audiojunky Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 I am a musician/teacher who is continually fighting the battle to pay attention to my art while keeping myself energized and happy. The teaching is very demanding, and I enjoy the work. If you were to ask me if I were happy, I would say yes, but I have a long way to go before I feel that I have arrived at a point where I want a wife or family. Lately I've started seeing someone new and while I've enjoyed our time together, I'm kind of getting a feeling that she is anticipating something way more serious than I have planned. It has given me a very strong uneasiness about putting myself into a committed situation with her even though I enjoy the time I spend with her... which leads me to my question: Do you think that not being 100% happy with your career and daily habits have the potential to make a person uneasy about settling into a serious relationship? I've been wanting something a little more serious than seeing/dating for a while now... (I've been single about 4 years, and I'm 30) ...and now that I am in that situation to have it I am not feeling that strong pull to actually make it happen. I like her a lot, but I'm not quite sure what it is about her or myself that makes me hesitant. Thanks for the response...!
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Yes, men seem to have this problem more than women. They feel like they need to be at a certain point in their careers/lifestyles before they settle down. I think you need to throw away the "shoulds" and enjoy the "what ares". You have a lovely woman in your life and you're enjoying the relationship. What is making you afraid to commit to something more serious? Is it really your job, or is that a cover for something deeper?
CommitmentPhobe Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Oh I really hear you on this one. I stopped battling it and realised that I'm not trying to get to a "stage" in my career, I just put it first.
refurb Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Do you think that not being 100% happy with your career and daily habits have the potential to make a person uneasy about settling into a serious relationship? Absolutely. I'm in that situation right now. I'm looking to go back to school and make a career switch and that is the most important thing to me right now, everything else takes a back seat. I was dating a girl this past summer and let it peter out because I knew it had no long term prospects even if we did click. I prefer to keep my options open and staying single is the best way to do that (right now). RF
Lovelybird Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 If this girl is right for you, you would know deep down, and nothing can prevent you from having that convincing, this is an advise a dear friend gave me. If you are not sure, then try best not to lead her on, straight communication is very important. If she doesn't press you, it is the best that both of you just enjoy each other's company. when time is right, it would be natual I believe It's up to you to find out what on earth you want from life
Charles1978 Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Do you think that not being 100% happy with your career and daily habits have the potential to make a person uneasy about settling into a serious relationship? In a word... yes. I find myself in the exact same situation. Lately, I've let so many opportunities for relationships pass because of this that it has me doubting if I am doing the right thing. I've been struggling with this A LOT. But to this point, I still think I am doing the right thing. Although I have been doubting it recently.
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