pushforward Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 Of course this letter will never get to her, she doesn't deserve to know what I feel and what I'm going through. Dearest _____, You really pulled a number on me. I'm not really confused anymore, each day is another day of reality setting in. My heart can take it and my brain is still processing your betrayal. Really? How could you be so unloyal after I was so good to you. Don't I deserve honesty and respect? What you did is unforgivable. But, I do forgive you. You let me know that you're insecure and need to grow up. You confused me with your actions, your words and I was blinded by love. Nothing was wrong with me, nothing was ever wrong with me. I can't believe I thought I did something wrong, you committed the cardinal sin of infidelity. Truly a class act _____. I deserve so much better than you. You hurt me, to the point where I don't recognize myself anymore. I acted out of desperation, fear, love, and my emotions. I never doubted you one bit, until the truth came out. I always showed my affection for you, even after you threw me away, I cared about you. You've taught me a lot of life lessons and I'm glad for this to have happened. It gave me a chance to discover a deeper side of me, my spirituality and reconnect to God. I loved you with all my heart, I truly did and still do. My heart is losing you and coming back to me. Logic is kicking in and what you did cannot be fixed. I've been having self defeating mentality. Thinking I did something wrong, that I didn't love you enough, if this, if that. Quite frankly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. What you did was out of your own insecurity. I never questioned or doubted you, heck I even encouraged you to make new friends, go out and have a life beyond me. I remember dropping you off and picking you up when you went out. I was truly the best boyfriend you'll ever have. I don't even care if you do or don't regret it. I know in my heart I am the best. Better than of any your past relationships and better than any of your future relationships. I'm not full of anger and spite, I know who I am and what I'm able to offer. No other guy can treat you the way I did. Love you the way I do, I just got too much heart for you to handle. It's sad that you had to be immature and destroy me. It's a good thing though, I won't ever be able to love in the same way, in fact I'll love even more because of this experience. I'm thankful that your true colors came out now, imagine if we had been committed longer, married and had kids. The mother of my children would never behave the way you did. Without dignity, shame, remorse, all that good stuff that I went through. It's a despicable act that you could string me along and lie straight to my face. I forgive you though, most importantly I forgive myself. I thought you were honest and believed you. I thought love conquers all and you were the one that was meant for me. The one honest person I could share my life with. A fool I am, but no longer a fool for you. I still think about you crazily and still have lingering feelings. I'm glad that time is on my side and washing these feelings away. No matter what amount of damage you did to me. All I got is love for you, which is beautiful to me. I really am too good for you. I can't bring myself to hate you in any way, shape or form. There were lots of good times, but the good doesn't outweigh the bad. Thanks for teaching me lessons about life, shattering my heart and ultimately put me on the path to being a better man.
LiveandLearn Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I'm sure a lot of people can relate to every word in your letter. I know I can. Thank you for sharing. All we can do is take the lessons we've learned through these heartbreaks and strive for something better. Don't regret anything. If anything, we've gained experienced. We now know what we want and don't want out of life and a significant other. Life is a learning process and in order to be happy, one has to know what it's like to be unhappy.
EmperorR Posted December 10, 2008 Posted December 10, 2008 I can send this to my cheating ex right now, that's how exactly how I felt Except I'm past loving my ex, the person I loved is dead and only a living corpse remains.
Author pushforward Posted December 10, 2008 Author Posted December 10, 2008 I can send this to my cheating ex right now, that's how exactly how I felt Except I'm past loving my ex, the person I loved is dead and only a living corpse remains. I'm starting to think that myself. Not sure if there is love or just some type of feeling there, I'm confused as to what I really feel for this person. I think it's love, but how do I love somebody that hurts me?
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