Share your experiences...

[alwayssme]

I'm pulling an all nighter..just thought I'd take a little break...

 

What I would like to know I guess is your guys experiences with your relationship that ended...I dont know why but i just keep feeling like "Oh but our relationship was so great, he loved me so much" (it was great and he did but then things changed) I console myself by saying that everyone must have shared alot of the things me and my ex shared and felt hurt when it ended...why do i feel like my case is so different? LOL i guess i just want to hear your guys experiences about how it was when you were with your ex, how the break-up happened and how you're dealing with it. It helps to hear different stories so feel free to share anything you like.

 

 

Now back to studying for my exam tomorrow!

[hereandnow]

I started dating my ex gf in the beginning of April after having hung out a few times. It was my first relationship, even though I was 26. She's 33. We hit it off really quick, and moved pretty fast. From the beginning she was always saying what great chemistry we had, that she felt more of a connection with me than she had her ex, who had broken up with her Jan. 1. And she had been with him 5 years!

 

At first I was concerned I might be a rebound, but things kept going so well. We took trips together, rode out a hurricane together, everything was great. The only thing we ever argued about was politics, and that really wasn't that bad. Honestly, she opened my mind, and she said that I opened hers.

 

Anyway, we talked about moving in when our leases were up, we had talked about the future some, I was really feeling good about the whole thing. Then one week it went from her wanting me to come over almost every night to her not wanting to hang out as much. She talked about slowing down, etc. A couple weeks later she said she wanted a break for a month or so, and she didn't know if we would come back together or not. This was late October.

 

I was pretty much destroyed for a while, and it is still hurting pretty bad. I can't say that I've had a good day since. The longest time I've managed to go NC was 9 days, heck, I left her a message yesterday. I'm probably averaging talking or running into her 2 times a week.

 

That's my story!

[Growingup]

ugh after reading my story I decided it's really lame screw it

[Mr. Angry]

I was seperated from my spouse for three years, after being fired from my job due to drug abuse. I was bottomed-out, and she asked me to leave some weeks prior to my termination at work which actually was a resignation. During the seperation I moved to Miami, Florida which was something we had discussed doing prior to the job loss; so I announced that I was moving, and we agreed it might be best for the family. After I got settled I invited her to come down with me, perhaps six months after leaving our hometown, a 24hour drive. Her reply was that she was moving to another city in the opposite direction from our agreed relocation with our two children. I became angry. She had recently graduated college a avenue I encouraged her to take; and supported her through it until my demise in the drug-culture. Nevertheless, I recovered from my addiction and moved to where we are now after three years of seperation. During the seperation I had it rough, it was challenging, but I made it. So, in 1994 I returned to my family, no longer the bread winner, and humbled myself, accepted the situation as it was. My spouse told me that whatever happened while I was in Miami was none of my business because we were seperated. Also, that she had no relationships with anyone significant, or who would feel significant, because she didn't want to expose the children to men who may not be a canidate to be prominent in their lives. Ofcourse that turned out to be false. In a city of 300,000 these men have surfaced one by one at different occasions they know me, my wife and my children; but, I don't know them. Meanwhile back at the ranch I'm angry not openly but still I'm haven't let it go. Don't think I fully can. I feel cheated because I believed her and she was more concerned about her pride than my emotions, and the children played along with her because they didn't want to hurt me, and she doesn't seem to realize they may recent her; and I don't encourage the recentment but it has to be there. More than likely for both of us. Now we have grandchildren. What a mess. response.....

[EmperorR]

I was with my ex for three years we met at a friends party, she had just moved from Europe to Canada and thought I was cute. Started dating about a month later. She barely knew English so it was hard to talk to her etc. But I managed.

 

We were together for 3 years I did everything for her I guess I was a doormat I taught her English, she was struggling in

university so I told her to quit work and I

looked after her yeah I was dumb.

 

I'm on my iPhone so I'll keep it short, we got

engAged earlier this year everything was

going good no fights etc., her grandparents

were getting sick so she had to go back to

see them one more time, before she left she

was crying begging me please don't forget

about me And please don't cheat.

 

 

First week away we tLked everyday sent emails, always said we loved each other, then she told me one day she's hanging around with her friends friend. I asked if it

was a female but she nver said anything. I noticed the emails stopped saying I love you but I thought nothing of it at the time.

 

So she comes back and tells me that she cheated on me and I asked what do you mean as in kissing and she said no sex 3 times, and the guy was so sweet because he drove her around and bought her flowers. Of course me being stupid wanted we back and friend everything but nothing worked she dumped me, and a week later found a new guy at her school.

[EmperorR]

Oh ya also to add thanks to me she knows English now, has a teachers assistant job, her cats not dead, also I wrote a essay for her and she got a 5k scolarship for it. And also she still has my 3k engagement ring I gave her, but I refuse to break nc to get it back. My sanity is more important.

 

So in the end I did everything for this women travelled hours to see her and never complained even if it was for only ten minutes. But what doesn't kill you mAkes you stronger and I have learnt Alot bout myself.

[justletgo07]

My ex and I met when I started as an RA in her dormitory. We fell head over heels for each other. We were together for 2.5 years, and the last 9 months were pretty rough. In January, she began studying for the MCAT, which took up a great deal of her time and attention, and rightfully so. She had been up front with me that she would not be able to put as much effort into the relationship during that time, and that if we were to stay together, I needed to be understanding of this. I told her I would be, but it proved much harder than I ever expected. This led to us fighting a lot, and she felt very pressured by me, which just added to the tremendous pressure she was already feeling in her life.

 

Things came to a head in late September when we had a fight caused by me looking for reassurance and being overly sensitive to her reactions. She said that she "couldn't take it anymore" and broke up with me. I begged, pleaded, cried, etc. She requested NC for one week, which I agreed to. A week later she contacted me, we ended up hanging out...and hooking up.

 

The next day she felt guilty and said she felt like she had led me on...which crushed me. We staying sort of pseudo-together for another week or so before I got the "It feels different this time. I love you more like family" After this, I tried to be cool and aloof, letting her contact me. She contacted me every weekend for about 4 weeks, each time late at night, when she was out drinking, and it was either just a "what are you up to" or requesting a favor (coming to see her because she didn't feel well, or taking her to get her car because she was too drunk to drive the night before).

 

It finally reached the point about 4 weeks ago that I decided I couldn't do it anymore, and I told her that I don't think she and I should talk anymore, and that we can't be friends right now. I told her that I am still heartbroken, and that I wanted to either get back together, or get over her completely. She seemed sad about my decision, but told me she'd respect it. It's almost been a month since we've talked.

 

I still think about her everyday, but it is slowly getting easier. A big part of me hopes she'll change her mind and come back, but I know I need to just let go and move on.

[light2]

Me and my ex broke up roughly 5 days ago. She broke up with her ex after moving to my country for University because she said he was too far and couldn't do anything for her. (She's from China) At that point i should of known better but I didn't.

 

After 3 months and a broken leg, we finally broke up. We had our fights during my broken leg period but she stuck by me. Once my leg healed and could walk, I noticed she would talk to guys on the phone and msn them while smiling like she was really into the conversations.

 

When my leg was broken, she would consistently hold things against me like how i couldn't walk her from class to home and how i couldn't bring her on dates. But once my leg healed, and i offered to walk her to class she would refuse and even got angry once. That coupled with phone calls and MSN messages aroused suspicion in me. The final straw was she wouldn't let me walk her to her seat in library when we were literally 2min away. (we argued outside library for 15min) So here i am thinking, ok i want to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you seem to be hiding me from people and she got angry and we broke up after that.

 

We had ALOT bigger fights but she always came back but this time, it seems she has found a replacement. Her msn name is already telling another guy to come to her quickly...... (yes... we broke up 5days ago!!)

 

After my break up, I would think maybe its my fault and that i owed her.. but after seeing how she is already trying get at other guys THIS early after the break up... I finally come to realization that what we had wasn't that significant afterall and that my suspicions were justified.

 

anyways that my entire break up story.

 

EDIT: Wow after reading emperor's story i could relate.. but i guess mine wasn't as serious. I wrote her an essay too... ahhahahah hope she fails it.. ^^

[DSM-IV Tom]

Damn emporer I'd never hit a woman but I would hit your ex. Real hard. You are the man

[EmperorR]

Damn emporer I'd never hit a woman but I would hit your ex. Real hard. You are the man

 

lol, I dont know how I stayed with her so long must have been blinded by love, at one point I was going to dump her, but she cut herself so i stayed then I fell in love with her. I was probably the biggest doormat in existence, I guess thats the only thing that hurts and stings now, is how this person would have been nothing without me. And now she's top 5 in her whole program at university, got a scolaship thanks to me, has no debt thanks to me, can speak english thanks to me, and in the end some guy she just screwed and some guy she just met at school she respected them more than me.

 

 

The last time i contacted her, I just asked how her cat and grandparents were and she messaged me back forget about us, and that was that. I'll nevr speak to her ever again, not to mention she sent me a text on what would have been our 3 year anniversary like the day was reverence to her I just deleted that crap. I'm past the anger hating her stage now, accepted it as a obstacle in the road and moved on. Some part of me wishes she has a horrible relationship with everyone from now on, but then that means she'll try contacting me so the other part of me hopes that she finds someone good and stays with them so she never ties contacting me ever again.

[DSM-IV Tom]

Emporer think of it like this.

 

 

You may have given her some fish.

 

But you didn't teach her how to fish.

 

You have fed her hunger for now but it will come back.

 

YOU'RE the one who knows how to fish. You know what I mean?

 

You're the talented one. You'll shine brightest in the end.

 

If I ever see your ex I'll clock her in the face LMAO!!!

[Oscar51]

My experience...

 

Met a girl August 2007. Dated til' November 07. She gave the usual, "I only see you as a friend." Broke up. She instantly started dating an absolute tool. I ignored her for a month, she came back.

 

We were together til' September 08. We became long distances as I had graduated and she was heading back to school. It was about 3 months of long distance, which BLOWS. Long story short, I guess I became a little needy and smothering b/c the distance was hard to handle. However now that I look back on it, she never was "that into me." We said I love you to each other. I wrote love letters to her to try to keep the spark going since we never saw each other. However these letters seemed to become to much for her to handle. As she slowly started to drift away. After reading multiple posts about peoples situations, it seems she was using that "drifting" period to find a way to break up with me. Trust me, a girl won't break up with you "out of the blue." She has been pondering it for quite some time.

 

Anyways, she became extremely hot/cold towards me. She dropped the I love you, but I'm not in love with you. She also dropped the, "I feel I only stayed with you this long because I felt sorry for you." She also dropped, "It'll take a lot of miracles to put us back together." But the said when she dumped me that she "believed FATE would put us back together." (A way to keep me hanging on a string I believe) I was such a doormat, if I was anywhere as strong as I am now, I would have slapped her in the face when she said the I feel sorry for you line.

 

Haven't heard from her since really. Got a instant message on Fbook from her saying, "Hi Stranger." I was like you hooker, we wouldn't be strangers if you hadn't of requested it! Other than that she has made no real effort to contact me at all. As I Say, "You won't find no body better than me."

 

What I took away from the situation. She never looked at what she had with me. She only looked at what I didn't give her. Which in turn killed our relationship. I was just to much of a pussy to ever stand up to her. But I hope I get that phone call one day so I can lay in to her. That day may never come, but I honestly did love her and I don't think she'll ever find anyone that will treat and take care of her like I would have. So her loss.

[IcemanJB]

I met my ex a year ago TO THIS DAY (just noticed that). I'm probably going to regret retelling the story...but oh well! Anyways, we got along great right away, there was something there. She's very awkward and gets anxious easily, but I find that cute. Physically I think she's so incredibly cute; I just can't help myself. Ha anyways, for the first few months we just talked frequently, went to a few movies, bowling, etc. I didn't think she was that interested in me; I later found out she was scared to make it known because she was afraid of what my sister would think (they're good friends)! Then she went back home for the summer and we could only talk. She came back here a couple times over the summer to visit her friends here, and we again hit it off. Finally she came back here for good for school, and things exploded. My sister is one of her best friends, and my sis basically told her "you have the go-ahead for my brother!" haha. The ex was over here pretty much every day towards the end of summer, and well into the school year. Things were amazing, I was so happy with her, and she said things like that to me. Our first kiss was something I will never ever forget. WOW. Blows every other first kiss out of the water...

 

Then one night she came over in tears. She said she had been thinking a lot that week, and basically went into a string of things that she had been thinking. It didn't make sense, mainly because she was so nervous/scared/sad that she could hardly talk. I had to tell her to just relax for about 30 minutes before trying to talk. I was so incredibly confused and sad. She still couldn't quite explain what was bothering her; I think because she wasn't exactly sure herself. I told her to just SAY we're done, but she couldn't do it. Eventually I just told her to take her stuff and leave. Hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

 

She came over about 4 days later; I was hoping to get some answers. Instead she tried to not cry, but that lasted about 15 minutes and she just cried in my arms the rest of the night. She would frequently let out a "I want to be with you so bad." To this day I'm not entirely sure why she needed to break up, but I'm done guessing. My best idea is she really does in fact need to be single; she doesn't know how to make herself happy. She said things like "I've never put myself first in my entire life...I feel so happy and awesome when I'm with you, but feel awful when I'm away from you. Especially when I go out with your sister and friends; I'm so afraid of what you think." Of course I told her I don't care (I don't!), but she couldn't accept that. She hates getting compliments and I think has some self-image issues. This is something she definitely needs to take care of; I told her it's not my responsibility for her happiness, and she needs to do that for herself. She agreed. Walking her home that night was the saddest moment of my life....oh man, I knew I shouldn't have typed this out...

 

After that she would contact me a lot for the next several weeks. It was REALLY hurting me, so I told her to please stop. I'm on day 19 of NC with her right now.

 

I really don't know; I'm trying to just let it go, because I'm so confused and get sad every time I think about it. I know she isn't seeing anyone right now, which makes me believe that MAYBE she really does need to be single, and wasn't using that as a stupid excuse...whatever, I'm really trying to move on now. It still sucks though!

 

EDIT: I just realized while typing this that I would not have done anything different in regards to her; I also do not regret dating her in the last bit. I need to embrace this...

[confused_2008]

Wow, Iceman, that's a really sad story. I feel for you man and you seem like a great guy. Sucks that it had to happen but you seem to be handling about as well as you could be.