Evaevaeva Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 My “boyfriend” and I have decided to have no contact for a few weeks to know how we truly feel about eachother. It has nearly been a whole week and at first I was fine but now I am really struggling. Everytime my phone goes I think it is him and when it isn’t I feel huge disappointment. The doorbell even went this morning and even though I knew it wasn’t him I still hoped it was. He has not tried to contact me once and I feel like contacting him to see how he feels. Surely he must know by now because I do….
californiadreaming Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I am the same way. I have a new cell phone, so no one really has my number. I am waiting for work, but jobs are not calling now a days, so when the phone rings my heart nearly jumps out of my chest. The sad thing is so far it hasn't been her. And, by the time I see that, I answer the phone pretty rude, because I am so upset that it is not her. It's been 18 days since our split, and 13 days since we've spoken, and lord knows how much I miss her voice. All I can say is be strong, and if its real, make it work this time.
lovesickandstuck Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I totally know how it is, NC is probably the hardest thing to do. But if you're feeling it too, I'm sure he is as well. He's just trying to be strong. So you try to be strong too! You can do it!
GoneButNotForgotten Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Patience is a virtue. Albeit one of the most difficult to obtain. He may be taking his time and working out some internal issues. I will admit a lot of guys struggle with that. A lot of society teaches us to suppress our emotions and feelings. And after a while of doing that, it becomes harder and harder to release them controlled and take them at face value. It makes it all that much more challenging trying to sort out what everything means. We also tend to try and rationalize everything that we feel. We try and make our head understand everything that our heart tell us. Which is hard to do. Sometimes the heart just knows and the head doesn't understand. I know waiting is hard but contacting him will only make it more difficult.
FF84 Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 A week really isn't a long time. And if you agreed to a few weeks no contact why would you want to break it now?
Author Evaevaeva Posted December 15, 2008 Author Posted December 15, 2008 Ok so I didnt break it and it has now been 11 days. He has not contacted me once and Im literally having to hide my phone so I dont call or text him. But Im getting to the point now where I just need some kind of reassurance or just to hear his voice. I know we agreed but if he really missed me he would have contacted me by now right?
lonelygurl Posted December 15, 2008 Posted December 15, 2008 I would really suggest you change your phone number. I had my home and cell number changed. And once I have the movers get his stuff out I will be closing my email. Then he has no way to contact me unless he was to show up at the door. If you change your phone numbers it will help you to not think it might be him each time. If you're afraid to completely cut all contact then keep you email address. If they want to find you they will. The last time my X and I split he had no way to contact me and ended up contacting a family member of mine to see if it would be okay. Taking a break is dangerous ground. My first split with the same guy he said he needed some time on his own, but really I found out he had a new girlfriend and was seeing where it would go before he completely cut me out of the picture. Take care of yourself and what you need to do to try to spend some time on yourself. I know how hard a broken heart is. I've now let the same guy do it to me twice.
Author Evaevaeva Posted December 16, 2008 Author Posted December 16, 2008 So I now know why my ex has not been in contact. I rang him today ..yes I broke the no contact. He phone was off...so I rang his work who told me he was away on holiday....I thought hmmm... I rang the cattery to find out he had put our cats in the cattery and they are not coming out til the 23rd december. He has obviously taken his ex away on holiday...I rang her number and low and behold...it rang like it was an abroad line. Im devastated..
Seducer11 Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 I had an argument wit my gf n when time goes by, she realised that evertime she thinks of me the argument seems to came as well..She cant get it out of her mind..Suddenly she decided she wanna put a hold on our relationship.She made it clear that its not a break up but juz a hold on our relationship.She said she love me so much n she needs time to find her way back to tat state.Deep in my heart,I know i dun agree wit that coz im worried that if she takes too much time tat flames will soon diminish.But theres nothing i can do..So i finally agree wit her to hold our relationship.A week has past n i still havent heared frm her.Then this morning she changed her status on facebook to single (but she told one of her mates tat she accidently change it)..Now im starting to get worried.If it was an accident, then why didnt she changed it back?N usually she would attached my email add when she forwarded an email, but this time she didnt.She didnt even reply to any of my invitation on facebook like she normally would.I really dunno wat to do...
openbook08 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 seducer11, im sorry to tell you that she more than likely did this on purpose. initially when my ex and i were taking some time apart, he too changed his status to 'single' (even though we'd agreed not to do anything like that, as you know its pops up on everyones page " X is now single" & seeing as i didnt really know what was gonna happen i didnt want to have to deal with all the q's from friends etc. and we had agreed not to see other people during this break) plus we had agreed on a month apart so it wasnt like he had to wait all that long!! and he never really used FB. so you can imagine the land i got when i saw hed changed it. he too said it was an accident and he was sorry. but he didnt change it back. with hindsight i can now see it most def. wasnt an accident.
Seducer11 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 So openbook08, wat did u do after tat??did u guys finally get back together after a month? Well 2 weeks has passed n finally ive got an email frm her 3 days ago, telling me tat she decided to break it off coz she said she cant take the long distance relationship.Everyday she misses me so much but theres nothing she could do..N its really painful for her..Even chatting online n talking on the phone dosent seem to cure it..Plus at the moment, her feelings towards me is juz plain normal..There love isnt there anymore.Then i email her back n told her to juz hang on till june..Wait till i get back n we'll talk over it n at the mean time juz hold on to the relationship..She replied No promises..I guess its over for us..Wat i cant figure out is tat how can a strong love juz dissapear in a short time..Its juz not possible..N plus they way she talked to me is juz full of cruelty..Its like she hates me so much..How can sum1 hate u when u didnt do anything wrong??
openbook08 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 no about 3weeks into the break - and after the FB incident, after 5years, when he knew i was away at a friends bday party (he was supposed to come with me & he knew that besides my friend the others there were strangers to me) he TEXT me to tell me similar to what your ex has told you-well actually what he said was "so i know youre with youre friend and she'll hate me but the fact remains that i know i dont want to be with you anymore and i wont be turning up to meet you next week. dont try and contact me and make this harder but if you want to talk i will meet you.bye XXX"(his pet name for me - insert here). we werent in a LDR we were very close all but living together so i feel like ive lost my right arm. dont put your life on hold for her. i understand how much i love her, hell i still love him & miss him but ive a feeling that youll spend the next few months building up this romantic reunion and it more than likely wont happen & you will be crushed. so keep busy. take up some new hobbies. hang out with your friends. you never know you may meet someone along the line who'll show you what its like to be really loved. NC worked best for me (but man was the whole thing complicated he acted like a complete knob - read my other posts if you want a laugh. ya people like him DO exist) and ive no idea how someone you can love so much can turn into such a monster (im aware everyone is entitled to leave a rship if theyre unhappy, we may be that person in the future, its the cold callous way they go about it. and then come back. and do it again. and again) im sorry this is happening to you. keep posting, this website has really helped me. there are some truly amazing and inspirational people on here.
Seducer11 Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 openbook08 u can reply me on my new thread "Am i doing the right thing"...Cheers
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