So I told my Ex that I slept w/ my other Ex :/

[Dlyrica]

I broke up with my boyfriend of about 3 years 3 weeks ago. He was emotionally abusive and just nasty to me in general most of the time. He hardly tried to get back with me (Unless you count him randomly texting me "This sucks" or "Lets have sex") He did not call me once and refused to talk to me the one time that I called him. Anyways, after we broke up I started talking to my exboyfriend from like 5 years ago. It was completely friendly and we always have been friends so it wasn't a big deal. Well, it was very therapeutic to be able to talk to someone and since he and his gf of 5 years had just broken up a few months ago, he knew what I was dealing with. About two weeks later I invited him over just to hang out and drink with my friends and I. We ended up making out but nothing more. We continued talking and last weekend I went up to see him at his school and to just get away. Well, we slept together this past weekend and I had a fun time hanging out with him. My (most recent) Ex starting texting me about how he missed me so much etc etc. I was feeling really guilty and ended up telling him that I slept with the other ex. He of course went completely crazy and started calling me really mean things. I feel like I cheated on him and I just feel horrible. I need help dealing with this.

Thanks,

Dlyrica

[Posco_Proudfoot]

You rebounded to an ex after this one treated you like sh*t.

I don't know what he's so mad about. He was abusive and got his just rewards for it.

[Geishawhelk]

No, you don't need help dealing with this.

he needs to get over it.

He doesn't 'own' you. (never did).

But now that you've broken up, everything you do, anyone you see, anything you say, any place you go, all of it - is your choice, your decision, and your business.

Not his.

Tell him to grow up, move on and get lost.

Then -

you know, right?

 

Yup!

 

That wonderful thing - NC!!

[samspade]

Quit dating losers and feeling sorry for them.

 

And don't tell him anything. Just stop talking to him. Telling him to grow up and move on will only invite further immature behavior. Delete, delete, delete him from your life and find a man who is not a child.

[quankanne]

yep, and block him from your account so that he cannot bombard you with texts. The only way you can hear his shxt is if you allow it, and you *do* have control over that.

[GoneButNotForgotten]

Flat out tell him that even right after the break up he did not respect you and that you can no longer trust him. With trust gone there is nothing to build any relationship from and to please stay a memory.

 

Thats about the best I could come up with.

[Dlyrica]

Thanks everyone.

I guess it is just in my nature to feel guilty and look out for people even if I'm not obligated to let them know anything.

[quankanne]

well, he's not worth wasting the guilt over if he couldn't treat you properly or respect you when he had you, JMO

[Trimmer]

I guess it is just in my nature to feel guilty and look out for people even if I'm not obligated to let them know anything.

Not only do you have NO obligation to "let him know anything" but you absolutely do have an obligation to yourself to keep him out of your life and your business, if what you say here is accurate:

He was emotionally abusive and just nasty to me in general most of the time.

 

I'm concerned about your comments here:

He of course went completely crazy and started calling me really mean things. I feel like I cheated on him and I just feel horrible.

There should be no "of course" here - you should be astounded that he would "go crazy and call you mean things" and you should find that completely unacceptable. Unless there's more to the situation that you haven't shared, you need to take responsibility for your own life, emotional safety, etc. and specifically not burden yourself by taking responsibility for his life, his emotional instability, nor make excuses for his inability to deal with the situation.

[Dlyrica]

Well the only reason I say he was emotionally abusive is from what someone said about my initial post right after we broke up. I mean I would tell you whatever other details you want to know but I dont think it would make a difference. No one else's exes freaked out like that? I kind of thought it was a regular thing..well atleast out of him it is.

[timvand]

If you don't want him back, it's probably a good idea to not be in contact with him. It sounds like he's jealous, and if he was abusive to you, than you don't need that.