4givrnt4gtr Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 People, how would you feel or think about a girl (or guy) in your group of friends who has kissed/dated about half of the group at some point or another? Would you consider her a slut?
carhill Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 I might opine she's catching up on lost time Seriously, I don't know "group" dynamics, but, personally, if I didn't regularly eat dinner at their house(s) (or they at mine) and share important personal information, I'd consider them acquaintances rather than friends and wouldn't have any issues. If I were regularly groping my friend's wives/GF's, then, yeah, I'd be a slut and probably castrated
Gremio Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 I wouldn't say slut since you don't know if she was intimate with everyone, but I wouldn't want to be with her. She is very frisky and possibly permiscuous. I don't even drink after anyone. Know a woman kissed half the guys in the room disgusts me.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 well lets put it this way....and actually this is about me and Im wondering if im a whore on the DL and I dont know it. A. the "group" was an organization 12 boys 12 girls B. Of these 12 boys, over the expand of 5 years, #1. dated for a month, hell to pay afterwards. #2. kissed him to piss # 1 off, #3. "hanged out" with him for 6 months, never really dated but we did kissed many times. #4. was one of my best friends throughtout the time i was in the org. we both had just broken up with our R, bad place, too much alcohol, we made out. #5. Has been pursuing me for the past two months. Never really knew him very well until now. Very sweet guy though, not sure whats gonna happen there. Im just concerned that Im starting to look like i jump from guy to guy....Its really not my intention at all and I really dont want that kind of rep....but then does that mean i should steer clear of # 5??
carhill Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 To me, dispassionately, it's not about the group but how you handle dating and the signals that sends out. Re-read your post carefully and you'll see what I mean. The good news is you'll grow out of it. When that time comes, look for a good man outside the group
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 To me, dispassionately, it's not about the group but how you handle dating and the signals that sends out. Re-read your post carefully and you'll see what I mean. The good news is you'll grow out of it. When that time comes, look for a good man outside the group Well, the first three happened about 4 years ago....Definitely not proud of it.. The other two happened within the last year, i guess my friend had been sorta trying to tell me that he wanted more than just friends. But when pushed came to shove I realized he wasnt the type of man I want in my life. (Cheater, womanizer...not so much thanks) Now this last one Im taking it slow, I dont want to rush into anything and well at this point that "group" doesnt even exist anymore, as most have move onto another areas and even countries. I guess by "group" i mean, i met them all back then. Specially this new guy, I met him 5 years ago, he left the organization and havent seen him until a few months ago when he began to hang out with a friend of mine. THus why we're hanging out nowadays...
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 the signals that sends out. What signals am I sending out?
carhill Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 If I were to be honest, my first instinct upon reading was "chaos"....
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 If I were to be honest, my first instinct upon reading was "chaos".... YES!!! thats exactly how it feels!!! though i like to put it more as "hot mess" And you say this too shall pass???
movingonandon Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 People, how would you feel or think about a girl (or guy) in your group of friends who has kissed/dated about half of the group at some point or another? Would you consider her a slut? If i'm single at tht time, my thoughts would be "how can i get some sloppy seconds?". So it doesn't necessarily makes you a slut, but the group dynamics will be all fckd up.
carhill Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 And you say this too shall pass??? Yes, IME, it will. Chaos is an adrenaline stimulator and promotes feelings of giddyness/breathlessness sometimes mistaken for healthy excitement. Over time, one learns to separate out the emotions and their impetus and find a path more of long-term contentment. This is not to say that what you're feeling/doing is "bad". On the contrary, it's an important part of life experience. You'll look back in the future and be glad you went through the "hot mess" and learned from it
Star Gazer Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 I'm curious how numbers 2 through 5 were even okay with kissing you, seeing as you'd already dated number 1. Isn't there some sort of bro' code amongst men???
movingonandon Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 I'm curious how numbers 2 through 5 were even okay with kissing you, seeing as you'd already dated number 1. Isn't there some sort of bro' code amongst men??? There is, but it doesn't apply to sluts
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 I'm curious how numbers 2 through 5 were even okay with kissing you, seeing as you'd already dated number 1. Isn't there some sort of bro' code amongst men??? well # 1 hated # 2, #3 didnt know #1 or 2 very well...actually i think #2 had already left the group when number #3 came in. Number 4 is tricky as he was indeed #1s roommate and my best friend...that one was just out of wack altogether. # 5 left the group very early so he doesnt know 2 or 3. BAssically none of these guys were actually friends with each other. We just happened to all work and live in the same place.
Star Gazer Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 There is, but it doesn't apply to sluts Yowch... But that IS true. I suppose they defined you already, OP.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 There is, but it doesn't apply to sluts So are you saying I am a slut?
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 You know....again i go back to maybe im not so worried as to how other people see me but more as how Im seeing myself. In one hand...5 out of 12?? really though? have some self restrain for the love of god! In the other hand I have honestly cared for all of these guys (except maybe for one) at one point or another. 1 crushed me like nobody's business. We dated for a month, then he dumped me saying he felt like he was using me and actually liked someone else. I was a mess over him for over a year. At the end of that year 2 came in, right at the time 1 and I kissed again, i thought we would get back together but instead a few days later he was dating someone else. When i found out I kissed 2 to pissed 1 off (young and stupid people). It worked but also backfired. A year later #3 came in, we hit it off right away and hanged out a lot. he didnt know 1 or 2 but i told him what happened and he said he was ok with it, we decided to be "friends". Still, a few times we kissed drunk. 6 months later of a lot of hanging out he decided he wanted to date my roommate. #4 was #1 roommate. He was the one who told me #1 didnt really like me all that much. We became very close friends for 5 years. I often wondered about some things he would say to me but often brushed it off. He was very attractive but I knew him to be a bit of a flirt. THis past year my 1.5 year boyfriend cheated on me. #4 was there the whole time, though his comments intensified a lot. One night we ended up kissing but i didnt know what it all meant. THat ended up very messed up. #5 was in the group before i came in and left in less than a year after i came in. I didnt know him well and didnt see him again until october of this year. Again he never met 2 or 3 and barely knew 1 and 2 before he left. HE told me in October he liked me since he first met me 5 years ago but he was in a relationship so he never said anything then and ofcourse later we lost touch. I guess its not as bad as i think it is...its just weird situation all around
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 I think they meant the men (are sluts).... Hm I think he actually meant men dont bother with the "Bro's Code'' when it comes to sluts
Dexter Morgan Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 People, how would you feel or think about a girl (or guy) in your group of friends who has kissed/dated about half of the group at some point or another? Would you consider her a slut? Depends. Is it half of 40 people in the group, or half of 6?
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