spookie Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 There is someone I work with who's been inviting me out to s!ht - mainly happy hours, poker nights, and sports stuff. Usually I'm either the only girl or there's a couple of the other guys' gf's, but I never feel uncomfortable. I like him and his friends a lot and I really enjoy their company. Anyways... so I think he might like me. I kinda got that vibe before we even started hanging out - just from how nervous he used to get talking to me at the lunch table. Maybe I'm wrong - he hasn't been explicit - never made any moves or asked me out or anything. But that's what I suspect, with 95% confidence. I don't want to stop hanging out with him, but I know I don't want to date him, either. I've vowed I woudln't get involved again with someone I knew I couldn't love, and I'm just not that attracted to him - not to mention that I'm seriously in love with my boss. What does my behaivior need to be in this situation? I would really like to be friends, but I dread the moments we are alone because I'm always scared he'll eitehr try to kiss or tell me he likes me or something, and then I won't know what to do. I don't want it to be awkward.
Author spookie Posted December 13, 2008 Author Posted December 13, 2008 I want to revise what I said a little bit. While he's never asked me out on an actual date, he has asked me to hang out with him, alone. So far, I've either declined or flaked out on these invitations, hoping to avoid what I believe is the inevitable. Does it sound like I'm leading him on? Can I be friends with him without giving him that impression?
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 I would continue to hang out with him. At some point, you will probably have to have the uncomfortable talk. I would say something like "I just don't want to date right now, I'm focusing on work and having fun." or "I don't date people I work with" even though they aren't exactly true. That way he won't take the rejection personally and you still have the friendship and hanging out possibilities, if his ego isn't too shot.
BlueEyedGirl Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 Maybe you could hang out with him in front of the boss to make him jelous? Men like a bit of competition and it's bound to make you appear more desirable. As long as your flirting is not over the top because that will just make you look like a s$%t.
Author spookie Posted December 14, 2008 Author Posted December 14, 2008 We hung out again on Friday - another guy's night. Is it normal that all the friends I've made here have been boys? I'm definitely digging it, as it allows me to do what I do best - make dirty jokes as I drink - but a part of me wonders if I'm not interpreting my relationships differently than they are. Anyways, it was fun. There was a lot of talk about girls that happened, so I'm going to assume he just views me as a friend.
Recommended Posts