Christoph Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 Ok, i've lurked here for a while now and i finally decided to join because about 2 months ago i broke up with my ex. now, it's weird because we weren't together that long, and it was never going to be one that lasted forever anyway because i want to move to Portugal in a year and i dont expect i will meet anyone who wants to come with living in england. however, we broke up, she dumped me in fact, in what turned out to be a very messy breakup and even though i dont actually want to get together again i still cannot get her off my mind. i never got a reason for being dumped other than "im just not in the right place for a relationship right now".. whatever that means?! matters are further complicated by the fact that she is my supervisor at work. this has lead me to get in trouble on numerous occasions for being a dick to her. being in trouble isnt a big deal because im quite outspoken at the best of times and im usually clever enough to beat the manager in an argument and get off lightly, but the fact that even after 2 months i cannot get her off my mind is really starting to trouble me. honestly, shes a bit of a moron, shes very pretty, but nothing spectacular, shes clever but has no level of intellectual curiosity and in truth, she was more or less completely selfish and uncaring for the entire relatinoship.. so why am i freaking out!? ive slept with two girls and im kind of seeing another since the split so ive landed on my feet in that respect. but i heard today from a workmate that she slept with someone recently, and its made so ****ing angry! rationally, i cant complain. shes single and i have slept with people as well. now, part of me wants to find a new job. but i dont want to look like im running away with my tail between my legs after maintaining an arrogant wanker stance with her at work for the past 2 months. plus, i have friends there, play for the company soccer team and frankly, i cant be bothered to find a new job. i dont think friendship is really an option. im too bitter and honestly i dont think she would make a good friend. i think she is an attention seeker who would be happy to string me along again, picking me up when she needed me only being able to put in even less effort than she did when we were going out. i really just want to let go. and considering i dont even like her that much, it shouldnt be hard to do but im struggling! :S
Geishawhelk Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 Well, I'm glad you're outspoken - but so am I. I think there mnay be a situation here of you having control issues. You're articulate and intelligent, because you manage to come off better in an argument. Which I think pleases you. SHE broke it off with you, which, notwithstanding her reason, is a good thing, because flings, affairs or romances with superior work colleagues is not adviseable. I think this might jar on your nerves: She broke it off, you didn't. Which meant (coupled with her being your superior at work) that she got the upper hand. You've had flings since, but the moment she did, you got angry. Again, this is a control thing. It's ok for you, but for her..... honestly, shes a bit of a moron, shes very pretty, but nothing spectacular, shes clever but has no level of intellectual curiosity and in truth This is very patronising. It's an opinion, but it's only your opinion. And she's the boss of you. So she must have somethiung you don't..... All in all, your post is very critical. I suggest you also look to your attitude, because you don't ctually come across as very patient or tolerant. Oh, and.... Bring your move to Portugal forward.
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