9Lives Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 my exbf shows up at the gym this morning knowing dam well this is when I am at the gym. He did not speak and neither did I. I am so annoyed that he came up there. He knows I love him so much and I think he is f/king with me by showing up and not saying a word thinking I was going to come say something to him. He always throws me a bone. He wont come and talk to me or say what is on his mind. He wants me to do it....Sucks!! I broke up with him cause of this kind of stuff and I am crazy about him but refused to keep getting treated this way. I changed my number so he cant call anymore cause Im so vulnerable. But thanks to God and LS I was not thrown off my game. I kept working out and left when I was done. I did not make eye contact. I just did my think and left. What do you all think of this? What is his game now?
anne1707 Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I don't know your story but I am confused. It was you who ended the relationship, not him. To me, it then seems odd that you are complaining that he did not talk to you. Plus you say this is your gym time. Has he ever been to the gym at that time before? If yes, then he is as entitled as you to go then.
Author 9Lives Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Yes I did tell him to keep it moving cause he told me "he dont want a rel and I should see other people" That was the terms of the rel after almost 4 years and I did not want that. Everything is his terms, his timing, his way and when he want to be bothered with me, it is when he feels like it. That is why Im upset. No he does not come to the gym that early in the morning so I know it was him coming to see what I would do or act like. He always throw me a bone cause he know know I care alot. If he wants me to move on, why you in my space? That is what I dont get. He dont want what I want.
anne1707 Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Then unfortunately it does sound like a game. He knows you wanted more than him and wants to keep you hooked - very selfish/arrogant/etc. I have been on the receiving end of a game like that and it is unfair as it stops you from moving on. All I can suggest is that you remain strong, don't give him the satisfaction of reacting. I think you should carry on going to the gym whenever you want. If he sees you are not reacting to his game, he will tire of it. I know it sucks but in the end you will feel so much better for maintaining control over your reactions and ultimately your feelings.
Author 9Lives Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Then unfortunately it does sound like a game. He knows you wanted more than him and wants to keep you hooked - very selfish/arrogant/etc. I have been on the receiving end of a game like that and it is unfair as it stops you from moving on. All I can suggest is that you remain strong, don't give him the satisfaction of reacting. I think you should carry on going to the gym whenever you want. If he sees you are not reacting to his game, he will tire of it. I know it sucks but in the end you will feel so much better for maintaining control over your reactions and ultimately your feelings. Now you get it....yes I am trying to move on and it has been soo very hard. That is why i was upset. Anne, it is 530 AM. It is obvious I am not trying to hook up with him. Yes you are right, he is very selfish and arrogant. He comes in there like he is the s/it. I am struggling to move on. It has not been easy. I was cool and all. I did not react. But Anne, what is that about? He always does this to me. I dont want to be enemies or anything, I just want to get over him. I still love him. I think he is so shady shady shady. I just dont understand. He dont really want me.
anne1707 Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Be glad you don't understand. It is a flaw in his character which is shallow and cruel. I know it is hard to accept when it is someone you have feelings for and makes you wonder what they really felt for you. But you have to stop trying to figure out why he is doing this. Do not waste your time on him. As I said, I have been on the receiving end of this kind of stuff and I know that what I am telling you to do is really hard right now but things will get better. You will be able to look back at this in time and think what was all the fuss about. Life is better without him.
Author 9Lives Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Be glad you don't understand. It is a flaw in his character which is shallow and cruel. I know it is hard to accept when it is someone you have feelings for and makes you wonder what they really felt for you. But you have to stop trying to figure out why he is doing this. Do not waste your time on him. As I said, I have been on the receiving end of this kind of stuff and I know that what I am telling you to do is really hard right now but things will get better. You will be able to look back at this in time and think what was all the fuss about. Life is better without him. You know what?....your absolutely right. I dont need to rack my brains trying to understand. Not worth my time. I have been thinking about this all day and it propably dont mean a thing. If he wanted to talk to me, he would have. Thanks for straightening me out. Thank you thank you thank you.
Author 9Lives Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Be glad you don't understand. It is a flaw in his character which is shallow and cruel. I know it is hard to accept when it is someone you have feelings for and makes you wonder what they really felt for you. But you have to stop trying to figure out why he is doing this. Do not waste your time on him. As I said, I have been on the receiving end of this kind of stuff and I know that what I am telling you to do is really hard right now but things will get better. You will be able to look back at this in time and think what was all the fuss about. Life is better without him. Yes it is hard and I thank you for understanding. Im so glad you told me to stop sweating it. It aint nothing. Just him being a ass. I wrote down what you said cause somethings aint worth understanding when it comes to men. Some of them are just trifling.
Ruby Slippers Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 He sounds like an ass. I think you handled it perfectly. Hopefully he'll buzz off now!
Author 9Lives Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Sunday, I was on a date and ran he ran into us. He was walking by and then he slowed down to see if he was seeing what he was seeing. Of course, i acted like I did not see him and I am sure he thinks that I did not. He was there by himself from what I can see. I love it but at the same time, I miss him sooo much. I just keep going of course. I was glad he was the first to see me with someone instead fo the other way around
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