blazkowicz Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Personally, I don't believe in "Premarital Abstinence" thingie. Well, the whole idea is pretty sweet, but I just don't think it's gonna work unless you're incredibly lucky. According to some people who have successfully saved themselves for marriage, all they could do was keeping their fingers crossed that their sex lives would be not disappointing after marriage. One day on the internet, I found this poor Christian man who had saved himself for marriage and his wife turned out to have no libido at all. He was trying to use bible verses to defend himself from watching porn...(which made no sense after all) I thought it was pretty pathetic. That's the only concern. Marriage is not all about sex, but sex is definitely a huge part of marriage(at least to me.) I think saving yourself for marriage is like buying clothes online. You go to a local mall, pick up a piece of clothes and say "Argh... some people might have worn this before me. I'd rather go to an online store and buy a brand new piece that's never worn before." So you go to the internet and buy a piece of clothes... Then you have to wait like 6 days to receive it... Then it turns out to be too small and you don't like the design. Congratulations, you just opened a can of worm. Now you have to call the customer service and file a return, then go to USPS and send the package(pay the shipping fee from your own wallet) then it takes roughly a month to confirm that you have your money back in your bank account. It would have been a lot easier if you bought your clothes from the mall in the first place. So I'm still wondering... I'd like to save myself for marriage, but there is no guarantee I'll be happy with my sex life. Would you like to give me some thoughts and answer my questions? 1) How do I know if I'm sexually compatible with one person without having sex? (I happen to have a small penis. I don't wanna be throwing a hotdog down a hallway for the rest of my life) 2) How do I know if one person's sex drive matches mine without having sex? 3) Is there such a thing as "a beautiful virgin girl with high sex drive over 18?" You know any person like that? Thanks.
berrieh Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 1) How do I know if I'm sexually compatible with one person without having sex? (I happen to have a small penis. I don't wanna be throwing a hotdog down a hallway for the rest of my life) 2) How do I know if one person's sex drive matches mine without having sex? 3) Is there such a thing as "a beautiful virgin girl with high sex drive over 18?" You know any person like that? Thanks. 1.) You probably won't know. How could you know without ever sleeping with them? Depending on how far you go, you could have some indications... 2.) You don't. Again, depending on how much you fool around, you might have some indications. 3.) I've never met one, but it's possible there is. You shouldn't have sex until you're ready. Period. Whenever that is.
Gremio Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 You shouldn't have sex until you're ready. Period. Whenever that is. I absolutely agree. People can decide to do remain a virgin of they like, but they need to understand that people are sexual beings. They can very well get married and hate their sex life afterwards. Sex is a very important part of a relationship.
GoneButNotForgotten Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 1) There is no way to know about the compatibility. Everyone is different in bed. As for the throwing a hotdog down a hallway I highly doubt it. Most guys fear they are small and all that. Besides if you learn other techniques it makes it even better anyways. 2) Sex drive is hard to judge. It really depends on how much "heavy petting" type activity you do before hand. That is about the only way I could think to really guess it. Other than that its a crap shoot 3) I can think of two. Granted they are no longer virgins. (no it wasn't me who got to do it) but then again I think they just hit the point that they were ready. I commend you for what you are trying to do. I personally couldn't take the chance. Sex may not be everything to a relationship. To me though, without it would be a hell of a strain even on an otherwise perfect person. I will say this though. Many times having an emotional and deep connection with the person can make it so much better even if it wasn't pornstar type hot. The act is heightened tremendously when it is someone that you love. Then again I may just be odd in that I never found a girl good in bed for a one night stand.
elaina Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Personally, I don't believe in "Premarital Abstinence" thingie. Well, the whole idea is pretty sweet, but I just don't think it's gonna work unless you're incredibly lucky. According to some people who have successfully saved themselves for marriage, all they could do was keeping their fingers crossed that their sex lives would be not disappointing after marriage. One day on the internet, I found this poor Christian man who had saved himself for marriage and his wife turned out to have no libido at all. He was trying to use bible verses to defend himself from watching porn...(which made no sense after all) I thought it was pretty pathetic. That's the only concern. Marriage is not all about sex, but sex is definitely a huge part of marriage(at least to me.) I think saving yourself for marriage is like buying clothes online. You go to a local mall, pick up a piece of clothes and say "Argh... some people might have worn this before me. I'd rather go to an online store and buy a brand new piece that's never worn before." So you go to the internet and buy a piece of clothes... Then you have to wait like 6 days to receive it... Then it turns out to be too small and you don't like the design. Congratulations, you just opened a can of worm. Now you have to call the customer service and file a return, then go to USPS and send the package(pay the shipping fee from your own wallet) then it takes roughly a month to confirm that you have your money back in your bank account. It would have been a lot easier if you bought your clothes from the mall in the first place. So I'm still wondering... I'd like to save myself for marriage, but there is no guarantee I'll be happy with my sex life. Would you like to give me some thoughts and answer my questions? 1) How do I know if I'm sexually compatible with one person without having sex? (I happen to have a small penis. I don't wanna be throwing a hotdog down a hallway for the rest of my life) 2) How do I know if one person's sex drive matches mine without having sex? 3) Is there such a thing as "a beautiful virgin girl with high sex drive over 18?" You know any person like that? Thanks. Hmm. Interesting. Well, I was a virgin until I got married at 23. (I'm 31 now.) The reason I waited is because I believe doing so is a way to honor God. (God is very important to me and no I'm not perfect at all but this was my decision.) Yeah it was hard to do but when I was a teenager it was highly amusing watching guys run when I told them I wouldn't have sex until I got married. I knew that my exhusband and I were sexually compatible just by our chemistry without having sex. I guess for other people it is hard to know, but I didn't worry about that one bit. My exhusband was a mujeriego (womanizer) before me but then he accepted my belief before even meeting me and he liked that I was a virgin. No I didn't mind that he wasn't... I was not particular one way or the other. I was just particular that he believed the same as me at the time. The past is the past. So, our honeymoon was really awesome!!! It freakin hurt the first time!!! I even asked him to stop cause i never imagined sex would hurt so much and I was bleeding and freaking out. He wasn't worried and we fell asleep and the next time we tried, we succeeded!!! Yeah!!! I didn't freak out and it was AWESOME!!! We had sex at least once every day for about 5 years, except for when I was in my period. We did not get divorced over our sex life! We got mad at each other a lot (though he never hit me or said anything too terribly mean to me) but we used sex as a way to make up.. which was cool. The problem in our marriage was that he is a perfectionist and I was incredibly immature and I wish I had worked things out instead of divorcing him. Anyways, to answer your questions... 1) ok... good question. ? I honestly don't know. 2.) Ask how much she thinks about sex and how many times she wants to a day? If I get married again, if the guy doesn't want to have sex with me at the least every other day, then there's no way I'm going to date him. What for? Ask up front! 3.) Yes, but they are normally religous too. There may be beautiful virgin girls that are not religous, but it seems to be more of a trait of those who decide to wait till marriage cause they believe that's what pleases God.
MexicanBillBacker Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Sex is overrated Yeah its pretty cool and everything but I just don't get what all the fuzz is about I'd much rather have a stable relationship with a girl I enjoy being with than having sex every night If you wanna wait till you're married then God Bless you Sex is cool but there are other things in life that are much better like Love and the Buffalo Bills, and smoking a cigarette and then taking a ****
Gremio Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Sex is overrated Yeah its pretty cool and everything but I just don't get what all the fuzz is about I'd much rather have a stable relationship with a girl I enjoy being with than having sex every night If you wanna wait till you're married then God Bless you Sex is cool but there are other things in life that are much better like Love and the Buffalo Bills, and smoking a cigarette and then taking a **** I agree that sex is not everything, but nothing is better than being in love and making love to that special someone.
Author blazkowicz Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 Yeah its pretty cool and everything but I just don't get what all the fuzz is about As long as I know, sex and money are the two main reasons of divorce in America... I think.
MusicChick24 Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Sex isn't such a big deal. Having a stable relationship is more important...and I feel sorry for the people who need sex to have a stable relationship. I used to get so annoyed with the guys I would date who were so concerned about having sex, I was out the door before they could finish their sentences. Now, my boyfriend of three years and I are abstinent and plan to be until we get married, or atleast engaged. That was the mutual agreement WE made, meaning he chose it too because he doesn't NEED sex to survive as a man. <3
MusicChick24 Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 As long as I know, sex and money are the two main reasons of divorce in America... I think. There are many opinions on a generalized statment such as this...however through the research that I've done the two main causes of divorce are: 1. Lack of foundation of Marriage (such as marrying too early) 2. Abuse However as I said this is just my research, there are professionals who would agree, however making a generalized statement like this isn't very logical. No offense, just my opinion. If a guy wants/needs sex often in a relationship he should find a woman that matches that, if he doesn't therefore they will be incompatible it's quite simple.
Gremio Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Sex isn't such a big deal. Having a stable relationship is more important...and I feel sorry for the people who need sex to have a stable relationship. I used to get so annoyed with the guys I would date who were so concerned about having sex, I was out the door before they could finish their sentences. Now, my boyfriend of three years and I are abstinent and plan to be until we get married, or atleast engaged. That was the mutual agreement WE made, meaning he chose it too because he doesn't NEED sex to survive as a man. <3 I assume you are a virgin. Am I correct? Sex is absolutely not a need but a want. I am a mid 20s male, and yes I love sex. But I also am very opposite of most men. I don't believe in one night stands, in "hook-ups". When I am interested in a woman, the longer we put off sex, the more passionate, the more special that connection is. I don't view sex as something that you use to get off. I look at it as a bond between two people who have strong feelings for each other. Perhaps if you viewed it that way you would understand. I won't go into detail but one of the most amazing feelings when you are intimate with your parnter and you get lost in each others eyes. Then you lay in each others arms and fall asleep. I don't care if it sounds corny or not for me to say, I am a romantic.
MusicChick24 Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Anyways: To the writer...possibly to find out if the two of you are compatible consider "sexual relations" other than intercourse. You don't need sex to determine your libidos and it will quickly become apparent whether or not your wants/needs for sex match. <3
berrieh Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Sex isn't such a big deal. Having a stable relationship is more important...and I feel sorry for the people who need sex to have a stable relationship. I used to get so annoyed with the guys I would date who were so concerned about having sex, I was out the door before they could finish their sentences. Now, my boyfriend of three years and I are abstinent and plan to be until we get married, or atleast engaged. That was the mutual agreement WE made, meaning he chose it too because he doesn't NEED sex to survive as a man. <3 If one wants to wait until marriage, that's good for them, but I don't see how sex isn't important to a relationship. Sex and sexuality (including other forms of affection) are what separate a platonic relationship from a romantic relationship. It's great to have a foundation of friendship, respect, etc, and neccesary, but... I don't see how one could have a romantic union, like marriage, and not expect their sex life to be a neccesary component.
berrieh Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 There are many opinions on a generalized statment such as this...however through the research that I've done the two main causes of divorce are: 1. Lack of foundation of Marriage (such as marrying too early) 2. Abuse However as I said this is just my research, there are professionals who would agree, however making a generalized statement like this isn't very logical. No offense, just my opinion. If a guy wants/needs sex often in a relationship he should find a woman that matches that, if he doesn't therefore they will be incompatible it's quite simple. Abuse is not a "main" cause of divorce in sheer numbers. Most divorces don't occur over abuse; in most divorce cases, there are no such claims. More divorces occur because of infidelity, which would fall under the category of "sex", than abuse. I would imagine the most "major" cause -- though it sounds a bit all-inclusive, I guess -- is simply not having the same values as each other, thus not being able to sustain a lifelong partnership; this often comes up in issues of money, family/children, lifestyle choices, and even sex.
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