larissatbow Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Hi I have 2 kids ages 3(girl) and 2 month old boy and my fiancee has a 8 year old boy. He comes to stay with us every second weekend. I'm a pretty young mom to begin with and i find it very hard and stressful when he comes over....He's a great kid but i tend to treat him differently then i do with my 3 year old....I don't think i treat him differently i'm just going by what he said to his mother...now since he's not my child i don't have to much of a say with him...and i go nuts cause i don't know what to do i am nice to him, i do as much as i can to make him happy...I feel upset sometimes when he is down because i feel like hes taking my time away from my fiancee and time away from my kids too...We don't spend much time together as a family to begin with, so it really hurts me. I have all kinds of feelings about this situation and i don't know how to cope with it all.
2sure Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Its tough for awhile, but dont lose hope. As you said, you are a young Mom and you know by now that parenting all comes down to experience. Your kids are so very little and require so much of you, that adding ANYONE to the mix for even a short time may leave you feeling overextended. Thats ok and its fair. As to the 8 year old, they can be like that. I'm sure he feels like the little ones are getting ALL the attention - because they are! He doesnt have the benefit of living there all of the time so he has no place yet in the dynamics. Because he isnt there much, it is your and your husband's job to find a place for him. I know it is very difficult with your hands full - but this boy is going to need some one on time with each of you. Especially since his siblings are so much younger than himself. My daughter lives with me and my new H. She visits her Dad and his long time gf every other weekend. I dont get along with either one of them - and it took my daughter a few years to accept the gf. But now, she does and loves her . I believe the gf accepts my daughter, and enjoys her - so I dont care that we dont get along (AND it makes it easier for me to try!).
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