jolly718 Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 I have been dating this girl for 4 years- we broke up just recently for (Not to sure of the resons??) I had an earlier thread if you really want to know the detaials.. But we are in concact and she is buying me a Laptop, plus a trip to Cancun Mexico before Xmas. This is alot coming from her.. I just cant let her buy all this and me not do anything.. Does anyone have any ideas, or suggestions on what i should get her for Xmas or should I keep (Game) and just do the bare minimum. Im still kind of confused why she would do all this but i dont want to be a bumb and not give her anything. She deserves something.. So please any Ideas is highly appreciated!!
curiousnycgirl Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 I don't understand why you are accepting these gifts from her.
norajane Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 If she is an ex, you should decline all gifts, especially something as extravagant as laptops and trips. If she is not an ex, you should still decline gifts that expensive. She can't buy your love, and you shouldn't sell yourself like that.
Geishawhelk Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 Agreed. It's very simple. The answer is - "thanks - But no thanks". Don't buy her anything. For whatever the reason - no matter what the reason - she's an EX.
Author jolly718 Posted December 14, 2008 Author Posted December 14, 2008 I appreciate all your inputs, but dont you think its a little harsh to not get her anything- Shes already booked the tickets bought the laptop and we are on good terms- This is all after a 4 year relationship- and still really dont know how to treat this- Shes not buying my love this is the way she has always been-- Although I am still not really sure why she would do all this after we broke up-- Thats why im posting this in the Second chances Forum- Does she want me back? Or does she just want to keep me for something?? I think the space has really made her think, but she still wants to keep the relationship like this- Please anymore pionters on this would be highly appreciated thankyou
Trialbyfire Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 jolly, the only person who knows for certain why she's doing this, is your ex, although in many cases, exes can be pretty emotionally fracked up too. Why not ask her? Does she know you want back with her?
norajane Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 I read your other thread...and, I don't really understand why you broke up. It sounds like she was busy with her internship, you took that to mean she was pulling back from you, you pulled back from her, things got awkward, she became disillusioned and was thinking you two wouldn't be able to work things out long term, you both agreed to give it a try, and then YOU broke up with HER. Then you didn't contact her and made no effort to let her know you cared about her at all. Now, she's giving you extravagant gifts. Do you even have a job at this point? You quit to move to HI with her for her internship...were you living off her money all this time? Where do you live now that you're broken up. None of this is adding up; it's not making any sense. I think you need to find your balls and decide what you want here. Do you want to get back together with her? Or do you want to stay broken up? Because YOU broke up with HER, and now she's offering you gifts. If you accept those gifts, YES, you should absolutely do something really nice and special for her. Those are not just random gifts she's giving you. You'd be an ass if you accepted them and did nothing for her. If you don't want to get back together with her, then you cannot accept those gifts. Don't be a freeloader.
tommiw Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 If you accept those gifts, YES, you should absolutely do something really nice and special for her. Those are not just random gifts she's giving you. You'd be an ass if you accepted them and did nothing for her. If you don't want to get back together with her, then you cannot accept those gifts. Don't be a freeloader. Wise words! It seems to me like she tries to get you back by buying gifts to you.
loveisconfusing Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 It sounds like she is trying to show you she still cares with the gifts. And to some people the higher the price tag the more they think it will mean and show that they care. I would feel bad rejecting the gifts. I would only get her something if you want too. But personally, I would get her something and this will probably go against what a lot of people say. But it sounds like she wants to get your attention. I would talk to her about it. Obviously it seems she wants to get back together.
Author jolly718 Posted December 14, 2008 Author Posted December 14, 2008 Thank you everyone for your replies- The thing is we broke up because she said there was no future in us. We are both 26 and I dont think she would tell me this to play games. This really stuck in my head and I dont want to be dragged along as some (Just in case) person. Her doing all this after the break up, makes me question alot of things. I really dont think she is to sure about the (us in the future) question. Ive asked her how she really feels and Im just not getting straight answers.
Trialbyfire Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 Thank you everyone for your replies- The thing is we broke up because she said there was no future in us. We are both 26 and I dont think she would tell me this to play games. This really stuck in my head and I dont want to be dragged along as some (Just in case) person. Her doing all this after the break up, makes me question alot of things. I really dont think she is to sure about the (us in the future) question. Ive asked her how she really feels and Im just not getting straight answers. Have you given her any straight answers?
norajane Posted December 14, 2008 Posted December 14, 2008 Thank you everyone for your replies- The thing is we broke up because she said there was no future in us. We are both 26 and I dont think she would tell me this to play games. This really stuck in my head and I dont want to be dragged along as some (Just in case) person. Her doing all this after the break up, makes me question alot of things. I really dont think she is to sure about the (us in the future) question. Ive asked her how she really feels and Im just not getting straight answers. Do you have a job? A career? She's doing an internship...do you have a degree? Do you have plans for the future? Have you discussed the future with her? Thoughts about marriage, children, a dog? You've been together 4 years. What was the point of your relationship? Where did you see things going with her? Did you ever tell her what your thoughts were about your relationship?
Diamonds&Rust Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 Accept the gifts graciously. Get her something nice and don't consider the cost.
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