Ultimate !!!lameness!!!!.......?

[goodmorningtowakeup]

Well well i finally decided to post after several days of study on here, realizing that you people are some of the least crazy on these bs online forums....

 

Nuff said in the disclaimer department, im in need of advice also!!!!!

 

Well well it all started about 10 months ago...

 

4 months before that i broke up with my gf of 2 and a half years....pretty much because i was sick of her in almost every way...and the pain i felt was the pain of guilt.

 

So naturally i thought i was all wise and mature and did the right thing...ITS TIME FOR ANOTHER GIRL I THOUGHT!!!! YESS!!!!!

 

What a ****er i am i know, but im just being honest, and to be further honest i can say that i did cheat on this person...what can i say now...theres nothing i can say except for that it was the thing i fell the most guilty about doing now...not for her feelings honestly cause she still has no idea, because i KNOW im capable of that...or at least was....

 

ANYHOW i met this girl who posted a ad on CL looking for friends....like i said she may have been looking for a chill buddy (doubt it seriously, i mean single people dont usually turn to places like that, be honest!!!) but she found mE!! Mr. Im READY READY READY!!!!

 

We talked a few times on the phone and had a connection, although i was wierded out to say the least about this dude that she let move into her house, who was crazy and in love with her and told her he would be dead by sunrise if she didnt want him....

 

I told her right then as we were talking (the guy was there being a creepo) that she needed to tell him if he didnt take off she was calling the cops, end of story. She hung with him all night anyways, then told me he had left.

 

Keep in mind this is like day 6 of knowing she was alive, and i stilll wasnt ready to get rid of thinking she was cool, unusual to say the least for me!!!

 

It was soon obvious that she liked me like a ton because im so awesome and everything...so i decided that we were too far away like and asked i could come see her in person. She ended up coming to where i was cause her town is totally lame, and we wouldnt be able to do **** cause we both didnt drive at the time, both didnt have any money, lame lame lame so she came via bus...she was planning to spending the night at my house cause she wouldnt be able to get back that night...yadda yadda...

 

at my place we went straight for my room, sat around smoking and watching bruce lee movies for me it seemed like love for sure!!!! We ended up kissing that night after a heated thumb wrestle and that was that...my heart was like, totally smitten..!

 

The next night we had sex.

 

Whoa yeah but if you would have seen her...you would too for certain.

 

So time went by and i already figured we were so damn close, why not have her live with me cause i didnt want her traveling back and forth so much since like i said a the time i didnt have a ride and my work schedule prevented me from going to her town. She was a little odd about it but she said hells yeah and acted happy for several weeks.

 

About that time, i started noticeing that she wasnt really happy like, ALL THE TIME like she was before, sometimes she would lay in bed all day facing the wall, and she would NEVER, EVER admit to being pretty.

 

Needless to say i thought she was sick of me, but then i found out she was suicidal....or at least tells me that even now i dont believe her.

 

She would get so dark about ****, "reaching out" to me was telling me that theres no life beyond what she sees in her head, i cant help. It PISSED ME OFF so bad that that i couldnt help, but i read somewhere that a girl cant have her bf be her shrink cause thats just retarded nuff said. Before too long i realized that i had been talking real drawn out-like and being puchy with my words to try and squeeze out some info that related to being a mature decent person somewhere down there...but i got nothin.

 

After time i stopped doing that, and she magically stopped laying around like that. It was like the less i did the more she would talk about stuff and be honest that she was really just pissed about what rude thing i had said that day, or rude bull**** that i had caused that she had to wittness. Also im not the most outgoing guy, and she was dissapointed to say the least with the social scene around my town.

 

So anyways we went along like things were cool then my roommates got ****ing pissed like every day that she was pretty lazy and didnt clean the house top from bottom even tho they seriously made like all the messes, and she got upset knowing that. One day, after many uncomfortable situations that led up to her hating my roommates basically, she took off while i was at work to go home to mommy and daddy.

 

She left while i was at work making money for us to eat and pay our rent, so i was pissed and hurt at the same time. PLUS she left me this "heartfelt" note that described how she will love me forever and if we both change then everything will be fine....bs is all i could think.

 

I talked to her that night and we ended up getting back together like right away pretty much even tho she made me feel really bad about who i am. I was mad and had several unanswered questions but nothing was any use because i didnt want to push her...

 

I worked really hard that week at work and finally bought a car for myself...and this was a great thing cause now i could come to her if i wanted and needed to.

 

Everything was going okay but i had snuck and read a text that she sent to her sister about this guy at work being so fine, he was sooooo fiiiiinnnnneeee blah blah....I WAS NOID BEYOND COMPARE and asked her a million questions all the time...

 

pretty soon i let that go, but then on every time i see that she was tlaking to a guy or anything like that i get a cold sick feeling in my stomach and my adrenaline gets pumping like mad. She soon after got a job at a art store and i noticed right away that she seemed to be really really taken with her co worker WHO seemed like her perfect match as far as interests go. I know her and know that even though im a good looking guy, there are some major personality differences...the most common in youth, im pretty punk rock and shes really really emo.

 

So i would ask her a lot about this dude, and i finally found out that he really liked her...but i still believed her and do even now that theres nothing going on, hes just a stupid boner basically...

 

around THAT time i found a text from her (yep privacy invasion, but after reading that first text to her sis it was really really hard to not look) to a random number that said, " do you want to hang out in like fifteen minutes?" so i called the number right away even tho it was like 2 am, and a guy answered. I confronted her about it on the spot and she called me crazy and i gave her every ****ing chance to tell the truth and she still didnt admit to knowing this guy. She told me maybe someone from her work did it...which i didnt believe.

 

So the next day i text this guy being really really heart to heart guy to guy type thing and he told me he just wanted a number of a mutual friend, and that he doesnt have a clue why she lied. I finally got her to admit it after telling her i spoke to him, and she said it was cause she knew how mad id get. I dont know how much ****ing troubles she could have caused by just saying, "its a friend, so what?" but she ****ing lied man...and that made me NUTZZZZZ!!!

 

So all was forgive and forget and with me driving to her place, her driving to my place, hanging out trying the best we could to have fun in our boring towns...

 

then one day her f-ing mom invites me to move in!!!

I was happy as hell cause i was so paranoid about being far, and i really did have fun living with her even though we had been through it with my roommates and everything...

 

The day before i was moving in, she tells me its a bad idea. I said okay fine, but everything is okay with us right? She says that she had a dream she was alone, and that she takes it very serious. I asked well do you still love me? She didnt answer...finally i put it in such a way that she pretty much had to give me a definative answer. She would not say the words, "i dont love you" tho...even tho i tried to get her to say it. She settled for telling me a relationship is not what she wants right now and that she wants to be single. ALL THE OTHER GUYS came to mind directly.

 

I had been a real paranoid jerk and late night convos got old im sure talking about these dudes who were(maybe) just friends and ****....it was obvious it had made her sick of me that bad, but im not sure she takes into account how BAD it looked for her and how i chose to trust her even tho thats that!

 

So we texted (mostly promoted by me) and after a week she agreed to see me...

 

shes been telling me, we are not in a relationship, you are way to controlling, but when i saw her today, she was butter in my arms i swear it...anyone who would have seen us would say, "wow what a happy couple joking around and being cute, awwww.''

 

I went to her house not knowing if i would be able to spend the night or anything and she let me in...cuddled in bed and kissed me goodnight...all that...we had a good time today and she acted cool the whole time...she thanked me for coming to see her...even tho my roommates were so pissed i did they practically (by that i mean literally) kicked me out.

 

tonight i called her and she seemed so depressed and sad, i really thouhgt, "wow, she doesnt really want to break up with me, she really really is just taking some time away from the teeter todder of being in a relationship so she can figure out her life."

 

On facebook and myspace tho, she puts single, ITS OVER as her headline, just dumb **** that hurts to see you know? i mean even tho this is happening i still wouldnt put that ****...and shes been talking to several guys. Some of them new friends she seems to have met since our, "BREAK UP" began.

 

Now keep in mind that she said, "okay baby i love you, goodnight" like an hour ago when i last talked to her.

 

MY QUESTION AFTER THIS NOVEL IS....

 

am i being strung along like, so hardcore right now that she will say ANYTHING to not just let me go?

 

i think her choice is a mature one, but...it hurts so bad...damn!

 

ive broken up with peeps before, and you JUST DONT SAY...

 

"i love you baby goodnight."

 

 

.....right?

[goodmorningtowakeup]

i just read over my post awhile after the fact and im sorry if it seems so lame and goofy....all i can say is im really really in a ton of pain all night and day and that i dont know anything except that i could be being replaced...please...any advice will help me so much...

[GoneButNotForgotten]

Ok man, your story is very hard to read. So if I mistake some information I apologize. You need to get a grip on yourself first and foremost. You are pushing this girl away by jumping to conclusions everytime she talks to another guy. You have some trust issues. Personally, I think you need to walk away from this one and take a look at your own issues. What makes you not able to trust this girl that you say you love? You really need to sort out your own issues of jealousy and trust before trying to be in a committed relationship.

[allina]

Wow, you've got a lot going on in this situation and it doesn't sound good. I know it hurts but you'll move on. I'd remember this situation for the experience you've gained and leave this girl and relationship behind. She doesn't sound like she's emotionally healthy enough fora stable relationship right now. She has to get her stuff together before she can be a partner in a relationship. Also, what's her home life like? I'm assuming you're both very young. I think it's a bit shocking that her parents were ok with her moving in with you after 3 months, then invited you to move in with them

[Federica]

Thread closed by request of OP.