Author kashmir Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 kashmir, if you don't give mixed or hesitant signals, you're not going to get them back. Sure, there's the odd girl who will play you for ego sake but overall, if you take charge, women will appreciate it. An example of alpha-ness from my last STR: He asked me out on initial accidental meeting. I turned him down more from reflex. Don't ask.He gave me his business card to call him any time. I was debating it but decided against it.He left me a dozen white roses the next day, with a card that said "why haven't you called yet?".I put my business card under his door with a thank-you note written on the back.He called as soon as he saw it.No hesitation. Total confidence. I knew he was interested! Um, that's borderline creepy and stalkerish.
Trialbyfire Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Um, that's borderline creepy and stalkerish. No, it's all out confidence in self. If you don't have it, you're not going to put yourself out that far.
carhill Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Yes, that was my style as a single guy but I sent the roses to the wrong women TBF read the progression of his intent and saw genuine and respectful interest. I'd pay attention to that advice....
elaina Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Nope. Never dated anyone. There was one girl I spent a day with a few months ago, but that ended after 1 date. Like I said, I'm elusive. I'm usually not around girls. I'm either by myself or with my team. Until it got cold, I would go out every Friday night and play guitar and sing in the center of campus. After a few times of doing that, people started to recognize me more. Then one night I was really sad so I drank too much and went out and played by myself. I didn't do that well. It was really cold that night too so my fingers were numb and I was botching up. Since then I've been playing in the basement laundry room. Great acoustics in there. I mean, I'd LIKE to think that what you described is the case, where girls think I'm so cool and handsome that they don't even try, but I have trouble believing that. Ahh you see... you are not usually around girls and are elusive. Girls in this culture and age don't know how to interpret that. Have you ever told a girl that you like her and want to get to know her better? I'm sorry about the night that you were sad. Drinking too much is not a good way to make an impression, but don't beat yourself up over it. If you were my little brother, this is the advice I'd give you k? You can take it or leave it. Just enjoy the rest of this semester and make friends and concentrate on your grades, cause obviously you are extremely smart, and you need to take care of your future... do you live in a dorm on campus? If you don't, find a co-ed dorm where you can hang out in the lobby and just have fun playing your guitar and meeting people. You never know, Miss Beautiful might just creep up on you! Next fall semester, get to know the freshman and find a freshman girl who you like. If you can be available around the first of the year and help the new girls move heavy things or open doors or basically be a help, that would be really cool and make an awesome impression! Invite her for coffee or whatever and be a friend for like 2 weeks... then if you still like her, TELL HER and see how she responds... Be her friend and offer to help her... Whatever happened to romance?
Author kashmir Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 No, it's all out confidence in self. If you don't have it, you're not going to put yourself out that far. Well for girls my age it is. I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't experience it myself several times. I've been direct and strong before. I've gone in with the attitude, "I like this girl and I'm going to let her know. I don't give a **** if she doesn't like it." You know what it got me? Invisibility in the eyes of the girl I liked at the least, and at the worst people trying to punish me for asking a girl out. Besides, how many times do women complain about a guy not taking a hint? That guy invested a lot so you would go out with him. You do that around here and you get branded as being desperate, annoying, or stalkerish.
Trialbyfire Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 TBF read the progression of his intent and saw genuine and respectful interest. I'd pay attention to that advice.... Well for girls my age it is. I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't experience it myself several times. I've been direct and strong before. I've gone in with the attitude, "I like this girl and I'm going to let her know. I don't give a **** if she doesn't like it." You know what it got me? Invisibility in the eyes of the girl I liked at the least, and at the worst people trying to punish me for asking a girl out. Besides, how many times do women complain about a guy not taking a hint? That guy invested a lot so you would go out with him. You do that around here and you get branded as being desperate, annoying, or stalkerish. Read the above from carhill. If you do it right, you won't get any complaints. You don't wear your heart on your sleeve. You go into it knowing that you could get rejected but the odds say, based on initial attraction signals from the girl, it's going to happen. If you believe you've got it, you do.
elaina Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Well for girls my age it is. I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't experience it myself several times. I've been direct and strong before. I've gone in with the attitude, "I like this girl and I'm going to let her know. I don't give a **** if she doesn't like it." You know what it got me? Invisibility in the eyes of the girl I liked at the least, and at the worst people trying to punish me for asking a girl out. Besides, how many times do women complain about a guy not taking a hint? That guy invested a lot so you would go out with him. You do that around here and you get branded as being desperate, annoying, or stalkerish. You are very serious hmm? It's cool to be serious, but know that many girls like romance! Strong and direct is good, but doing sweet things for her does make a cool impression! When I was your age, I would act all huffy and say "i can do it myself thanks!" when a guy opened the door for me, but at the same time I was like, wow. He thinks I'm worth opening the door for! lol
Author kashmir Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 Oh and I pretty much did something similar with the flower thing. I asked a girl out in high school and she was flaky. Her birthday was coming up so I told her, "You don't know know what you're missing (her name), but I think you'll come around. By the way, happy birthday in advance. ;)" She was just like whatever. So her birthday comes and I send her a dozen red roses from the gas station (though I found a tag from the fancy town florist to make it look like I got it from there). Put it on her doorstep and walked way. She didn't talk to me for a while, until she finally felt compelled to thank me for them. I then asked her to homecoming and she flaked again. I figured at that point that I was done with her. Then her crazy dad came into the picture and called me to threaten me to stay away from her. I had a few encounters with him, including one on the road where he was tailgating me. Let's just say it wasn't fun...plus I became the bad guy to a lot of people in the school, just for freakin liking a girl. That among other things has made me reluctant to be that direct again.
burning 4 revenge Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Um, that's borderline creepy and stalkerish. yes, but only if youre ugly or broke
Trialbyfire Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Oh and I pretty much did something similar with the flower thing. I asked a girl out in high school and she was flaky. Her birthday was coming up so I told her, "You don't know know what you're missing (her name), but I think you'll come around. By the way, happy birthday in advance. ;)" She was just like whatever. I bolded the two phrases that were pertinent. My question to you is, why would you ask a girl out who's flaky and rude? I'm not seeing any signs of positive signals from her.
Trialbyfire Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 yes, but only if youre ugly or broke Grrr...be nice!
elaina Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Oh and I pretty much did something similar with the flower thing. I asked a girl out in high school and she was flaky. Her birthday was coming up so I told her, "You don't know know what you're missing (her name), but I think you'll come around. By the way, happy birthday in advance. ;)" She was just like whatever. So her birthday comes and I send her a dozen red roses from the gas station (though I found a tag from the fancy town florist to make it look like I got it from there). Put it on her doorstep and walked way. She didn't talk to me for a while, until she finally felt compelled to thank me for them. I then asked her to homecoming and she flaked again. I figured at that point that I was done with her. Then her crazy dad came into the picture and called me to threaten me to stay away from her. I had a few encounters with him, including one on the road where he was tailgating me. Let's just say it wasn't fun...plus I became the bad guy to a lot of people in the school, just for freakin liking a girl. That among other things has made me reluctant to be that direct again. I am sorry about that. I have a question though. Was this girl from another race? Sad to say there are still many people who are prejudiced, or there could be some other factors involved, like her having an overstrict scary Dad or something. You never know... Anyways, another sweet romantic thing is to make up a song either just words or music or both for a girl that you like. My Love is a musician and a perfectionist and he made up a song for me, and that was like wow! His love for music he is using for me to show amor for me ahhhh:love:
Author kashmir Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 Elaina, last year I lived in a science/engineering dorm with a 5:1 guy to girl ratio that was hidden in the bowels of the engineering campus. That sucked. This year I live in a dorm with 5 other guys and 64 girls, and it's not much different. I'm not gonna meet anyone the rest of this semester which is gonna suck. And grades aren't an issue for me...(except for chemistry. I can do everything else but that field is boring as hell). It's kind of funny...I'm so chill and relaxed when it comes to school work, just like some guys are relaxed when it comes to girls. Other people panic and get all tense when they have to do work and that's just counter-productive. Compared to them, I do little to no outside work. I'm too busy playing guitar or actually learning interesting stuff on my own. =p Though I did have one interesting class this semester. Er, anyway, I'm not all that serious in response to your other post...in fact I think most of the time you can't take me seriously.
Author kashmir Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 I bolded the two phrases that were pertinent. My question to you is, why would you ask a girl out who's flaky and rude? I'm not seeing any signs of positive signals from her. Well what positive signs did you give? And she didn't actually say "whatever." Of course she said, "oh, thank you!" but I could tell she was thinking "whatever." So she wasn't rude, but she was flaky in the sense that she didn't give me a definite answer when I asked her out. Maybe flaky wasn't the best word. She was also a bit loony, but damn was she stunning.
Trialbyfire Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Well what positive signs did you give? And she didn't actually say "whatever." Of course she said, "oh, thank you!" but I could tell she was thinking "whatever." So she wasn't rude, but she was flaky in the sense that she didn't give me a definite answer when I asked her out. Maybe flaky wasn't the best word. She was also a bit loony, but damn was she stunning. Plenty of body language, eye contact and flirting. The reflex action of turning him down was more from a personal preference of not dating strangers, than anything else. It turned out that he's never been rejected before so I guess it unintentionally peaked his interest even more.
Author kashmir Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 Plenty of body language, eye contact and flirting. The reflex action of turning him down was more from a personal preference of not dating strangers, than anything else. It turned out that he's never been rejected before so I guess it unintentionally peaked his interest even more. He's been rejected. Maybe not recently, but to say he's never been rejected before is total bullcrap.
elaina Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Elaina, last year I lived in a science/engineering dorm with a 5:1 guy to girl ratio that was hidden in the bowels of the engineering campus. That sucked. This year I live in a dorm with 5 other guys and 64 girls, and it's not much different. I'm not gonna meet anyone the rest of this semester which is gonna suck. And grades aren't an issue for me...(except for chemistry. I can do everything else but that field is boring as hell). It's kind of funny...I'm so chill and relaxed when it comes to school work, just like some guys are relaxed when it comes to girls. Other people panic and get all tense when they have to do work and that's just counter-productive. Compared to them, I do little to no outside work. I'm too busy playing guitar or actually learning interesting stuff on my own. =p Though I did have one interesting class this semester. Er, anyway, I'm not all that serious in response to your other post...in fact I think most of the time you can't take me seriously. Wow yep you are highly intelligent!!! That's why I thought you were serious... many highly intelligent people get too serious sometimes... Personally, I think your Miss Beautiful will come when you are busy not looking and worrying over a getting a girlfriend and at that time ya'll will just click! No worries! but yeah puhlease tell her you like her! and do sweet things for her She'll appreciate!
Trialbyfire Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 He's been rejected. Maybe not recently, but to say he's never been rejected before is total bullcrap. Oh, I don't know about that. You have to meet this guy to understand what he's like. I would be shocked if he were lying and I've heard some fairytales in my day.
Author kashmir Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 Oh, I don't know about that. You have to meet this guy to understand what he's like. I would be shocked if he were lying and I've heard some fairytales in my day. Well if you of all people believe him, then I'm going to start telling girls that I've never been rejected. I'm sure they would be shocked too if they found out I was lying.
Trialbyfire Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Well if you of all people believe him, then I'm going to start telling girls that I've never been rejected. I'm sure they would be shocked too if they found out I was lying. Go for it. See if they believe you.
Author kashmir Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 Wow yep you are highly intelligent!!! That's why I thought you were serious... many highly intelligent people get too serious sometimes... Personally, I think your Miss Beautiful will come when you are busy not looking and worrying over a getting a girlfriend and at that time ya'll will just click! No worries! but yeah puhlease tell her you like her! and do sweet things for her She'll appreciate! When I think about it I've never told a girl that I liked her, or for that matter, that I like anything even about her. I rarely give compliments. Compliments are really a foreign language to me. And honestly, the so-called notorious "miss beautiful" might have already come, but she's always been off limits (since I met her she's always had a boyfriend...a MARINE boyfriend). We click so much, and when we don't click we bicker and tease enough that we make ourselves click. Maybe some day...who knows.
burning 4 revenge Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Youve got have more confidence like Governor Blagojevich
Trialbyfire Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Phenomonal ballsiness. To continue auctioning off the Senate seat while the FBI and CIA are buzzing around like hornets, proves that he's a man with cajones!
elaina Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 When I think about it I've never told a girl that I liked her, or for that matter, that I like anything even about her. I rarely give compliments. Compliments are really a foreign language to me. And honestly, the so-called notorious "miss beautiful" might have already come, but she's always been off limits (since I met her she's always had a boyfriend...a MARINE boyfriend). We click so much, and when we don't click we bicker and tease enough that we make ourselves click. Maybe some day...who knows. That's awesome that ya'll have fun! You never know... she and her boyfriend might have a future together or they might break it off someday. Anyways, there's this quote that says something like someday someone will come along who will make you see why it never worked with anyone else... something like that I forgot the quote but someone on this forum has it, and I think that's so true! Whether one day she becomes available and ya'll get together or someone else comes along, either way she (whoever Miss Beautiful is) will be worth the wait!!! Peace
Author kashmir Posted December 12, 2008 Author Posted December 12, 2008 Youve got have more confidence like Governor Blagojevich lol Awesome example...look where his confidence got him.
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