CoCoPuffs77 Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Hi there im new here as you can tell but I have a question prob run of the mill for you guys but here goes anyways... I have a casule aquantince nice guy I see here and there he works in this one store I like to shop in. So every time he sees me he stops to say hello and we end up talking small chit chat I can tell hes nervous for some reason and to be honest so am I a tad tho I try my best to hide it.. I really enjoy talking to him but ive found myself trying to avoid the situation a few times makes no sence I know! He has in the past fully introduced himself so were now on a 1st name basis its nice I would like to be friends with him past the casule hellos and 5 min convos. But I feel wierd for some reason offering my contact # is it ok for a girl to say hey I enjoy talking to you lets be friends to a guy? Sometimes the way he always goes out of his way to talk to me actualy hints at someting more on his mind maybe but I dont know 100% and I wouldent be ready for that anyways at the moment. Hes always asking about my family and liveing situations kinda personal stuff really for a casule aquantence not that it bothers me. I guess what im getting at is im just confused were this guys going if that makes any sence I mean dose it sound like only a casule aquantence and thats it? Or would I be with in my expectations to offer my full friendship at this point tho thats all I could offer in all fairness I really wanna but I dont wanna end up looking like a desprate dork? And why when I like talking to him do I avoid the situation at times I dont understand that any advice much apshiated Thanks guys..
prettybaby Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Well, let's not kid ourselves: the guy seems interested in you. And by interested in you, I mean, as dating potential. And why are you nervous anyway? Are you sure you're not trying to convince yourself that you're not interested in him? When I become friends with guys I'm not interested in at all, it all evolves pretty naturally and without any tension whatsoever, because, well, we just don't care for each other that way. So I suspect that the interest may be mutual in your case, no? Don't give him your phone number unless you wanna date him. He will take it as a hint.
Author CoCoPuffs77 Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Thanks for the reply ok maybe I do like him a bit admitly but I dont think I would want a another R at this point in my life maybe down the road a little but not now I think anyways. See the thing is just that Im going to be moveing further away and wouldent see myself being able to shop there as much... Yea I think I have been trying to convince myself on some level like you said.. Cant I give him my contact as an offer of just friendship 1st no? I mean dont all good Rs start off as friends at some point? Ive jumped into too many of them in the past to be honest it would be refreshing to actualy get to know some one as a friend 1st and if it led to more then fantastic ya know what I mean..
prettybaby Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 How old are you two, if I may ask? You might as well just tell him that you enjoy hanging out with him, but that you're not looking to date anyone right now and just enjoy being totally single, but that you would like to be friends if that's okay with him. That way, he'll know where he's standing and there won't be any endless mind games, which will make things easier for you too, since you don't want to get overwhelmed by any of that right now. Honestly, if you give him your number with a simple "let's be friends, ok?"; he will definitely think you really mean you wanna date him. So don't do that. Either tell him exactly where you're standing right now, or find something more casual to keep in touch, like myspace or facebook or something. A phone number is way too personal and straight forward for someone you don't wanna date. You'll be giving mixed signals and sooner or later he'll resent you for messing with his head.
Author CoCoPuffs77 Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Point taken thats what I was kinda worried about with a # it is kinda personal I had thought about messenger or email. But honestly he dosent hit me as the kinda guy who would sit behind a pc he works alot from what I can tell. Im 31 hes 30ish I recently asked him how old he thought I was when I told him he said oh your my age kinda surprised. Honestly I wouldent argure I possible R out of it in the future I just would want to become friends 1st ive never gone about things that way. Its always been head on full out from the start ya know and its always ended up in a train wreck on me. Im getting older and I wanna just take more time if that makes any sence.. again thanks for the replys :0)
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