Embolus Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 * My girlfriend is a lazy brat who thinks the world revolves around her. Also she is unable to learn from experience. I’m starting to lose my patience. I love her; such is true, and we’ve never had a prolonged argument. In fact, we are wonderfully affectionate and sharing. But things are starting to lack; she’s showing no signs of improving herself. I gave her 3options, and asked that she please just do one of the three things so I know she is trying. They are as follows – -Feed yourself regularly, she has a tendency to starve herself -Have a solid sleep schedule, don’t go days without sleeping -Keep your apartment clean, I know she’d feel better not living in filth …she would not promise me to do any of those things. She just cries, like a child, when faced with a task that might require effort. The other night she wasted 3hrs of my time fooling around on the computer, thinking a lab card she had purchased would become invalid over break. I told her it would not, but if you don’t believe me, go ask the monitor in charge. But no, she chose to postpone our plans, leaving me stranded at her apartment. When all was said and done, she discovered her card would be fine. She created 3hrs of tension, ignoring my request to look into things, solely because she could not be wrong. She does, in fact, insult my intelligence regularly. She is sweet, nice and relatively caring. But she is also selfish and ignorant, unable to leave the confines of her pessimism. She has alluded to being bipolar, and I know she sees a psychologist. What should I do?
prettybaby Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I would dump her. Sounds harsh, but do you honestly think she'll magically change within a reasonable time frame? It sounds like something that might take -at least- a year to improve, and God knows how long to fix (if that ever happens). I know you probably love her and all, but, if you're not happy with the situation, be aware that you'll probably be stuck with her like that for quite a while! So it depends on how much frustration, time and efforts you're willing to put yourself through. I think the main questions you have to ask right now is to yourself. Be honest with yourself, and know what you are willing and capable of putting up with on the long run. Know your limits. And base your decision on that.
norajane Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 You can't change her, so you either have to accept her as she is right now, or break-up with her. That's it. Those are your only options.
shylight200 Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I think you need to break up with her now. It's not fair to her that you're calling her a "lazy brat who thinks the world revolves around her". That is just so negative and mean, she deserves someone who'll accept her for her. You might be right in calling her that, but if you're not going to love her for everything that she is, then let her go.
melodymatters Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 sign 1 = Anorexia sign 2 = mania sign 3 = depression of course i can't diagnose that your gF is indeed suffering from any of these, but that's what these signs screamed out to me. ( and i've been there on all 3 counts when i was in college) i think you need to talk to her more about her bi-polar, her therapist, and what she's doing to help herself. Is she on medication, that could help a great deal. Stop with the name calling, and realize your GF is likely sick and needs help ! Good luck !
V.Vixen Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 She had these issues when you met, right? You can offer to help her, but asking her to change constant (albeit unhealthy) things is probably not going to be successful, unless she says she wants to change. If you aren't willing to accept her "flaws" then you shouldn't be with her.
Author Embolus Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Thanks for the replies. I understand the things I typed may be harsh, but I feel justified in that it is an anonymous posting; I’d never say anything like that to her in person. Given my frustration, venting online, which worked, was a better alternative than getting angry at her directly. That being said, I do feel the ways she’s acted recently is a result of depression (of some sort). I have seen her happy, and it was great. But the length of this funk she’s in is beginning to try my patience. It’s like nothing gets to her, she lives behind a brick wall. But we are a day away from a vacation; I plan to have a talk with her after some relaxing. I will give it some time. If it turns out her attitude is because of something psychological, and she improves, we'll talk. But if it turns out that her personality is really like this, and she just hid it awhile; then I suppose I will leave her.
Recommended Posts