chachaslide Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 hey. wow im glad i found this forum. heres my story... my bf, who i love more than anything in the world, and i have been together for 9 mths. earliy in the relationship, i found messages between him and another woman about him wanting to hook up with her. coem to find out they had previously "hooked up" before i met him. thsi really hurt me because at the time, i was beginning to really fall for him and trust him. i was crushed and told him to go back to his parents place (where he was staying) and that i did not know if i wanted to be with him anymore. that night i went out and got completely drunk beyond remembering anything and hooked up with a guy i used to work with. as soon as i woke up i felt like a total idiot and regretted it right away. i got back with my bf 3 days later but i didnt mention this to him because i really wanted things to work. he promised me that things with this girl were not happening and even told her to leave him alone and blocked and deleted her. well my bf and i are now living together and the guilt is still eating away at me for what i did. on one occasion i told him about the guy but i just said i had made out with someone and left out the sex part because really, how i was raised, i feel like a ho. its just been bothering me because things have changes since then he really is a different person from 6 months ago ad i dont want to lose him the thought of it makes tears in my eyes. basically i want to know if i should tell him the whole story or if i should wait for the time if/when he finds out. i dont want to tell him just to relieve my own guilty conscience. i havent talked to anyone about thsi because basically i just want to forget it ever happened i cant even stand the guy that i hooked up with cause he wouldnt leave me alone afterwards. it raelly was NOTHING and i know it sounds cliche but i would NEVER do it again. i even quit drinking and am getting help because i was having a lot of blackouts from drinking. i feel like im driving myself crazy but i love him. am i being selfish?
lovehoff Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I am with you, I did the exactly the same thing as you did. Weird, aha? But it is true, I did it and I feel regretted immediately after it, and then I told my boyfriend what I did........Of course he broke up with me and gave me a big slap on the face. But I know I deserve it. I think your boyfriend also deserves to know the truth!! WHATEVER he will do, but at least we did the wrong thing, and we have to take the responsibilities for what we did.
Author chachaslide Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 i really dont know how to bring it up to him though? its hard bringing up something like that when were both happy with eachother as is
lkjh Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Are you kidding? You give him crap because a girl sent him a text message and now you are debating whether or not to tell him you slept with someone else. Yes you need to tell him, it is his life and he has a right to know about it. Your relationship is a lie and there is more at stake then your personal happiness. It is his life to.
Gremio Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 You have to tell him. Even if you have to say those dreaded words "we need to talk". Just fully expect him to leave.
Author chachaslide Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 well it wasnt just a text he was planning on sleeping with her and apparently already had before we met and wanted to again. i told her off in a message and she started saying things to me what he had said to her and it really hurt me. i just want him to understand i would NEVER do this. and i wish i wouldve told him about it when it happened instead of months later. im so confused ive been crying my eyes out. i know 2 wrongs dont make a right but i was caught up in the moment.
Ayemtee Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 Tell him. Would you want to know if it were him who got ass from a random chick while you guys weren't on common ground? Try to not be selfish about this.
Viper973 Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 Need you even ask yourself that question. Break up with him immdediately.
Babylonia Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 It was foolish for you to "get revenge" (which is what you wanted to do) by having sex with someone--and very foolish, too, to blame it on your being drunk at the time (to get revenge, you first intended to get drunk), and it's going to be the ultimate in foolishness if you tell him about the sex episode--for then you are asking him to cope with your behavior instead of coping with your behavior yourself. Don't tell him; never tell him; and stop being a fool. You can start, obviously, by not drinking and by being a very good girl for your bf and helping him. Life is never easy.
Enema Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 I think don't tell him. As long as it's not something you're going to do again... just plow on into your relationship as usual and forget it ever happened.
me4u2 Posted December 12, 2008 Posted December 12, 2008 I'm going with don't tell. I don't see what purpose it serves. You broke up, you did something stupid and you regret it beyond belief. Why bring it up now and screw up all the good that's happened since. I think this is a lesson for you too not to be so harsh though. What you did was pretty foolish breaking up with him so quickly over nothing. But if you must clear your guilty feelings, then tell him, but be prepared for him to do what you did to him and probably worse.
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