something to either him or her? Do I let it go and make out like what he is saying/doing isn't a big deal? Why do some people act rude/sarcastic but try to pass things off as a joke? I don't even really know this guy, so kind of weird to me.
Geishawhelk Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 You have three choices, here. You can approach your friend privately, and tell her that "Once it's a laugh, twice it's a giggle, but three times it gets irritating." Try to explain to her that you feel a bit belittled by it, and you don't understand why it's happening.... She will either apologise, tell you she didn't realise it was 'upsetting' you and she'll make sure it stops, or She'll ask you where your sense of humour is, and tell you to not be so stuffy. In which case, you'll know where you stand, with her. Your second option is to actually tell them flat out, as and when it's mentioned, that you find it childish and puerile, and you'd like them to cut it out, because obviously, you have a different level of humour. This may have the counter-effect and get them to do it more, because they know they've hit a nerve. Your third option, is actually to just smile, say nothing, and change the subject. By ignoring it and just making out that it doesn't really interest you, they may get tired of trying to bait you, and eventually give up. But you really mustn't react to it, however tempting it might be - otherwise it's a result as from option #2..... Remember that people learn to treat us according to our responses. We teach people how to treat us.
Author PandorasBox Posted December 13, 2008 Author Posted December 13, 2008 Thanks Geisha I appreciate those options. It was ok at first but yeah, irritating is probably a good word for it now. Why do you think some people like to pass their sarcasm off as jokes? I'm not saying he is full blown sarcastic but you can just tell there's that hint of arrogance/sarcasm in the words etc. Even the guy I'm seeing said he picked up on that too. It could be that's just the type of person he is maybe?
Geishawhelk Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 Sarcasm is often termed as the lowest form of wit. I also think people hide behind sarcasm to mask insecurity. What they attack, can't attack them. It's a case of throwing the first verbal punch. "Oh well, if it makes you feel bigger...." is a good response....
Author PandorasBox Posted December 13, 2008 Author Posted December 13, 2008 Sarcasm is often termed as the lowest form of wit. I also think people hide behind sarcasm to mask insecurity. What they attack, can't attack them. It's a case of throwing the first verbal punch. "Oh well, if it makes you feel bigger...." is a good response.... True. I like that response, and just might be what I say next time he "passes" something off a joke.
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