Jenny123 Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I broke up wit my ex 10 1/2 weeks ago or so. I was replaced fairly quickly- closure never given. Anyhowz I've accepted he's not coming bk, no contact etc. I lived in the Middleeast for five years and came home- waited to be with him. My closest friends live abroad:( I've never liked home but was ok for now because he would be coming bk from the forces to be with me. The problem is, thoughts of him have lessened, I now speak to a nice guy as friends online-which helps. Suicidal thoughts are gone, I'm just wotever attitude.I do have anxiety when I think of ex in the chest;( I resigned from my work the day he broke up with me and I started a temping job yesterday, which didn't float my boat. What concerns me is I don't get excited about anything, I laugh a bit more now. I can't get motivated about a job here, I hate my life, planning 2 move 2 London for work once I get a job. I'm broken and I don't know how to fix myself, anyone have any tips? I feel disconnected to life.
kymberann Posted December 11, 2008 Posted December 11, 2008 I am disconnected too! i gave up my home my job and moved. He said he couldn't do it it we weren't working and basically kicked me out. This was after my 9 year old evem moved in with us. I sent her back to her house with her dad. I a, looking for a job and living place to place. Life sucks!
Author Jenny123 Posted December 11, 2008 Author Posted December 11, 2008 Hi kymberann,Wrong time of year I suppose- thinking maybe I have depression- should I get on some happy pills?! This year has been the hardest, hoping new year, new start. I'm 28, broke, no home, no job, no partner- life is just a barrel of laughs:( let me know how u get onx
Author Jenny123 Posted December 17, 2008 Author Posted December 17, 2008 If anyone can give me advice please. Well it has been 11 weeks since the break.Thoughts of him are less and less. I haven't been working this last 7 weeks-had a melt down:( Job fell thru -visa problems etc. When will my sadness leave?I have bad anxiety. I'm tearful. I have nightmares, where i'm screaming in my sleep once-twice a week. does anyone know wot that means? My neighbours probably think i'm wacko! I always talked in my sleep, but not screaming???! I look forward to meeting someone in the future and accept it wasn't meant to be. Has anyone ever been in this mess before, any advice or help? I have hit rock bottom and luck is not with me at the moment:( Broke, Jobless, and lonely in a crowded room:( Thanks.
Misfit Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Jenny, woman, me too. I was having drama at work in June because of new management which started my anxiety. Then my ex started getting distant in July and broke it off and it was our 1 year anniversary, that gave me bouts of depression. Then in August, I got my $2000 laptop stolen at starbucks which I bought because she wanted us communicate through myspace and it had all our pics on it, which made it more difficult to recover, so I foolishly bought another $1500 laptop that I can't afford. All the while at work the new boss was on my case and I had to fight my depression and try to act like nothing was wrong, but I was mentally and physically drained, because I was so sad. So in the beginning of September, after 5 years at my job, I get fired. I have 500 bucks left in my bank. My credit card is maxed and I had to settle for a minimum wage on call job because it's the only place that gave me a chance after I got fired from my last job. I have one more year contract for my cell phone that I can't afford to cancel and pay $200, I have a contract with my internet provider that ends in the middle of next year that also charges early cancelation, I owe student loans, and I need to pay the all the debt I just made using the credit card with my minimum wage on call job, on top of my $650 rent that I'm wondering how the hell am I gonna pay. But what hurt me is that, before coming to this site, I checked her myspace and she's got another boyfriend. Man when it rains it pours. and yeah I don't have any friends at all. Hope this makes you feel a little better.
hereandnow Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 My heart goes out to everyone who's posted on this thread. I took a nosedive as far as school was concerned (I'm a returning student) when my ex broke up with me. I thought there was a good chance I would fail one of my courses, and I was only taking 3 to get into the swing of things. Well, my grades are up, and somehow I managed a 4.0 GPA. WTF!!! So things can turn around. I'm a little curious as to where some of ya'll live and what ya'll do for work, there aren't any opportunities out there?
SarahT111 Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 Im sorry for both of you Misfit I totally agree "when it rains it pours" Everytime I get dumped my life seems to nosedive at the same time! I remeber back only a few months ago I was feeling like the luckiest person out there. I was in LA representing my country at my sport and had done very well. I had a great bf, great family, great friends I was doing very well at uni and I was just plain happy. Im not a religious person but one night I remember looking up at the sky and saying thankyou for everything. Well im guessing no-one heard, My bf dumped me for someone else (a hot blonde doctor to be exact) I got kicked off my countries sports team due to a bad performance. Had massive issues within my famiy resulting in none of them talking to me. My two best friends moved across the country. I failed my university exams as I was so broken hearted and now im stuck paying of a loan in the tens of thousands. To top it all off im very depressed. What annoys me is that I worked very very hard to get to where I was. I came from ultimate rock bottom to where I was and it just seems so unfair that everything was taken again when I worked dam hard to get up there. I dont know what to do now, Ive lost the will to try and build my life back up. Why bother when it will just get taken away again! So OP I totally know what your going through! Dont think by anymeans you are alone ok! I wish I could give you some solid advice but really im useless at that. Just thought it would help you to know your not aone!
Author Jenny123 Posted December 18, 2008 Author Posted December 18, 2008 The problem with me is I don't want 2 stay at home-N.Ireland- I want to move to England. I have had job interests, in what I want and after Christmas do the move. I had it all once-good job(Airhostess) and a man I was madly in love with. I have fallen face first, Rheumatoid arthritis,maxed out credit card, friends live abroad etc. I had my dog in Dubai and the woman looking after him has decided 2 rip me off and charge me double and there's nothing I can do, I either give him up or pay the mad old witch:( So the money I was borrowing from my Mum, is now going to getting my dog home. I'm like what next?? I also get frost bite from my Mum for not wanting to be here and doing what she wants. May I add i'm 28!!!!! So for now, I will do a minimum wage job until I get some money saved to move. Just hope new year, new start. I feel prayer has helped me, im aware there is less fortunate than me, -I just feel alone. Thanks for your stories guys, keep updated how you get on.
hereandnow Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 That's horrible about your dog and the woman in Dubai. D***. F***ing with somebody's pet is beneath contempt. I agree, prayer can be helpful. We also have a little saying in addiction recovery which actually is applicable here. No one can honestly tell you that IT is going to get better, but with the right work on yourself, regardless of how IT is, YOU can get better.
Crazy.S Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 It was the same for me. About 10 months ago my ex-gf dumped me over the phone after four years together. My life took a nosedive for the worst. My grades went down and I was close to not graduating. But I pulled through and made it. But after that I haven't been serious about finding a job. All of my friends are working and I am the only one who is home with his parents w/no job. I am really disappointed in myself for not moving on. I am here being depressed again since my ex found someone new. Even though I know there is nothing left between us, I am still sad about it. The year 2008 has been really hard for me and I hope next year will be much better. I know it is tough being where we are, but I am optimistic. I believe things will turn around if we don't give up. So never give up and work for what we want. I am just sick of being no one.
smiiiley Posted December 18, 2008 Posted December 18, 2008 I read what everyone said on here and in my opnion everything, all the bad feelings are simply caused by the loss of the one we love. I mean I know my life is the same now as it was when I was with him..BUT I am NOT the same...my emotional spirits have been broken so everything around jsut seems pointless...unfortuantely we cant skip through this...we just have to go through it. I'm in college and looking for a job...Lately nothing seems right but i know its because im depressed over my ex...if he were to come back, everything would feel..right... Such is life..everyone around me is living in happy lala land while im going through a midlife crisis..and sometimes i wish i had a helping hand...but when life decides to be COLD there is nothing that can keep you warm...i never want to go through this again...im 20 by the way...*sigh* young i know...but still misery doesnt care about age i guess and heartbreak doesnt listen much to logic...
Author Jenny123 Posted December 19, 2008 Author Posted December 19, 2008 Good news for a change-getting my dog back-paid the price:( Got the job I wanted, starting end of Jan next year- maybe things are turning around-at long last! Been a trying year, ready to say goodbye to it!
hereandnow Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Congratulations Jenny. Very glad to hear that you've got the dog back and the job. Excellent! Things do tend to eventually turn around. God has a funny way of putting satisfaction and joy in our lives. He just needs to learn to do it on my timetable!
Author Jenny123 Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 Thanks Hereandnow- Have to wait to Jan for job- but at least its happening. I was tempted to wish my Ex a Happy Christmas-when I was drinking alone. This site and it's members has helped me, for as I was thinking it, I thought of the members that have done that and a little voice in my head said Don't! New year, New start for all I hope:)
EmperorR Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 Thanks Hereandnow- Have to wait to Jan for job- but at least its happening. I was tempted to wish my Ex a Happy Christmas-when I was drinking alone. This site and it's members has helped me, for as I was thinking it, I thought of the members that have done that and a little voice in my head said Don't! New year, New start for all I hope:) Don't Jenny, breaking NC is the worst trust me I been there, good luck with your new exciting life:), only better things to come
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