Konfuzion Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Well I did something stupid, I went into my ex girl friends e-mail and this was just after the other night she told me she would give me an answer about our second chance after the holidays. I didn't like what I found in her e-mail so I called her about it and she told me that she has been trying to see if her feelings for me would come back but they have not, and that shes sorry if she hurt me. Anyway heres the e-mail.... Oh this e-mail is to another man I guess she knew as a child that she saw when she was back home over thanks giving. >Well, I hardley know where to begin. It was really great seeing you again. Your were right, it's rare to catch the four of us together anymore. Trey flew in from his job in Africa over Thanksgiving and I decided that would be the perfect time for me to go home also. I currently live in the Los Angeles area. We just happened to be in Morgan City for my aunt and uncles 40th anniversary party. Strangely we were in town for less than 24 hours, just time enough to see you. > >I'm not even sure how to express what I want to share with you, so I'll just lay it out for you. Seeing you through the years, I have never been attracted to you. In fact I did not like you at all!! Trey reminded me last week that I used to call you "Ash-foe", because I wanted nothing to do with you. Reflecting on that as an adult, I think it was because you are a very intense person and back then that made me uncomfortable. With that being said, I don't know what transpired in those few moments when we saw each other again, but I feel competely and unexpectly enamored with you. You have grown into a beautiful man. I don't know how to justifiably express what I experienced, but I have never in my life experienced such instant attraction. That is why I feel completely compelled as if I MUST tell you about it. I can't hold it back. I apologize if my forwardness might be uncomfortable for you. I don't believe in coincidences or random events. I know I was intended to see you that day and I don't hold back in life anymore, that is why I am telling you. This has all come as quite a surprise to me. I never knew it was possible to have polar opposite regard for someone. What I find most attractive about you is how humble you are now. I didn't see any of the old hyper-intelligent smart ass that I so feverishly shunned. What I am feeling is that I must see you again. > >I'm just ending a four year relationship. We both still live together along with his two boys. We are sorting out how to sort it out and split up in a way that would best support the boys. They have not seen their mother in several years and are not allowed to by a court order, so I have basically become a mother to them. I've never been married or had children, not that I haven't had offers. Marriage and children were just never a goal of mine and I was not willing to settle. I'm on this planet to live an extraordinary life. My aim in life is to be the grandest version of everything I ever thought I could be. I work on it every day. > >I'm not really clear on what your situation is. I know you have children, but I didn't hear you mention a wife. I also didn't notice a wedding ring, but I wasn't really looking for one either. I understand if seeing me is not currently possible for you. I just had to speak my truth to you, put it out into the universe and see what becomes of it, otherwise I'm not living. > >Looking forward to hearing from you again,
northstar1 Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Well I did something stupid, I went into my ex girl friends e-mail and this was just after the other night she told me she would give me an answer about our second chance after the holidays. I didn't like what I found in her e-mail so I called her about it and she told me that she has been trying to see if her feelings for me would come back but they have not, and that shes sorry if she hurt me. Anyway heres the e-mail.... Oh this e-mail is to another man I guess she knew as a child that she saw when she was back home over thanks giving. >Well, I hardley know where to begin. It was really great seeing you again. Your were right, it's rare to catch the four of us together anymore. Trey flew in from his job in Africa over Thanksgiving and I decided that would be the perfect time for me to go home also. I currently live in the Los Angeles area. We just happened to be in Morgan City for my aunt and uncles 40th anniversary party. Strangely we were in town for less than 24 hours, just time enough to see you. > >I'm not even sure how to express what I want to share with you, so I'll just lay it out for you. Seeing you through the years, I have never been attracted to you. In fact I did not like you at all!! Trey reminded me last week that I used to call you "Ash-foe", because I wanted nothing to do with you. Reflecting on that as an adult, I think it was because you are a very intense person and back then that made me uncomfortable. With that being said, I don't know what transpired in those few moments when we saw each other again, but I feel competely and unexpectly enamored with you. You have grown into a beautiful man. I don't know how to justifiably express what I experienced, but I have never in my life experienced such instant attraction. That is why I feel completely compelled as if I MUST tell you about it. I can't hold it back. I apologize if my forwardness might be uncomfortable for you. I don't believe in coincidences or random events. I know I was intended to see you that day and I don't hold back in life anymore, that is why I am telling you. This has all come as quite a surprise to me. I never knew it was possible to have polar opposite regard for someone. What I find most attractive about you is how humble you are now. I didn't see any of the old hyper-intelligent smart ass that I so feverishly shunned. What I am feeling is that I must see you again. > >I'm just ending a four year relationship. We both still live together along with his two boys. We are sorting out how to sort it out and split up in a way that would best support the boys. They have not seen their mother in several years and are not allowed to by a court order, so I have basically become a mother to them. I've never been married or had children, not that I haven't had offers. Marriage and children were just never a goal of mine and I was not willing to settle. I'm on this planet to live an extraordinary life. My aim in life is to be the grandest version of everything I ever thought I could be. I work on it every day. > >I'm not really clear on what your situation is. I know you have children, but I didn't hear you mention a wife. I also didn't notice a wedding ring, but I wasn't really looking for one either. I understand if seeing me is not currently possible for you. I just had to speak my truth to you, put it out into the universe and see what becomes of it, otherwise I'm not living. > >Looking forward to hearing from you again, Well, you know what they say about Pandoras box. You found out the hard way that she's apparently figured out the answer you were seeking. But honestly man, you need to stop going into her email - I know you seek answers on your future, but that is one big bottle of poison, and also not very ethical. Sorry to hear you had to read all that, but at least you have your answer.
EmperorR Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Well at least you now though, sorry you had to find out that way.
SRV Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Sorry you had to find out that way, but at least now you know. The best would be to concentrate on your two little boys and find someone else.
flc Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I think you should focus on yourself. Reading someone's emails without permission is very unethical no matter what the reason. You knew it was wrong but you still did it. It did not change the outcome nor would it. Maybe trust and ethics had something to do with the outcome.
Rafa Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Hey Kon, I totally understand why you went into her email. It might be wrong but when you're in such a heavy situation and you have that damn password, you just needed all the info you could get your hands on. It must really suck to read that email, but at least you don't have to listen to all the bulls**t that she would've surely spouted (well my ex is still coming out with nonsense to this day) - you now have the facts to work with. It's often really difficult to get the facts after a breakup. She may have even strung you along until she had a green light with this guy. Now you can really move on. You have closure, which I think speeds up the healing process. She sounds like a bit of a dick anyway: "I'm on this planet to live an extraordinary life. My aim in life is to be the grandest version of everything I ever thought I could be. I work on it every day." What a crock of s**t, she's just another person on the spinning dirtball, trying to impress this guy. Good luck buddy, you can get through this.
frd150 Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Well, Rafa beat me to it. Those quotes from her e-mail remind me of my aunt in alot of ways. Shes a narcacist to the hilt and shes poison. She is a doctor and she thinks her $hit dont stink and she makes everyone aware of that fact including me...her nephew. Now, she was not always this way. She was a sweet loving kind women, she was my favorite aunt but it all changed after a divorce. It was like she was sent on this divine mission by the arrogance gods. Kon, sometimes we think we know people and then we see crap like that. Lines like that would scare me personally. If this guy is any sort of normal he will be a bit creeped out. Just sayin. Confidence is a good thing but b.s. is a whole entirely different ball game. I do not condone spying but I get why you did it. Frankly, I had access to my exs e mails but I just couldnt do it. I was afraid and then what would I do with the info? Tell her? Oh, that would have helped my cause. Rock and a hard place. Sorry you saw what you saw. curiosity kill the cat I guess.
HighPlainsDrifter Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Hey Kon, Just wanted to let you know that I totally understand why you checked your ex's email. I posted here a week or so ago about doing the same stupid thing. When you are dealing with a liar and a manipulator, sometimes you just HAVE to find out exactly what is REALLY going on. I don't know if it does you any good, but at least you now know that she's out there working it. It's time for you to focus your energies elsewhere if possible. I looked on my ex's email after 4 months of NC by me and confirmed a lot of crap I suspected her of doing and was feeling really down about it. I wanted to know because I had a feeling I would here from her again, and I wanted to have all the facts in case she tried to pull a comeback. Sure enough, last week she tried to break NC with me again by sending me an article about some 70 yr old indian woman getting pregnant (she wanted me to knock her up, she was poking holes in my condoms etc... Sweet gal...) and how one of her friends told her she still had time. Had I not read her email and knew what's going on in her life currently, I likely would have weakened and responded to her, further setting me back. I can say though that I hope you've gotten all the info you need and don't need to resort to that again. I hope I have as well. Knowledge is power, but ignorance is bliss. In regards to my and your situation, I think we have all the knowledge we need. Stay strong friend... It'll get better for both of us.
alwayssme Posted December 13, 2008 Posted December 13, 2008 Ouch! I'm sorry to hear that. This is why we dont need to know what they're doing. I'm sure most of our ex'es are trying to talk to other people...or are already with someone else...I'm sorry you had to find out like this.
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